right under my nose... - Cheaper Than Therapy Cheaper Than Therapy

May 13 09

I had such a great post planned. SUCH a great post. It involved telling you how my skeptical self and I went to a Gold Party at my bff’s last night expecting to maybe make about $50 and eat some twizzlers. I mean, I brought some old gold necklaces and earrings that I haven’t worn in years, and we won’t mention the blinged-out necklace with my name on it (bat-mitzvah gift). So, $50. That was going to make me happy.

and then, Elliot, my new best friend told me, he didn’t even let me venture a guess…

elliot

$1270

holy. shit. I know. and don’t think I hadn’t planned out the HD Flip and the iphone I was going to purchase with this nice little surprise (happy birthday to me!). I took the WAD of money, all nicely wrapped in a rubber band and put it away in my wallet, in my purse.

All you could see was my grin. It was EAR TO EAR, folks.

until.

oh, until.

(sadly, this post is NOT the post I set out to write)

Because this morning when I opened my wallet, I didn’t find the rubber-banded wad of cash. What I found was an open wallet, a missing rubber band, and exactly $270.

Someone at the party stole $1000 from my purse. Right under my nose.

SOMEONE I KNOW. IN MY BEST FRIEND’S HOUSE.Â WENT INTO MY PURSE, INTO MY WALLET AND TOOK OUT $1000.

and left me a $270 tip. kthxbai. talk about a slap in the fucking face.

I am violated. I am embarrassed. I am sad. I am shocked.

I am embarrassed to be a woman who is part of a community where its members show up to a party in someone’s home and STEAL MONEY from people they know.

I have lost my faith in people. People who have been inside my home. People who smile and make small talk about selling my house and my move to Atlanta. People whose children go to school with mine. People who go to my synagogue. People whose faces were in the pictures I took last night.

(Some of you out there are afraid to post your children’s names on the internet? I’d be more afraid of the people who are right under your nose…they are the REAL sick ones)

I lost a lot more than money last night.

my husband always knows what not to say. I mean, he didn’t say “it’s only money” because he knows WAY better than to think this is actually about money.

he also knows what to say. when I got to work this morning, he sent me this:

Don’t lose faith in all humanity babe.

I know some pretty cool girls who drove 12 hours to support a friend.

and then I wept again.

Filed Under

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Comments

Wow. That’s absolutely hideous. Someone deserves a serious donkeypunch, and I hope whoever it is feels just as “vomitrocious” as you while trying to handle their guilt. They should never have broken your trust, or that of everyone else that was at the party.
Comment by Tatiana on May 13, 2009
*jaw hitting the floor* THAT IS SO HORRIBLE – what kind of person does that? How do you trust that group of “friends” again? Now everyone will be looking sideways at each other — and sadly with reason. I’m angry and sad for you Ali, that just bites the big one.
Comment by katie ~ motherbumper on May 13, 2009
That is flat out incredible, Ali! Curious as to whether or not you plan to tell the hostess, or anyone else in attendance.
Comment by jcristg on May 13, 2009
Ugh. Ali, I hate that someone could be so… ugh. Yeah, I can’t quite find words to describe someone like that. That is a very sad example of what people are capable of in everyday settings.

But your hubby is right – there are some shining examples of what humanity is capable of – and you are one such exampler.
Comment by Darcey on May 13, 2009
OMG I’m just stunned. That is incredible!

What I would do (I think like this – I’m such a pansy) is tell myself that this person must have really needed that money to do such a thing. Something horribe is going on in their life that they can’t share and it’s driven them to this. How else to explain such a terible violation of a friend?

But that completely sucks on all sort of bad things.

Wow. So sorry.

