1. I’m an Excellent Driver
    I won’t deny it, I am a wee bit of a rubbernecker. Yes, I know I shouldn’t do this, but, you know, I shouldn’t watch the Bachelor either…and you know how well *that* one works out for me. When I see giant backups on the highway, I am ever-so-thankful that the accident wasn’t mine. I did [...]
    Filed in the self mock | 13-Mar-10 | no comments
  2. I Guess I’m…A Bad Nut?
    Squirrels in Canada Ontario Toronto are black. I realize this is not earth shattering news. But let me just tell you that when you are American and you are used to the garden variety gray ones (you know, the ones who are actually afraid of people), when you are fairly new to the great white [...]
    Filed in Aiming Low, the self mock | 08-Feb-10 | 33 comments
  3. I’m not sure I completed one entire thought in this post. But, at least the payoff pictures at the end are good. oh yes, they really are.
    We’ve gotten a little bit of a Farmer Joe’s Hot Day taste around here. No? Really? No? The story of the dude who complains that it’s too hot to do all of his farm work and his brilliant wife tells him to put on more layers and then when he’s all bundled up in a [...]
    Filed in parenting sure is fun, the self mock | 03-Jan-10 | 22 comments
  4. Redrum. and other things that scare me.
    The husband has taken 4 two-week trips to Toronto since August. If you are home doing the math at home, he is in Toronto roughly 50% of the time. And, as I predicted, the bad shit always seems to happen during that 50%…you know, ranging from the light bulbs going and the batteries in the [...]
    Filed in the self mock | 17-Nov-09 | 13 comments
  5. Today.
    I am nursing the second cold I have been plagued with in the past 4 weeks with tylenol cold & sinus and trough-fulls of the Tim Horton’s coffee I hauled back from NYC. I am lying in bed nursing my plagued laptop and watching last night’s season finale of Mad Men. For the third time. [...]
    Filed in the old school ali, the self mock | 09-Nov-09 | 30 comments
  6. Incidents. the corn dog one. and the accidental nudity one.
    Josh lost two teeth in the same day. He is now toothless and lisping, but also ten dollars richer. The first one popped out due to a certain corn dog incident and the second was just a ploy to keep us home because he was all anti-babysitter that night. unfortunately for him, extra holes in his [...]
    Filed in The Boy, the self mock | 07-Sep-09 | 16 comments
  7. I’d be all the rage at bayside high.
    It’s official. I am the only person on earth who doesn’t have a smartphone. My mother – the woman who is the president of a giant company but does not know how to open an email attachment – called to let me know that she is officially the proud owner of her very own iphone. [...]
    Filed in the blogher, the self mock | 03-Jul-09 | 14 comments
  8. I have the flu. so you finally get to see THE FLANNEL.
    Nothing says happy friday like a lovely case of the swine flu. Oh yes, it started last night while watching the news about Michael Jackson, which, sadly, had me thinking…he sure stole Farrah Fawcett’s thunder, eh? At first I thought it was just my mind messing with me/moveanxiety because we are moving in 17 days (oh [...]
    Filed in the McMoms, the old school ali, the self mock | 26-Jun-09 | 19 comments
  9. things to learn to do.
    Sometimes I delude myself into thinking that I know what I’m doing when it comes to my website. I’m all, “Self! wow! that button that says you are going to blogher is actually from blogher ‘08. Maybe it’s time to take that down.” which, naturally, I convince myself is an easy task. I mean, really, [...]
    Filed in the self mock | 18-Jun-09 | 29 comments
  10. I know you are still waiting for the oversized flannel…BUT! I give you bad bangs and farmer’s tan instead!
    I have been toying with the idea of dying my hair brown. or, you might say, returning to my natural hair color…whatever that might be. I have been highlighting my hair for so long (*sigh* my friends and I started experimenting with do-it-yourself hair color in high school…and I will never forgive myself for testing [...]
    Filed in the old school ali, the self mock | 09-Jun-09 | 45 comments
  11. and for my next act: ali does oversized flannel
    Heather (and Mike too!) needs your love today (technically yesterday, but written last night, yo). She needs it every day; but today especially. It’s been one month since Maddie’s passing. Of course, there are many ways to give Heather some love today. emails, tweets, candy. Or you can head on over here and bid away [...]
    Filed in The Friends, the self mock | 08-May-09 | 20 comments
  12. at least i don’t look like Joaquin Phoenix…
    okay, so, here’s the thing. i have good hair. don’t try to tell me that i don’t because i will cut you. but just because i have good hair doesn’t mean that it and i don’t have a somewhat sordid history… like the years i rocked the crooked bang… and then the years i rocked the Eskimo-bang. [...]
    Filed in the self mock | 12-Feb-09 | 55 comments
  13. it’s official.THE most embarrassing story.
    i should be telling you about how on the day i left for my three days in the city, Isabella had a three-drawer chest fall on her AND Emily dropped what may-or-may-not have been real diamond earring down the bathtub drain AND i dropped my favorite eye shadow (all that glitters by MAC. love) on [...]
    Filed in the self mock | 21-Jan-09 | 46 comments
  14. self mock. again. #932
    i wish i could tell you about the great, great time we had at buskerfest this weekend. where my kids got balloon animals and got to milk pretend cows and were more amazed by the Fire Guy’s ability to blow up balloons with his nose than his ability to skateboard through a flaming star. i wish [...]
    Filed in the self mock | 25-Aug-08 | 31 comments