August 23 09

I kind of stay away from blogs (seriously…why do I loathe that word so much…blawg. the way my non-bloggy friends use it like it’s a nasty word…”hey, Ali, are you going to put this on your blaaaaawwwwwwwg?”) that tend to be whiney whiney whine whine and steer more towards the sites that either make me laugh or make me think. So, because of this, I will not go into specifics of my week from total hell which involved such things as two vomity plagues and a kidney-failured grammy and the whole I-don’t-get-paid-if-I-can’t-work thing coming into full fruition and an out-of-town husband and a day with my children that had me googling military schools. No, really, you don’t need to hear about it. You probably already saw shades of it on twitter…which, you know, had many people  – who I totally don’t deserve to have as friends – email and text and IM and DM to make sure I was alive okay. like this lovely person in particular, who while waiting too patiently for me to get my shit together to make book on a promise about, erm, a book, instead of being annoyed with me sent me probably one of the nicest emails I have ever gotten and it made me smile almost as much as the gift my dad got me on friday – the gift of an anti-emetic suppository which pretty much saved my life (I know, gross. sorry)

So, hrm, so, we’ll look for some fluffy, shall we?

We can talk about how I only dream in infomercials now because every damn night I fall asleep watching The Food Network and at some point during the night (4am, fyi) it switches from all of its deliciousness to paid programs about teaching babies to read or colon cleansers or the Back2Life machine or Snuggies for kids (and pets!) or fucking bendaroos. Seriously, this is what I dream about…teaching my unborn babies to point to their heads as I gleefully hold up a flashcard with the word HEAD clearly printed on it. shudder. these, friends, are called nightmares.


We can talk about Josh’s first big hit at his baseball game today and his first time crossing home plate and seriously, the excitement on the face of the boy who only knows how to play hockey as he realized that hey…he actually likes this whole little league thing and the practicing is actually paying off and seriously, I was squeeing so hard on the inside for him. Because this is what I wanted this year. To find what he likes, to foster it, to encourage it, and to cheer him on. It really isn’t too late. And one day he may forgive me for showing up to his practice wearing my pajamas, because, you know, pants are for chumps…or for moms without the damn stomach flu. And one day he might forgive me for laughing every day time he puts that cup on and for never being able to find both of his baseball socks.

We can talk about how I finally saw Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist and after listening pretty much nonstop to the soundtrack for a very, very, very long time I thought I was going to hate the movie because seriously how effing typecast is Michael Cera but I really ended up loving the whole damn thing except for the whole girl-sticking-her-hands-in-the-toilet-she-just-hurled-in-to-get-her-gum scene. REALLY? I mean, goddamn it, Violet Beauregarde is a champion gum chewer but I will bet my hands on the fact that she would have just let. the. gum. go.

We can talk about the seasons 1 and 2 of Mad Men that my dad just bought. I am SO excited to start watching this show.

We can talk about how I am totally eating bread again. because we all knew that wouldn’t last long at all. because, hello, people, I am in the south….the land of big, frizzy hair and the real housewives of atlanta and BISCUITS. and also, while we are talking about the south, I seriously thought that Slynnro’s husband Mr. A was totally just drunk when he went on for about 4o minutes discussing chicken and waffles and even after Slynnro assured me that yes, chicken and waffles really is a thing, I still didn’t believe her. but now…I know better. It’s real. It’s as real as Sweet Tea and jello salads. and biscuits.


And lastly, we can talk about this purchase…


that we bought for the boy. for his birthday. In November. It’s currently sitting in the box on the dining room table. Every time Josh walks by it, he rubs his hands together in total glee and excitement and delight and all that jazz. I don’t think I have ever seen him this excited about anything. I really, truly, honestly think he thinks this game is real. I think he’s really going to be expecting there to be outer space and zorgons and maybe, possibly his future self as an astronaut, and meteor showers. My god, maybe I shouldn’t tell him that I’m trying to find him the Jumanji game too. That’ll just completely blow the child’s mind.

  1. That is the same infomercial I saw when we were in London, in the scary hotel, I thought I was having a nightmare, now I find its BUMP iTs! Bump your pony or you bangs!

    I figure if your drunk enough to find the porcelain god, then your not drunk enough to go fishing in it, she was only drunk, it wasn’t like Trainspotting when he was looking for his methadone pills, truly making him EWAN & whacked outta his mind!

    Seriously your hair is still not as frizzy as when I pass the provincial BC border, I have the literal rats nest! If you find some product that works inform me, I still thinks its the hairdryer!
    .-= NaomiJesson´s last blog ..Single Parenting =-.

    Comment by NaomiJesson on August 23, 2009
  2. Any time anyone mentions they have stopped eating bread I shake my head in disbelief. How can anyone not eat bread? I mean, not eat bread and still enjoy life…

    Glad to see you came to your senses…

    Comment by Libby on August 23, 2009
  3. Mad Men is THE AWESOME. And also slightly infuriating, but that’s half of the appeal.


    Comment by Kaleigha on August 24, 2009
  4. Michael Cera is typecast, but he’s so damn good in that role! Haven’t seen Nick and Norah yet, but I think I’ll download the soundtrack and give it a listen. I can listen to the Juno soundtrack over and over again, especially the song that Cera and Ellen Page sing.

    Comment by Avitable on August 24, 2009
  5. Score one for Josh and his little league mom. Soon you’ll be screaming at him to take out the ump at the knees with his bat, and maybe even have big hairsprayed hair too.

    Comment by SciFi Dad on August 24, 2009
  6. I watched Big Brother right before I went to bed last night and I dreamt that I was dating Jeff from the show. It was a good dream. I didn’t want to wake up.

    Comment by Kristabella on August 24, 2009
  7. Oh, how I want to see Mad Men!! I’m late th e party, but I’ve heard nothing but good things.

    Comment by Angella on August 24, 2009
  8. Oh you poor thing. I’m really glad you’re back to eating bread. It’s worth it.

    Comment by Nic on August 24, 2009
  9. I just started recording this season of Mad Men even though I’ve never seen a previous season in hopes that a coworker will let me borrow his box sets soon. That might save me from playing Zathura, which we bought for our boys a couple summers ago after seeing the movie. Sometimes, after we’ve been playing awhile, I wish it were real and I was on a space ship out of there.

    Glad you’re feeling better. I hope there’s some of that that can be credited to the healing power of bread.
    .-= fadkog´s last blog you remember when, yeah, we used to sing… =-.

    Comment by fadkog on August 24, 2009
  10. Nick and Norah’s was amazing. Loved it!

    Sorry you were SO SICK! Didn’t even know. I can’t keep up!

    And “hey, Ali, are you going to put this on your blaaaaawwwwwwwg” — I totally, TOTALLY, relate. They love to say it, too, don’t they…. UGH

    Comment by Haley-O on August 25, 2009
  11. “pants are for chumps” is exactly the laugh I needed tonight!
    .-= amy2boys´s last blog ..Shark Bites – Back to School Edition =-.

    Comment by amy2boys on August 25, 2009

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