Amy @ Milk Breath &s last blog post..Bartender Can I Have A Blankie?
Comment by Amy @ Milk Breath & on May 13, 2009
OMG- I AM HORRIFIED for you. I cannot even believe that money was stolen from your purse- in your friend’s house!!! I would be SO FREAKING ANGRY.
Your husband is a wise man

Mayas last blog post..See Kai Run
Comment by Maya on May 13, 2009
Wow. No words. That is freaking RIDICULOUS. Karma will get that bitch’s ass. Don’t you worry.
Comment by Lyndsey on May 13, 2009
Are you fucking kidding me? Get me a list of names and I’ll start waterboarding.
Comment by Avitable on May 13, 2009
Oh my God. That’s awful. I can’t believe it.

I always leave my purse sitting around at birthday parties — assuming even the people I quasi know, or whom the hosts know, are stand-up people, or at least that they wouldn’t steal my money.

I’m so sorry.

Gabe is wise to say what he did. Hang on to that…. ((HUG))
Comment by Haley-O on May 13, 2009
Holy eff. How does someone do that? We’ve had some desperate times lately – but to steal? Whoa.

Karma, baby. It’s coming.

kgirls last blog post..Four for Four
Comment by kgirl on May 13, 2009
I’d give the cops a call. They’d investigate every single person at that party and flush the guilty one out.
That’s what I’d do. If it was $50 I’d let it go. But $1000? Forget it.
Comment by Laura on May 13, 2009
I would have such a hard time trusting any of those people ever again. You will always look at them and think, wow you could be the one who stole from me. Did anyone else at the party get their money taken as well?

You are an amazing person from what I read and don’t lose faith you are a cool chick with a HUGE heart!
Comment by Kate on May 13, 2009
What?! I thought you were joking at first. This is insane! Who does something like that?
Comment by Steph on May 13, 2009
sorry 🙁

and .. you’re husband is exactly right…..
Comment by Sarah on May 13, 2009
sorry – that totally sucks Ali 🙁

and .. your husband – what a guy you have, he is SO right
Comment by sarah on May 13, 2009
Oh man, that sucks! I agree with Laura – call the cops and flush the person out. Your other friends from the party (your true friends) will understand why you are doing it. I know I would. Man, I feel bad for you…I wish I had some cash to just send you – just to see you smile!
Comment by Laurie on May 13, 2009
I don’t think I could, but could you call them out somehow?
I can’t imagine how you feel, so sorry.
Comment by Teri on May 13, 2009
I never watch my purse in such situations! I guess I will, if it happened to you it could happen to me. How awful! I’m sorry Ali.
Comment by Heather on May 13, 2009
That is terrible. I’m sure you feel violated. Heck I felt the same way when someone came onto my porch and stole my daughters halloween pumpkin…and that was only a pumpkin! I can’t imagine $1000 .What a slimeball!!! You should invite the same group over and tell everyone what happened. Just look for the uncomfortable one…or the one who didn’t show up.
Your husband is right, don’t give up. Not all of us are bad eggs.
Comment by Tara L on May 13, 2009
I seriously gasped when i read this. I am so sorry that this happened to you.
Comment by NEWMOM on May 13, 2009
WTF?! I’m sad and outraged right along with you. Hell, I feel gut-punched. There’s a tiny voice in my head saying I hope whoever was ballsy enough to commit this crime seriously needed the money and has been too ashamed or embarrassed to ask, but the louder voice in me says that’s probably not the case and is again yelling “WTF?!” I would gather this group together and call their asses out.

I am stunned…

fadkogs last blog post..and the one that mother gives you…apparently doesn’t get eaten at all
Comment by fadkog on May 13, 2009
I just emailed you, but I’ll say it here. I feel sick. Sick, sick, sick.
Comment by Angella on May 13, 2009
Oh buddy – that sucks! That happened to my SIL at a family function. She is sure one of her cousins did it – they were teens at the time. She never confronted them either – it was $80 bucks and too uncomfy to approach. But $1000? and supposed friends? Ugh. I can’t even imagine.
Comment by Karen Sugarpants on May 13, 2009
calling the police is completely the right thing to do. that’s way too much to let it go. and that’s violated friendships aside.
Comment by zeghsy on May 13, 2009
Holy shit! I feel shocked, absolutely shocked, Ali! I also leave my purse lying around when we are at parties/friends’ houses. You have every right to feel the way you do. Does the person who was hosting the party know? Your husband is awesome.
Comment by Jen on May 13, 2009
Oh my gosh I am so shocked. Did you tell the hostess? I would love to contribute more to this discussion but I am flat out shocked.

