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The One Where I am Sick. (oh, this is an exciting one, let me tell you)

parenting sure is fun

2 Feb

If you didn’t know any better, you might think that some sort of natural disaster hit the top floor of casa de Martell this week. Tornado, most likely. There are three hampers and 17 piles of laundry scattered across three bedrooms and a hallway. They are all clean, mind you, but they haven’t been folded and put away. There are no less than 43 towels hanging from bed posts and doors and strewn across couches and chairs. Each has been used once; I refuse to wash a towel that has been used only once. But my children and husband seem to refuse to reuse towels. There are six mugs of coffee, in need of being taken downstairs to the dishwasher.

(NO, I clearly haven’t learned anything from the Emily-spills-coffee-on-my-new-laptop incident.)

(PS. giving your new laptop a bath in white rice will save it from coffee spills. Little known tricks, FTW!)

There are Mouse Trap pieces all over the floor in Josh’s room, plus the remnants of a magic show he put on this weekend. Blankets that should be on bed are on the floor. Crayons and markers and pens and pencils (oh my) that should be put away are on the floor. Shoes that should be in the closet are on the floor.

Except, sadly, there hasn’t been a natural disaster. Unless you want to call it Hurricane AliIsSick.  Oh yes, THE PLAGUE. It arrived on Sunday carrying non-specific symptoms that I thought would end in one of two ways – 1. my first migraine or 2. my head was actually going to break into 119 pieces. At first I blamed the Grammys. I thought maybe it was the back-to-back Pink + Fergie and then there was the horrific Taylor Swift performance. Oh, Taylor Swift…I think you are insanely talented, but, honey, you should NEVER perform live again in your life, I’m just saying. And then I blamed the fact that I was missing my child do this:

And then I blamed it on Isabella driving me BATTY with wanting to change her name to ELLA…because it’s “much more PRINCESSIER.”

and then I assumed it was the busy, busy weekend with her and her which included hanging out with some wonderful people and included trying to figure out how to write a theme song for the AMAZINGLY AMAZING Miss Anissa and we would call it “Anissa’s song” and everyone everywhere would listen to it while sporting toques and hoodies and Rocky accents. But, you know, I was up past my bedtime (the horror!) doing things like taking pictures of them trying to take pictures of their boobs. You know, that old chestnut.

but, really, I KNOW.

It’s just sickness. It’s sickness that requires a good two sick days. But stay-at-home-moms who don’t have nannies anymore? We don’t get sick days. Because there’s laundry and clogged toilets and shoddy internets to fix and packing for my daughter’s trip to Israel to do (GAH! without me. for 16 days!) and work and more work and even more work and games to clean up and towels to force my family to reuse while I dream up the best birthday present ever – A SICK DAY (now, I wouldn’t say no to a week on an island somewhere where cute men without shirts were serving me cerveza while I did nothing but work on my book and my tan)…but yes, a sick day. JUST ONE.

For now, if you’ll excuse me…my sick and I have a tea party to attend**

(**and if you actually want something good to read, you can read this.)

13 Comments

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Comments

  1. Darcey says

    February 2, 2010 at 11:46 am

    Aww, honey – feel better – I’m rocking an “under the weather” day, myself – but with a major deadline this afternoon, I can’t do it from the couch.

    Reply
  2. Tickled Pink Twice says

    February 2, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    Ah…mom sick days are literally the worse. Well, no, the days after sick days are the worse. You have to clean up after the hubby/children atomic bomb. Glad to know other houses fall apart when mom isn’t doing her regular.

    Visiting from Mommy Blogs and glad I did. Always looking for some good reads.
    .-= Tickled Pink Twice´s last blog ..Trying Not to Compare Children… =-.

    Reply
  3. Apryl's Antics says

    February 2, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    🙁 Such a bad sentence for such a wonderful host! You don’t deserve this. I hope you feel better! Thanks, again! Smooches (from way over here, of course)!

    Reply
  4. Kathy says

    February 2, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    Ugh. Hope you feel better soon! I fear getting sick so much because of the aftermath. I’m a vitaminhollic in hopes of preventing sickies as much as possible!
    .-= Kathy´s last blog ..Denial or not =-.

    Reply
  5. NaomiJesson says

    February 2, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    Rice did not work for my phone! :*( Sucks being sick-get better quick!
    .-= NaomiJesson´s last blog ..Cactus Club has Rotating Toliet Seats. =-.

    Reply
  6. Kristabella says

    February 2, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    I love how Emily knows exactly where the camera is. She should have had a solo! 🙂

    Feel better!

    Reply
  7. fadkog says

    February 2, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    First, Emily rocks. Second, why, oh why do my pigtails NEVER look that awesome?! I mean, sure, it couuld have something to do with the fact I’m pushing the boundaries of plausibility by wearing them at my age, but pffft!

    Finally, hope you’re feeling better soon. I must send off a WWF game to you soon so you can trump me solid!
    .-= fadkog´s last blog ..one little boy, one little man =-.

    Reply
  8. katie | motherbumper says

    February 2, 2010 at 7:36 pm

    OK – totally blame me for this because omg I’m sick. I’m so sorry – no really I am. SORRY – FORGIVE ME.

    And yes, that old chestnut. But you must admit our b**bs did look especially spectacular that night. I think it was inspired by Anissa.

    Reply
  9. rayli says

    February 3, 2010 at 3:53 am

    Emily is amazing! feel better!

    Reply
  10. Angella says

    February 3, 2010 at 10:27 am

    Aw, I’m sorry you’re sick. I know all too well the lack of sick days when you’re a WAHM.

    Hope today’s better! 🙂

    Reply
  11. LAVENDULA says

    February 3, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    your Emily is such a little star! and gosh who is she going to Israel with for 16 days? I would be so worried i’d be having panic attacks about my child flying being without me etc.get well soon

    Reply
  12. muskrat says

    February 3, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    totally my fault. sort of.

    Reply
  13. Katie says

    February 4, 2010 at 2:32 am

    hope you feel better.

    And taylor swift was awful (I didnt watch it..) I’ve seen her in concert and she was pretty awesome. besides the fact that she is way too in love with her hair.
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..No regrets, really? =-.

    Reply

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I am a writer, a mama, a wife, a lion tamer, a diet coke quitter, a juggler, a getter-of-drinks. Read More…

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