you guys all know Metalia, right? Well, not only is she a good friend online and in real life, but she’s a fellow member of the tribe and sends me hilarious things like Ashley Madison for Jews sites where unhappily married people like Shprintzagrl look for screwing partners who “have long curly peyos tucked behind their ears and wear large tzitzit and are large in other areas as well. wink wink” EW. yes, I was uncomfortable reading it too. but, alas, could not bring myself to turn away.

anyway, the point. yes. it was here somewhere..

Oh! Yesterday, Metalia, like the great Michael Ian Black before her, came up with her very own F*ck It List. as in, the ANTI bucket list. As in the

Things I DO NOT need to do before I die:

Swim with sharks
Wear spanx
Drink tea
Watch an episode of 24
Finish reading The English Patient
Backpack through Europe
Go on a cruise
Eat olives. Or seafood. Or fondue. or fruit salad.
Bungee jump
Climb anything for fun
Learn to surf. Swim in the ocean.
Go clubbing and dance in public
See another Shia LaBeouf movie
Grow a vegetable garden; or do any kind of gardening actually
Learn to change a tire
Stay overnight at an ice hotel.
Get anything pierced other than my ears; get a tramp stamp.
Learn to play the guitar
Learn another language
Play World of Warcraft
Wear anything that has been bedazzled. Or wear mom jeans.
Get a pedicure. Or a fake tan.
Buy a snuggie
Go to a Nickelback concert
Enter an eating contest
Have sex on the beach. or drink a sex on the beach.
Cut carbs
Buy the world a coke.

and one more for good measure:

Make an actual bucket list.

in other news…i now, thanks to the wonderfully patient and wonderfully talented dasBecca, have my very own review site. see the new badge in my sidebar? Well, you can click over to my review site…that has NO reviews on it yet. TA-DA! awesome, i know. but, it’s there. and now you know about it. and knowing is half the battle. GI JOE taught me that.