Sensibly Sassys last blog post..Half Way Through 30 Flippin’ Days of Fitness
Comment by Sensibly Sassy on May 13, 2009
wtf. are you serious? that’s sick. and sad. very, very sad!
Comment by adina on May 13, 2009
definitely wrong. but listen to that wise husband…
Comment by holly on May 13, 2009
Other people’s audacity shocks me. SHOCKS me.

That sucks, Ali. Really hard.
Comment by mamatulip on May 13, 2009
WOW. Find the thief and crucify her. Seriously. WOW.

lorens last blog post..Summer, summer, summertime
Comment by loren on May 13, 2009
Nothing hurts more thinking you know people and they betray your trust. What goes around comes around, keep chanting that…LOL!

Kamis last blog post..~skyler~
Comment by Kami on May 13, 2009
I am heartbroken for you. I am so sorry Ali. That is just HORRIBLE.
Comment by sam on May 13, 2009
That’s completely horrible. I have had money stolen from my wallet before and I felt extremely violated. It’s gotta be worse knowing that it might have been someone you know.

Last night at a book fair at my daughter’s school, a little girl dropped a big wad of cash out of her purse. Someone must have just picked it up and pocketed it. The mom was so upset because the girl had been saving it for years, and she was sick to think that no one would turn in a pile of cash they just found on the floor. I agree — times are tough, but what happened to honesty and integrity?
Comment by Nancy on May 13, 2009
Holy shit. I mean, HOLY SHIT.

(You’re sure you had the $1k in there, right? I mean, I know it’s all friends and shit, but you counted the money before sticking it into your purse, right?)

And to have this happen days before your birthday?!?
Comment by SciFi Dad on May 13, 2009
I can’t get over this. Ali, that is so horrible. They are supposed to be your friends… Sad.
Comment by Chantal on May 13, 2009
I can’t believe someone actually had the nerve to do that, and to a friend. SHAMEFUL! I am like many others and so trusting in those situations. Who would think that someone would actually steal from a friend. Their loss too, because they’ve gained money but lost a friend, which is far more valuable. Hope you figure out who took it.
Comment by Kristin on May 13, 2009
Wow, Ali. I’m so sorry. That is so horrible. I can’t believe that.

But Gabe’s right. There are still good people in this world.
Comment by Kristabella on May 13, 2009
I think I’m echoing everyone else here when I say WTF? I cannot fathom someone being ballsy enough to try and pull that off with a stranger let alone a friend. I totally understand why you feel like you just got beat down.

I’m so sorry.

Juliennes last blog post..Adventures in home renovation.
Comment by Julienne on May 13, 2009
Oh that’s horrible. I’m sorry that one person had to ruin it for you. It’s startling to think what tempts people and makes them do criminal acts to their very own friends.

kiridas last blog post..the good life for a weekend
Comment by kirida on May 13, 2009
That is horrible! I cant even believe it. I was so hoping you were getting a flip!…i hope that person reads this and feels disgusted with herself! sorry! oh and what your hubby wrote…made me cry too.
Comment by Rayli on May 13, 2009
OMG!!! Ali i’m so sorry. how awful what was that person thinking when they did that?.i am at a loss for words….gabe is a sweet and awesome husband.hes right don’t lose faith in humanity….gosh i have found money on sidewalk and picked it up and put it in persons mailbox because was in front of house. i can not imagine going into a friends purse and stealing.
Comment by LAVENDULA on May 13, 2009
Thieves are the worst – but I fully believe what goes around, comes around. It will come back to haunt her eventually. 🙁
Comment by 180/360 on May 13, 2009
That is horrible – what a violation of trust! And friendship. I would be stick to my stomach too – but if it were my house, I would want to know what happened. I’m so sorry for you.

