1. that’s what she said, i don’t like boats, and i have problems
    a conversation: Isabella, almost 3, regarding her watermelon: Wow! This is REALLY big! Emily, 7: That’s what she said. ahem. mother of the year, folks. mother of the year. have i ever told you about my fear of boats? Whoa. Hold it. We gotta take a boat? Yes, sir. To get to the other side of the bay. Nobody said [...]
    Filed in The Family, the girl behind the screen, the mouths of babes | 07-Jul-08 | 37 comments
  2. of George and Georgia…again, something i couldn’t even make up…
    Josh: “mommy…whose picture is on that money?” me: “George Washington is on the $1 bill” Josh: “Who’s he?” me: “he was the first president of the United States, hon” (ali kicks herself. must. move. back. to. the. states.) Emily: “huh…i always thought George Clooney was on the dollar bill…” i swear to god. i about died. how does my 7-year-old [...]
    Filed in The Girl, the mouths of babes | 23-Apr-08 | 32 comments
  3. a whole bunch of unrelated things. it’s how i’m rolling today.
    have any of you ever taken your empties back to MAC? i finished an eye shadow this morning and it was about to go under my bathroom counter to go and live with the 85,000 empty lipsticks, shadows, blushes i’ve been keeping and have never taken back (or thrown away either. hi, i’m ali. [...]
    Filed in The Boy, the Deep Thoughts, the mouths of babes | 02-Apr-08 | 21 comments
  4. a diaper free zone…also, ali is irresponsible
    “mommy, you have boobies!” “yes, Isabella. we pretty much cover this every morning. it doesn’t change. well, except when i’m pregnant” “i don’t have boobies” “no, still don’t” “also..i don’t have a crocodile in my mouth.” “no? well, that’s good to hear” “but he says ‘hey dude!’ like that” “interesting” “but he’s not in my mouth. he’s in the water.” “are you done [...]
    Filed in The Snark, the mouths of babes | 11-Jan-08 | 38 comments
  5. i love cheese, not boobs
    when i ask Isabella to smile for the camera, she always does the same thing. she says, “i love cheese!” which is her version of saying cheese. and then she does this: every single time i haul out the camera. Last night, however, while we were Hanukah/Hannukah/Chanukah’ing (choose your own spelling because i’ve totally given up) it [...]
    Filed in The Baby, the mouths of babes | 05-Dec-07 | 18 comments
  6. kicking heiney and some housekeeping
    heard last night while playing the new star wars lego game on xbox: “Wahoo! Mommy, i just kicked the bad guy’s ass!” “Joshua! We don’t use words like that.” “oh, sorry…i just kicked the guy’s ass!” bah-dum-dum. he sure showed me. showed me that i need to teach my son to use the word bum. or bum bum. or tooshie. [...]
    Filed in the Deep Thoughts, the mouths of babes | 13-Nov-07 | 30 comments
  7. dude, i LOVE holiday weekends…
    heard in my house yesterday: Josh: Wanna know something weird? My knee-pit stinks! we are so proud. mostly because he actually used a sentence. as opposed to when we were at the superstore yesterday…when he grabbed his ass and said “poo!” all caveman-like again…. [my gawd, have you seen their new Joe clothes for kids?? to. die. for. i [...]
    Filed in The Family, the mouths of babes | 03-Sep-07 | 23 comments
  8. things heard
    thing #1: “mommy! mommy! i awake. and i flyin’ mommy? you dere mommy? i flyin’ i flyin!” so, i went into her room. she wasn’t kidding. there she was on, on her stomach, with both her legs and her arms waving in the air. she was flyin’ (damnit to hell…where was my camera when i needed it?!) thing [...]
    Filed in The Friends, the mouths of babes | 23-Jul-07 | 23 comments
  9. i love my weng weng and other monday ditties
    seriously, y’all. i didn’t think i had it in my heart to love a midget as much as i love mini-me. (”blimey! i thought i smelled cabbage!”) but, clearly that was until weng weng came along. he is agent 00. he is 2 foot 9. need i say more? warning: this will be the funniest [...]
    Filed in The Baby, The Girl, The Snark, the mouths of babes | 09-Jul-07 | 20 comments
  10. i have nice boobs
    really, i do. (hey, you in back. quit laughing already. it’s tacky.) i mean, sure, they aren’t super perky like my sister’s or gigantanormous like some of my friends, but they are nice. especially considering they served as a wet bar for a total of 17 months to three different children and considering they yo-yoed in size [...]
    Filed in the bloggers, the girl behind the screen, the mouths of babes | 04-Jul-07 | 25 comments
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