it’s 6:17am and i’m sitting at my desk at work. in the fucking dark because hell if i know how to turn on the lights in here. 6:17? before this the earliest i’ve ever been in was, um, 7:58? but, really, truthfully, there’s no where else i’d rather be right now. (well, that’s a lie. i’d rather be back in St. Lucia lying on the beach. i haven’t been in to work since Friday, and usually, i would be all “hells ya! parlez vous vacation!” but instead i was stuck in my own little hell. the “vacation” with my parents only went downhill from that “wah, feel sorry for me, my mother doesn’t love me” post. but truth be told…i’m done wallowing in self pity.
i. am. awesome.
and if my mother can’t see that that’s HER FUCKING PROBLEM. it’s clear from my post that i don’t need her. i have amazing friends (ps. Tova? that Tim Horton’s large regular coffee you brought me on Tuesday morning? HEAVEN. you will never know how much that little $1.49 present meant to me) and amazing readers…seriously, y’all blew me away and an amazing husband who, if anything, is TOO proud of me and loves me TOO much. (and he only fought with me ONCE the entire week. usually we end up at each other’s throats because we are so stressed about my mom and stepdad – who, incidentally, did not pick his ass up off the couch a single time. did not thank me for cooking and cleaning up after him for an entire week and complimented only one thing…the oreo cookie ice cream – that we take it out on each other)
from now on i focus on what’s good. and not what’s toxic, i.e., my relationship with my mother. she will never change. and she will never be proud of me. so, it’s not worth the time and effort it takes to keep hoping that one day she’ll wake up. because she won’t.
so i drowned myself in a little retail therapy…
(ps. the purple skirt is going back…because, really, a purple velvet skirt? but, i was stuffing myself with clothing instead of cookies…so it wasn’t the most rational of times. but the velvet jacket? AWESOME)
and a little geek therapy…
oh yeah! boom chicka wow wow. it doesn’t get much geekier than having two computer screens on your home pc.
and a little kid therapy…
which always seems to help a little bit. Emily declined from this baby-ish game of SLIDE. what is she, um, a teenager or something?
so…there is always the good. which certainly helps to make up for the not so good.
(and i never did find myself some spanx…but i did go all trendy-like and buy myself three pairs of HUE jewel toned tights…regal, chili, and sapphire. control top, of course)