TUWABVBs last blog post..An Early Mothers’ Day Tribute to My Mom (or Why I’ve Been Going to Professional Waxers Since the Young Age of 17)
Comment by TUWABVB on May 13, 2009
I was thinking that maybe the dude wrote you a bad check, or when I read it was cash that maybe he gave you fake bills, but I would have never have guessed what happened. This is just so wrong. Many hugs to you ((((ali))))
Comment by Heather on May 13, 2009
Oh, that is SO bad. Teh suck.
Comment by Swistle on May 13, 2009
youvegottabefingkiddingme!?!?!?!

Classy. Steal money from your friend, but leave her with some chump change… like that’ll make up for it?

Them (while pawing through your bag): “Gee, I only need $1k…I’ll leave her the rest… she can get herself something nice to help her forget one of her friends is a douche bag… ’cause I’m thoughtful like that”.

karens last blog post..Comfort Food
Comment by karen on May 13, 2009
I kept reading thinking this was a joke. But it wasn’t.

That SUCKS.

I’m so sorry. People suck sometimes. Not all of them, but some really, really suck donkey balls.
Comment by Chicky Chicky Baby on May 13, 2009
That is horrifying. And I hope they feel SUPER guilty and give it back. I’m so sorry!
Comment by Kaleigha on May 13, 2009
Ali, that is absolutely horrible. And sometimes people do suck…but most of the time, they rock. I hope you find out who did it, so you don’t wonder about everyone you know.
Comment by Issa on May 13, 2009
That is insane – I am so sorry. People suck…
Comment by ClassyFabSarah on May 13, 2009
Oh, that’s terrible! I’m so sorry to hear that!
Comment by Lottifish on May 13, 2009
I tried posting earlier when your site went down, and I’m glad I couldn’t, because it made me reread the story. I originally wondered if the person only GAVE you $270 in the first place and perhaps you didn’t realize it… but with the un-rubber-banded wad in the open wallet…

You know, I am sure some people would be afraid that calling the police would undermine their relationships with the remaining GOOD friends, but frankly the person who stole the money has already done that. Getting the police to get to the bottom of it might actually be able to RESTORE the trust.

And also? I guess it would be ultimately good if it comes out that the thief was hiding some addiction and catching her would “out” the problem?

Dellas last blog post..(Basically) Wordless Wednesday
Comment by Della on May 13, 2009
re-re-reread this. Had an OMG moment.

sorry I’m kinda dumb, I’m new to your blog. but you have an 8 year old, right? has either of your kids been alone with your purse since you got home last night?

when my stepdaughter was that exact age, we had a Situation with her and a $50 bill out of her mother’s purse. her teacher called the mom to say that an unusually large bill of cash was being waved around and did that really belong to the 8 year old?

when confronted, she claimed that she had only intended to borrow it to show it off because she’d never seen a $50 bill before. well, i was not present for that particular interrogation, and she has her mother wrapped around her little finger so anyway let me just end this story and say the money was returned.

ANYWAY. when I read that the money was not actually discovered missing until this morning… it’s a possibility worth looking into.

Dellas last blog post..(Basically) Wordless Wednesday
Comment by Della on May 13, 2009
NO MA’AM.
my kids were asleep last night when i came in after 11, and dropped my purse beside my bed. where it sat until the morning when i woke up and got ready while my kids were still asleep.

no chance it was my kids. or my nanny.
Comment by ali on May 13, 2009
Holy cow! That really sucks.
$1270!!!! For a few old chains??? That’s awesome.
I can’t believe someone actually went into your purse undid the rubber band, took $1000 and left the rest. Where was your purse? How could this happen right under your nose! It really really SUCKS!!!!
Your husband is right, hold on to that! You are awesome.
Comment by Dina on May 13, 2009
OH MY GOD!! Oh, Alli, I’m so sorry. That is so, so sad.

and your husband is awesome
Comment by Miss Britt on May 13, 2009
Dude, sometimes people suck.

