June 15 11

It seems that Jude Law and the homeless man who shouts expletives on Queen Street and the mannequins at the Gap all have something in common this summer and it’s not something I can get behind, which is upsetting for me because behind Jude Law is a place I’d typically line up to be.

Yes, I know. Say what you will about receding hairlines and chest hair and nannies, but Jude Law will forever be Dickie Greenleaf for me. And it’s funny, that, because right now I am reading this (624 page!!) book called The Invisible Bridge on the subway and I swear, even though the main character is a Hungarian Jew who is new to 1939 Paris, I swear to you that its protagonist, who I can call nothing but Anders, even though his name is totally not Anders, is the talented Mr. Ripley and he spends his first night in Paris on the couch of a lovely party boy who IS JUDE LAW IN MY HEAD. I hope they never make a movie out of this because they’ll probably cast someone like Robert Pattinson in it and it will totally ruin it for me forever.

But back to the subject at hand: THE MANPRI.

They are pants that think they are shorts! They are shorts that think they are pants!

Why is this even happening? Are shorts really *that* short? Are pants really *that* long?

There is nothing un-Kevin Federline about this.

Oh sexy ankles! (said in my very best Long Duck Dong, of course)

The only thing that could possibly be worse are WHITE LINEN MANPRIS and I am absolutely terrified to even google it on account of the possible nightmares. Remember kids: friends don’t let friends wear manpris unless they are doing something where ankle exposure is super important, like, um, pedicures?



  1. To my mind, the “Mandals” make this photo a double whammy. This would be like a car wreck to me — wanting not to see but being unable to look away.

    I have to go wash my eyes now.

    Comment by Sharyn on June 15, 2011
  2. Wow, I don’t know what to say. Actually, I do. That is the ugliest man-fasion I’ve seen in a long time. I don’t know ANY guy who looked at a woman wearing capris, and thought, “I wish they made capris for men!” Yuk.

    Comment by Angela@BeggingTheAnswer on June 15, 2011
  3. Ok, NO. No no no no no NO. Cargo shorts is the extent I will go, or I’ll wear pants. I have nice legs, I work hard for that, I’m not going to cover them! I think to wear these would make me go mental, I would just feel like I was wearing pants that shrunk and no longer fit. Shorts and flops, end of story.

    Actually though, these have been around for a while, and all they did was raise the crotch and remove skateboard logos.

    Comment by Hockeymandad on June 15, 2011
  4. This is just not a good look for any man. Although, it’s not as bad as the too short, shorts I occasionally see on guys.

    Comment by Danielle on June 15, 2011
  5. NO! How ugly! I’m in the South and so glad I haven’t seen that around here yet. Although it would look very strange on the working men around here sporting overalls!


    Comment by Melanie on June 15, 2011
  6. This is terrible. I don’t think capris even look that great on most women. They’re one of the most confused pieces of clothing ever. If my husband ever came home with these things, I would have to burn them. And then find some counseling for him, because something is obviously horribly wrong.

    Comment by Jessica on June 15, 2011
  7. Actually, I’m going to disagree with this one. Sure, I don’t think I’ll see my husband sporting a pair anytime soon, but they don’t bother me. I’m not seeing any ass cheek or nut sack. Hell, if a man wants to let his ankles breath, who am I to hate?

    Comment by MonsteRawr on June 15, 2011
  8. Of course I had to Google “white linen manpris.”


    Comment by Pieces of a Sometimes Extraordinary Life on June 15, 2011
  9. Ha..I am cringing right now…back in 2002 my then b/f (now husband) and I took a trip to Italy and all the men there were wearing them…and somehow being in Rome and Capri and Venice it seemed so right, so fitting…so he bought a pair and fit right in with the locals…as soon as we landed back in Toronto those things were never seen again…got rid of them right away!!!!

    Comment by Charmedone17 on June 15, 2011
  10. Yes. They are super European!

    Comment by alimartell on June 15, 2011
  11. Super European or not, those are a no-go. Say no to the manpris, men. Grow up, and wear cargo shorts…like me.

    Comment by Karl on June 15, 2011
  12. I honestly think that I would laugh out loud if I saw these on someone. So very, very wrong.

    Comment by Angella on June 15, 2011
  13. I like them. What can I say? I also love Europe, so maybe that’s the connection?

    Comment by Heather on June 15, 2011
  14. Well all I can say is that at least they took it and went all the way by wearing the manpris with flip flops. Now all he needs is a bucket to carry the shells he’s been digging up on the beach and is good to go.

    Comment by Sharon on June 15, 2011
  15. Or the DOUCHEY V-NECK.

    Comment by alimartell on June 15, 2011
  16. I hate them. HATE. Ugh…ly. I saw a guy wearing them in a parking lot and pointed him out to my sons. I made a snarky comment, which was totally inappropriate and bad-motherish… but honestly, I think it was a horror reflex.

    Comment by Pam @writewrds on June 15, 2011
  17. I take it all back.

    Yesterday afternoon, I saw a ah… terrific example of how and why manpris can work. Truth is… it has everything to do with who is inside em.
    I saw the ideal manpris man — in the produce department at Loblaws. Looked delectable.

    Comment by Pam @writewrds on June 16, 2011
  18. Meh. I still call shenanigans on them. No matter how cute the butt is. I mean…look at Jude Law..

    Comment by alimartell on June 16, 2011
  19. I don’t get it. Although, I guess I don’t understand them for women either, but I wear them frequently because I can’t find shorts I like and long pants + summer = SWEATY!

    But I do love a man in flip flops.

    Comment by Kristabella on June 15, 2011
  20. I actually think that short pants look ridiculous on most people. It takes a very specific body type to pull off capri’s (at least 5’10”, skinny), or manpri’s (European). I think one should avoid both at all costs, unless you’re a tall, skinny, European…in which case, go forth and –pri.


    Comment by heidikins on June 15, 2011
  21. Um…no…just…no…

    Comment by LibraryGirl62 on June 15, 2011
  22. […] fact, I have told you before how I feel about capes and ponchos. I have raged against the manpri. I have begged you to never wear leggings as pants. And I have no shame when it comes to snapping a […]

    Pingback by » I Probably Should Stop Trying To Make Jorts Happen. Cheaper Than Therapy on July 5, 2011
  23. I have been trying to figure out if I should sport a a pair of man-pris. I think now I will if I can ever find a pair but not like the ones shown. Those are most certainly ugly. I have board shorts that are close to that baggy and I hate them.
    I am 6’0, thin build, strong jaw line, and have always enjoyed European mens fashion. To have a fitted look instead of looking like a block is nice. U.S. men only look like squares. Lots of squares walking down Wall Street. EVERYONE glances at the man with the fitted suit. It looks good on him. Every man wants to know who his tailor and if they could pull that look off as well. Same with man-pris sweats. They are perfect for so much except working at a 9-5 and construction. I think being practical puts man-pris in the proper place.
    I also don’t like shorts because I wear boxers and sometimes moving wrong displays what should only be displayed for your wife.

    …. I JUST CAN’T FIND ANY MAN-PRIS. I really want sweats because I think they are perfect for running.

    Comment by Joseph on March 27, 2013

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