Britney’s snatch is becoming more popular than “checking the poo” on Scrubs. yes, yes, we know that sometimes i go out commando. and i did, on one occasion flash an unsuspecting rabbi in the parking lot at the library. but i assure you, i AM a lady. i know how to close my legs. someone needs to teach Britney so we don’t have to bleed from our eyes when we see this. (NOT safe for work, folks)

Mary Kate Olsen scares me. i’m sure i will nightmares tonight.

so does this stroller:

who watched Heroes? anyone find the coupling of Mohinder Suresh and Matt Parkman to be the most interesting couple on this show? much more interesting than Clare and her Superboy wannabe…or certainly more interesting than Peter Petrelli and his Irish lady (because y’all? seriously? i won’t like anyone with my Peter…)

America’s Next Top Model? i heart makeover week. Bianca goes bald and looks stunningly beautiful. Saleisha goes “high fashion” which in Tyraspeak really means “tootie”  = =

  =

Bald Bianca = HOT

The Bachelor? Solisa wears her special parts on the outside. i think that means she has big labia.

Friday Night Lights? where to even start. i so heart this show. i heart everyone on the show. well, except for Mrs. Coach (who knew her name was Tami?) because she’s just annoying, really. Landry and “the Seracin”‘s conversation about WWRD…what would Riggins do….was perfection. because Riggins wouldn’t be worried about his girlfriend flirting the “the swede” (who, ps, looks no more swede than your truly) because Riggins is the captain of the SS Tatas. and boy is he ever…much to Lyla’s dismay. yes, she’s accepted Jesus Christ as her lord and savior…but she has not learned that YES, mothers of three CAN wear skinny jeans. damnit.

Survivor? boring. as. hell. except maybe Denise and the “delicatest” meal. the special effects?!!? what the hell? and Courtney needs a sandwich. i’m underwhelmed by everyone. i hope this season gets better.

Grey’s Anatomy? I heart Cristina the surgery stealer with all her fake sadness. also…she stole the show with her “what’s the matter? couldn’t find his LVAD wire?” line. badass. Bailey is a sock-rocker. love. she’s the best #2 ever. Alex. shit. i don’t know whether to hate him or to love him. sigh. i miss Addison.

The Office? That was weird…and almost painful to watch…however, i did enjoy the bouncing DVD opening. That’s so something that would happen at my office. I also did enjoy the club called Chatroom and the password that was actually “password”. and Michael calling Angela “booster seat” was pretty great too. oh, and Jim signing Meredith’s underwear cast.

okay…i’ve talked, on numerous occasions, how i’m incapable of doing a simple word verification…and you all probably think i’m insane…but here’s a question for you….while on urbanmoms today…i got smacked with this:

anyone want to take a stab? before i stab someone in the throat… surely there’s another way to prove i’m not a spambot or what have you…right? there must be!!

i’m sending my kids to a new school this year. which means….new school, new carpool, new teachers, new friends, new moms. it’s all new for us. i’m really happy about the switch. it took exactly one minute of me being inside that building for me to know. the school is perfect. and it screams academic excellence (and i’m a big ole’ nerd like that).

it was a big deal when i decided to switch them from their previous, more religious school, to this new one. friends took it personally, actually got angry. but this is what’s best for my family. where i can be myself (remember when i got ripped a new one in the parking lot for daring to wear pants at pickup??!). where my kids can be themselves and be around other kids who are, well, more like them.

tonight i have to take Emily to this first grade (oh, excuse me, grade one) parent-child bbq thing. She’s all excited about it, already, at 6:15 this morning, picking out her outfit and how she wants to wear her hair.

I, on the other hand, am freaking out. you’d think that i was the one starting a new school. it’s all about me, folks. my kid? she’s easy. everyone like Emily. i sent her to a new camp and she made 100 best friends instantly. she talks to her counselors, high school kids, on the phone, on a regular basis (no, i’m not kidding. she’s actually FRIENDS with her counselors). she’s going to do GREAT. but me? what if the other moms don’t like me? what if we have no one to sit with? what if i’m not wearing the right thing? what if i don’t know what to say?

i guess at the very worst, i know that Emily will be my friend.