a man standing, donning brown large wale corduroy pants put his ass thisclose to my face while i was sitting on the subway last night. and may have farted.
true story.
i offered up my seat to a visibly pregnant woman by saying, “do you want to sit?”
and she answered, “oh! i’m not pregnant!” and then i died.
true story.
i spotted a trying-to-be-unseen Scott Speedman racing past me. but not before i grabbed my camera and took a shot. mmm…scruffy Scott Speedman…
true story.
i may have replaced my beloved Victoria’s Secret v-string. i kid you not. on the rare occasion that i DO wear underpants, under jeans, i always wear the trusty v-string. cute, comfy, perfect. and then Miss Oprah Winfrey had to go and endorse something. something that my stepmom snatched up and threw into my Chrismukah stocking.
a black hanky panky low-rise thong.
heaven
thanks, Oprah. i haven’t loved Oprah this much since she introduced my to SPANX.
(i may or may not have taken a photo of myself wearing them. and my ass? way nicer than hers. just saying)
true story.
i submitted one of my pictures from TIFF to a big name photo agency and got a call last night about it! awesome! maybe i’m cut out to be a paparazzo. although can you see my hiding out under stairs to get photos of Britney’s nethers??!?!
maybe i’ll submit some of the ones i took last night at the gala premiere to Pride and Glory
maybe this one:
or this one:
or any of the other ones over here….hmmm….
Colin Farrell and Jon Voight were no-shows last night. but Edward Norton. good god, Edward Norton. words cannot express to you how much i love Ed Norton. Hell, i even loved him in Death to Smoochy.
AND there was a lovely little Fight Club-esque scene in the movie involving Ed Norton and Colin Farrell. and while some of the women in the theater were all “oh my god! the violence!” i was sitting there all...rawr.
true story.
55