It’s a good thing I’m a quick reader, because, otherwise, I would be asking for the time I spent reading Something Borrowed back. Because I finished it in about 3 days of subway travel, I feel less guilty about polluting my mind with such crap. And it’s not that every once in a while I don’t enjoy a good mindless piece of chicklit; I do. I mean, I typically gravitate towards the same kind of novel…historical fiction, with an emphasis on anything that takes place during any time of war in any country. But sometimes I am all over a Bridget Jones or a Jennier Weiner or even one of those Shopaholic numbers. Sometimes, especially during a busy commute, it’s needed. But I don’t know. This one…was…not…good. Maybe it’s because not one of the characters was even mildly likable. Maybe it’s because there was no one I was rooting for, and I do enjoy rooting for a protagonist who always sees herself as less worthy than others. It’s that always the way with rom-coms? The plain girl is never as plain as she thinks! And just wait until the movie is out (WAIT. Is the movie already out?) Ginnifer Goodwin will pretty much reprise the role she played in He’s Just Not That Into You (that’s what that horrible movie was called, right?) and lalalala! she comes out on top. So, I probably won’t see the movie, even though I like Ginnifer Goodwin, but I prefer her a little more sister wife-esque.

And speaking of sister wives…that is what I am reading about now. The 19th wife, that already, in the first 25 pages, has more potential than Something Borrowed did in the entire novel. I’d much rather read about polygamy and pinafores and long braids than partying in the Hamptons in uncomfortable shoes and skirts that are too short. I see enough of that on the subway.

Like, just this week, I got to hear about the girl whose boobs needed more coverage and her latest conquests at work. But, lest her friend, the girl with the greasy hair worry for her friend, they are only screwing…not getting serious. (Note to self: Write novel. Title it The Girl Whose Boobs Need More Coverage. Follow it up with an award-winning sequel, The Girl with the Greasy Hair.) I guess showing up to work with an almost Pippa Middleton PIP SLIP situation has benefits. I also got to observe the three amazon women discussing their identical black short tight skirts.

Amazon #1: Do you think my skirt is short enough to make a good impression?

Amazon #2: I don’t know. Bend over. If I can see your ass, then you’re good.

Amazon #1: Thanks. You are such a good friend.

Amazon #3 silently sips her Booster Juice.

People are awesome on the subway.

They are also awesome off of the subway. They hork and spit on the sidewalk. They yell out of their car windows at me. They talk to themselves. They sleep on the sidewalk. They call me “white bread,” whatever the heck that means….

Sometimes I feel like giving them a piece of my mind…or maybe giving them my copy of Something Borrowed. Because I sure as heck don’t want it.

(Also. Please to send along your book recommendations! I am a reading fool these days and would love some suggestions for good subway reading.)