I Really Want Some Bacon Right Now. Only I Don’t Actually Eat Bacon Because I am Jewish So I Have To Eat Turkey Bacon. Or that kind of shitty fake-in stuff that really only just smells like bacon but kind of tastes like cardboard, unless, of course, you put it inside of a sandwich and then it’s eatable. Or edible.

Either way, click over here to win a $100 VISA gift card.

I know you won’t, though, because some people are hesitant to click over and even more hesitant to enter contests. Why is that, I wonder. Even when I email my actual real life friends and tell them that there’s a super great contest that they should enter and all they have to do is leave a comment…THEY STILL DON’T.

GO ON, CLICK.

I dare you.