It’s that time again. Time for me to tell you what i know. In December, i told you about mascara and in January, i told you about jeans underwear.  This month i’ve come to tell you about something very important. something i see many people who are both dear to me and related to me do on a regular basis. They wear clothing because it has a label. because it’s expensive. because it’s a name brand.

but just because something has a label….it doesn’t mean that it’s nice. and it certainly doesn’t mean you should wear it in public. ever.

for example…let’s take this lovely little number from Tommy Hilfiger. This is for sale on their website (in case you want to go and buy it for that special someone in your life)

and lest you be worried that this only comes in men’s sizes…there’s a lovely little ladies version as well.

and how about sir Ralph Lauren….

there is no excuse for this. none.

or this. 1984 called and hopes that you’ll burn that half-sweater that wasn’t even stylish back then…

i’m a huge fan of JCrew. that’s no secret. but every once in a while they disappoint me so…how does a company that makes such beautiful things include these in their newest lines..

or this

that’s silk. silk!! (tablecloth much?)

**i knew there’d be some people who like this. it’s not for me, personally. but it certainly isn’t as offensive as the others…but here’s the thing. it’s JCREW. a company that advertises its simple styles and clean lines. it’s all about cotton and cashmere. and solids. but have i mentioned that this shirt is silk? also, it’s not flattering on the stick model who is wearing it…i can’t even imagine what it would look like on a normal person…**

bottom line…DO NOT buy for the label; buy for the beauty.

and please. pretty please with a cherry on top. never leave the house in this

no matter how much you like Burberry. please.

if hot mamas know one thing…it’s underwear. yes, yes, it’s not a secret that i go commando an awful lot. yes, i realize that you may find this a little, erm, trashy possibly, what with the whole Britney-shows-her-snatch-to-the-paparazzi fiascoes of past, but i promise you, try it, you won’t be sorry, and you’ll never be able to wear a skirt with underwear again.

but, when i wear jeans, underwear is a must…because otherwise, ouch! and i don’t just wear any kind. i’m VERY particular.
The Victoria’s Secret cotton V-string

the are inexpensive. they are super sexy and super fun at the same time. they are way better than a g-string, because the v at the back keeps them from riding into your crack all day, which i can really appreciate. as i’m sure you all can too. because there’s nothing HAWTER than a woman picking a wedgie in public…

my new most favorite pair

you can usually pick them up at 5 pairs for $20…so you can’t really go wrong. try ‘em. tell them ali sent you

i saw Juno this weekend. twice. i really did. and i loved it BOTH times. it was amazing. the dialogue. the characters. the music. it was a perfect little movie. and not just because Juno uses the word ‘shenanigans’ please see it, if you haven’t already.

you guys have been fantastic with your boot recommendations. please keep them coming this week. on friday i’ll have Emily choose the winner of the $17.79 Starbucks gift card. i bought myself a caffe misto on it. sorry. they are my new drink of choice. because there’s only 88 calories in a GRANDE. as opposed to the 120 in the skinny (the new lingo for nonfat sugar free) vanilla lattes i’ve been drinking. way to save a whole 32 calories, ali!

Mascara is a VERY iffy thing. too little and it’s all “where’d her eyes go” and too much and it’s all “clump much?”

the first mascara i ever tried was none other than everyone’s first mascara…the infamous Maybelline Great Lash

i wore this for years. too many years.

and then i ventured outside of Walgreens and into the clinique bonus time. oh yes, i did. (shut up, so did you!)

and then, i graduated to Prescriptives. There were no white coats…so, it had to be better, right?

and then i discovered the golden god…MAC.

unfortunately, as good as their make-up is, their mascara is pure shit. It’s clumpy. It’s AWFUL.

so, i moved on…to Lancome. I know, right? Lacome. but, seriously, i loved the Definicils that everyone was pushing. everyone. But, then my friend Aimee (who has THE best eyes in the world) changed my life forever.

+

=

PURE BLISS

(just FYI. it’s Lancome’s CILS Booster and Hypnose)

beauty.

i swear.

try it. you won’t be sorry. and you will never wear another mascara again.

(also, all you Canadians out there…did you know you can buy it at Shoppers Drug Mart??!! Because i sure didn’t.)

to see more Hot Mamas Know beauty tips, visit Absolutely Bananas this week. It’s the party glam edition.