When you live in the suburbs and you have a job that allows you to mostly park your behind on your couch, sometimes you forget about your love/hate relationship with trekking downtown.

LOVE = people watching on the subway

HATE = people watching on the subway, when people bring THE CRAZY. There’s a fine line between me wondering where you got your jeans and between me wondering when you are going to stop farting in my face. There’s a fine line between wearing a smurf costume and between wearing an Albert Einstein/clown getup and flossing your teeth. There’s a fine line between carrying an instrument with you and between playing the bongos and singing God Bless America at the top of your lungs.

LOVE = getting off the subway at Dundas Square.

HATE = getting off the subway at Dundas Square and having a homeless man mutter something at you under his breath and then cough up a lung in your general direction, probably giving you tuberculosis or some such malady. I’m not 100% sure, but it may have been Charlie Sheen. He was probably taking his drug of choice, it’s called Charlie Sheen. I fully expect for my face to melt off sometime this afternoon.

LOVE = The Eaton Centre

HATE = Getting lost in the Eaton Centre trying to find one of the (at least) three Starbucks so you can partake in the free wi-fi.

LOVE = Finally finding a Starbucks.

HATE = Finally finding a Starbucks only to realize you are sitting beside three people involved in a very heated discussion about their sexy cats and which breeds of cats are the sexiest. Also, paying $5 for a latte. Free wi-fi my ass.

LOVE = Getting to see Billy Elliot on opening night in Toronto. Getting to see Elton John and hang out with the Furnish parents while we waited for the show to start. Getting to be blown away by a fabulous production. Getting to watch all four Billys perform at the end….and getting to see Sir Elton get on stage sporting a tutu.

HATE = Getting to do all of this but forgetting that March 1st in Toronto is FLIPPING FREEZING and instead of wearing a nice peacoat and heels, I had to wear my giant parka and my winter boots.