A few weeks ago, during my daughter’s ballet class, one of the other mothers walked out to car only to catch a woman that had come along with another mother sitting in her car, rifling through her purse. She yelled, “Hey! What are you doing?” and the woman jumped out of the car, got in the car she’d arrived in and drove off. Consequently, she stranded the mother she’d arrived with at the ballet studio, which made it really interesting when the cops came! It was CRAZY.

It’s just so shocking and sad that someone would steal from you, right under your nose. They must be some kind of desperate. Or stupid. Or both.

Leslies last blog post..I Can See It From My Front Porch
Comment by Leslie on May 13, 2009
OH. MY. GOD.

Ali, this is horrible! I am so sorry. What would drive a person to do that? I mean, they know you know you were there!

But your husband is right, sweetie, he is.

ACK! I am SO MAD for you!
Comment by mrs. chicken on May 13, 2009
Holy fuck! There are some real assholes out there, and I’m sorry one had to work his/her asshole-ness on you. You can never know who the jerks are, and I hope this experience doesn’t destroy your faith…
‘Cause as you know, there are many awesome people out there — you married one of them. 🙂

ps – I too am awesome. xo
Comment by Nenette on May 13, 2009
I am shocked every single time by humanity bad and good. Then something wonderful and I am reminded that most of humanity is good, weeding out the bad is the hard part.

Don’t lose faith there is alot of good people out there, it is just sad that people you trust and know would do this to you.

I imagine the person that did this has real problems, bigger than just stealing from a friend. There is something seriously wrong with someone that steals. In ANY FORM.
Comment by The Bossy Yankee on May 13, 2009
I am curious did you tell the hostess and anyone else at the party?

Do you or did you call the police in this situation?
Comment by The Bossy Yankee on May 13, 2009
OH MY GOD ALI. I’m enraged on your behalf!
Comment by slynnro on May 13, 2009
I am so sorry to here this! I totally get that it’s more than the money ~ makes it suck even more …

carla K.s last blog post..Integrity & This Weeks EnCouraging Bliss
Comment by carla K. on May 13, 2009
I’d call the hostess and all the other guests, merely from politeness, you understand, and let them know that you are calling the police, who will doubtless be round to talk to them all. I wonder if anyone will ‘realise’ that they ‘accidentally’ picked up the wrong cash….

Yes, I know it would be a lie, but a face-saving one.

Still some trust lost and friendships down the pan, but at least you’d have the cash. What kind of b*tch would DO that though?
Comment by Mrs F with 4 on May 13, 2009
Holy fuck! I can’t believe that someone would have the gall to pull some pathetic shit like that. I can’t say I blame you for having a darker outlook on the world. Keep your head up, and know that karma was kick her ass with boot-imprinting force.
(On an unrelated note, what the hell is up with everyone I find awesome moving to Atlanta just as I’m leaving?! Not okay.)
Comment by MonsteRawr on May 13, 2009
that’s absolutely crazy. you always think you can trust your nearest & dearest friends.

i would have been totally upset too. it’s going to be very tricky now when you find out who actually took it.
Comment by Bronnie on May 13, 2009
byut still.. omg, that is fucking HIDEOUS and bullshit and WHO THE HELL DOES THAT?!??! is your best friend mortified or what??? OMG, i would be livid and SO MANY DAMN THINGS

jennsters last blog post..and he starts losing faith
Comment by jennster on May 13, 2009
Wha?! Really? Seriously? Are you kidding me? Tatiana hit it right on the nose—-freakin’ donkeypunch. Unfreakin’believable! Well….clearly not a friend.
Comment by April on May 13, 2009
That is just awful. My heart breaks for you. Its sick to think that a “friend” did this. Your husband is a sweetheart, listen to him. Best wishes.
Comment by J from Ireland on May 13, 2009
Oh My God, that SUUUUCKS! It’s true that there are good people out there, but that doens’t take away the fact that there are also some real fuckers.
Comment by Gina on May 13, 2009
gawd people SUUUUUCK. argh
Comment by Jen on May 13, 2009
that fucking sucks ali.
wow.

