I wish I had something more exciting to tell you than the fact that the price of my morning coffee is going up 7 cents and I know that I’m supposed to be all up in arms at Tim Hortons for daring to change the price of a large coffee from $1.58 to $1.65, but, you guys, I’m just going to say this, $1.65 is just a better number for me. There are less pennies involved. Also, it just looks better. Also, it’s possible that the line at the drive-thru will be shorter because all those jackholes who are all “I cannot pay an extra seven cents!” will be boycotting and spending $4 on lattes at Starbucks instead.
I’m single parenting it for the next nine days or so while Theonewhomakestheschoollunches is off working
galavanting in Las Vegas. Bring on the pizza delivery! Whee! This conference comes at the same time every year. It’s always right before 8 of the worst 9 days for Jews. So, instead of dealing with this Passover holiday, we decided to just hop in the car and drive the 9+ hours to my mom’s. I am hoping to hop the kids up on sugar, buy some new DVDs for the car, pull out the hidden Color Wonder activity books
(or, whatever, like you don’t hide toys from your kids to pull out when the option is driving to drink and/or pulling all of your hair out or HEY! SHRINKY DINKS!)
and hope and pray for the best. The last time we did this the only real snag was because of ME and my unfortunate habit of never knowing where in the sam hell my passport is. To make sure this doesn’t happen this time around, I have procured one of those passport necklace type deals and have been wearing it on my person at all times. Oh yes. I am bringing sexy back.
But, I know you are all thinking, ALI, why don’t you just hop on a plane to Milwaukee? and I will tell you. We are driving because of two very important things. Thing #1: My mom is planning to move sometime in the maybe/possible/probable near future. And I have devious plans to
steal borrow books from her because, as we all know, I am anti-library and I am also really cheap and my mom has a book buying sickness so I fully plan to reap those benefits. Thing #2: Apparently, there is a new Target in Milwaukee so I won’t have to go to the very scary one where people without teeth want to eat my face and products are chained to the shelves.
I am probably as excited about stocking up on summer wardrobes from my kidlets at Target as I was when I watched Jon Stewart do Glenn Beck better than Glenn Beck can do Glenn Beck.
(I wonder how many times I can write Glenn Beck in a post. Take THAT google searchers!)
Because, dude, that was some serious brilliance right there.
Make out with my, Jonny.
Of course the minute I am on my own things start to shut down. Indy’s eyes are full of some sort of gunky junk. Emily’s legs are covered in some sort of itchy rash. Pia gets voted off American Idol.
I don’t know how I’ll survive.