So here’s something interesting.

Yesterday evening, we crossed the Canada/United States border with two eagerslashanxious girls. Our destination was a community center in Ann Arbor, Michigan where the two soon-to-be sixth graders would grab the bus that would take them—for the very first time—to overnight camp in Waupaca, Wisconsin.

(Overnight camp? Sleepover camp? Sleepaway camp?)

Because we were driving another person’s child, we had procured all the appropriate paperwork to make this as smooth a process as possible. Notes from the camp saying she is signed up to go there, a notarized letter from her parents assuring that we were supposed to have her in our vehicle. When we got to the border, the agent opened the back seat, said hi to the kids, took a gander at their smiling-but-not-smiling passport (mug)shots and sent us on our merry way.

This morning, after we dropped off the girls, we made a pitstop at the friendliest Dunkin Donuts on each and at the friendliest Target on earth and bought the necessities—Chocolate Chex, medicated chapstick, mint M&Ms, wasabi & soy sauce almonds, sparkle shoes for Isabella, individual peanut butter containers. We knew that we were outside of the country for exactly less then 24 hours, which allowed us an un-taxable allowance of NOTHING. So, we pulled up to the border with receipts in hand, hoping to pay our duty quickly in order to make it back to Toronto for Miss Isabella’s end-of-musical-theater-camp dance recital.

“Excuse me Ma’am, do you have any idea how much you are allowed to bring across the border?”

“$50? $0? Small children who aren’t my own?”

And then he handed our asses to us. For about half an hour. All we wanted to do was pay our tax—with pleasure.

Instead, he guilted me into wanting to tell him my entire life story.

Like:

Dunkin Donuts coffee tastes like…America!

I still think *most* someecards shared on Facebook are funny; Inspirational quotes, however, need to be shot in the ear and be erased from existence.

My sister-in-law had her fourth baby girl Emma Grace Avonlea this morning and just look at my gaggle of gorgeous nieces!

(Photo credit: Rachel Pitt, who is sort of, kind of already family.)

Brian Krakow was one of the most awkward television characters!

I am a fan of inexpensive beach cover-ups!

I burned my chin with a curling iron!

He should be careful what he asks for.

I probably need to add the following to my Twitter bio: Oversharing at the border since 1997. Also, may be available to smuggle small children into the United States of America.