Christines last blog post..All The Small Things
Comment by Christine on May 13, 2009
Oh man, that’s terrible.

Rubys last blog post..Small update.
Comment by Ruby on May 14, 2009
Maybe the person really needs the money? I mean, it doesn’t make it right, but maybe they really needed the money to pay their mortgage or something. I had my wallet stolen from my purse at work once and a coworker suggested that to me. It doesn’t get your money back and it doesn’t justify the theft, but maybe it was just really needed by that person more than you needed it.

Or maybe the person is just a giant fucking asshat.
Comment by regan on May 14, 2009
Wow. That’s just a thousand shades of wrong. People suck sometimes.
Comment by Chris on May 14, 2009
That sucks. That truly sucks.

How could people do that?
Comment by Multi-Tasking Mommy on May 14, 2009
Unbelievable.

I just pray this was someone who was terribly desperate, someone who couldn’t turn to anyone. I mean, why not take it all, you know? How strange and sucky and awful.

Your husband rocks, though. I can keep believing in humanity with people like you and him around, you know? And so can you.

So sorry. 🙁
Comment by maggie, dammit on May 14, 2009
… Oh, Ali. I miss a single day reading your site and this happens! I’m just so… I just. God. I don’t have any words. Sorry and upset don’t begin to cover it.
Comment by becca on May 14, 2009
That totally sucks. Like Maggie, dammit said, I hope that it was someone who desperately needed that money – so much so that if they had simply asked you, you would have been moved to tears and given it to them with an open heart. That said, now I just want to break my shoe off in their ass.
Comment by anne nahm on May 14, 2009
Oh my gosh, Ali. What the hell is wrong with people? I am so sorry.

Diannas last blog post..Officially a College Graduate
Comment by Dianna on May 14, 2009
Talk about feeling violated and hurt.

I’m with Maggie. I think that is the only way I could maybe get through it-to think that someone had to be desperate enough to violate a relationship and trust like that.

But still…

Ugh.

xoxoxox
Comment by Loralee on May 14, 2009
Oh honey. I feel sick for you. That is beyond despicable.

I’m so sorry you have to feel this way. It’s more than losing the money, I know. It’s losing the trust you had in people you know.

I wish I lived closer and I’d take you out and buy you a beer.
Comment by Redneck Mommy on May 14, 2009
That is just totally sucktastic to the ninth degree.

I hope you told the hostess, chances are you are not the only victim.

I once had $200 stolen from my wallet while I was at work amongst what I THOUGHT were friends. $200 isnt that much unless you are 18 and living in 6K a year
Comment by fidget on May 14, 2009
Absolutely sickened on your behalf. And you’re right, it’s about so much more than the money.

TrenchesofMommyhoods last blog post..No Child Left Behind?
Comment by TrenchesofMommyhood on May 14, 2009
Oh no, that is horrible. I’m sorry and hope the thief uses the money to hire a prostitute who gives her or him a terrible STD.
Comment by kimblahg on May 14, 2009
OK, so I just want to hug you right now. And play Clue to figure out exactly who stole your wad of cash, because hi, lamest person on the planet.
Comment by Kerri Anne on May 14, 2009
I can’t imagine who would be so desperate that they would violate your trust like that. I’m sorry.
Comment by Moose on May 15, 2009
I hate sucky people.

Loris last blog post..From the Mouths of Husbands
Comment by Lori on May 15, 2009
[…] an endless supply of Tic Tacs, I forgot about the emotional effect it could have. Once upon a time I had $1,000 stolen from me from someone I know and that violating feeling? It never really leaves you. As I said back then and […]
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