Emily, to me, this morning: “Mommy, you look SO much like Jamie Lynn Spears today”
me: “oh. really. great. EXACTLY the look i was going for” (insert sarcasm here)
Emily: “but, the Zoey 101 version. not the big and pregnant version”
me: “thanks. um. i think”
and. um. i think she might be right.
shit.
have i ever told you about the time i saw Titanic in IMAX?
well, while the husband spent the entire movie being disturbed by how bad the graphics were in imax…yes, honey, the people on the long shots of the boat looked incredibly fake...i spent the entire movie being disturbed by the blind girl sitting next to me.
i know this sounds bad.
but she was blind. and therefore, couldn’t see. and therefore, brought herself a companion. who spent the entire movie answering her every-30-second question of “what’s happening now?”
and not in the good Leroy and Raj and Rerun way either…
and i thought, it’s nice that she went to see a movie…but perhaps an emptier matinée would have been a better choice? so i didn’t have to hear the movie IN STEREO??!?!?
well, i kind of thought the exact same thing last night.
after i wanted to stab the asshole in front of me in the throat. a man who brought his FIVE-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER to see
(i guess i’m not one to talk since my dad DID take me and my sister to see FLASHDANCE in the theater. when i was FIVE. but still. Iron Man? really? sex? violence? men being ripped from their wives and children? really? a five year old?)
the theater was nearly empty. there was the couple making out in the back. the father-daughter-team. another father-daughter-team (at least we hoped they were, but there may have been a little bit too much, erm, touching for them to be related) there was Tova and Me.
and then there was the special school. on a field trip. to see Iron Man.
which, i think, was really, really nice. (remember this before you judge me)
but my first thought was..”wouldn’t a matinée be a better choice?”
because there were outbursts. many, many outbursts. and the screams. lots of screaming. and fidgeting and ticking. it was really distracting. REALLY distracting. and none of the caregivers thought “hey, maybe we should take these kids out of the theater so other people can enjoy the movie they paid to see…”
smile and wave, boys. smile and wave.
two saving graces?
i LOVED the movie, even though i’m the last person on the planet to see it. (but at least i’m not the last one to see Juno, like some people i know…)
i LOVED the dude behind the snack counter, who convinced us to buy the large free-refill popcorn. he handed us a tray, emptied the popcorn into it, and then refilled the popcorn right there for us. one for me. one for Tova. AWESOME.
perhaps i shall go back to just downloading my movies….
41