A Fashion Crime
It’s very important that we discuss this. Very important. It’s bad enough that I had to see a full-grown woman walk through the Atlanta airport in giraffe-print slacks (Also, how horrible is the word slacks? It’s really right up there with moist and ooze) and a full-grown woman in flannel pajamas in Ottawa this week. [...]
Journey 2: The Mysterious Nipples
Sometime this afternoon, after I had shoved an amazing bagel down my gullet, I found myself in the back of my brother’s van, headed to the movies with my three lovely little nieces. I had no idea what we were seeing, although I was pretty convinced it wasn’t My Week With Marilyn. It turns out [...]
At Least I Don’t Smell Like Shawarma. Or Something.
This static electricity problem has become A SITUATION. What I wanted to blame on Toronto, and then on Ottawa and now on Atlanta, I can’t really, as it seems to be a ME problem. I seriously look like I have been on 3-2-1 Contact and was involved in some experiment. Only with slightly less stone-wash [...]
To Be Immediately Stricken From Lexicon: Dirty Mom
Yesterday, I had a dentist appointment. I refuse to share with you how long it has been since I went in for a regular cleaning, and truthfully, it’s not all that relevant to you, dear reader, as I have a mother (two, even) and I don’t need to be told how important regular cleanings are, [...]
I Only Speak The Truth: Water For Elephants Is Moulin Rouge
“We’re going to watch a movie tonight, right?” My husband—known to some as the most romantic man in Canada—sent me our big Valentine’s Day plans yesterday. On GChat. That’s made me snort-laugh because, really? Truthfully, though, my husband is ridiculously good to me and surprises me with romance and lovely things on days that are [...]
14 of the Best Scenes From The Wire. Ever.
5 seasons of The Wire are finished. 60 episodes. Finished. Yes. I realize that I am several years late to this party. Each and every episode is still with me, stuck to my bones. Days later and I’m still thinking about it, still talking about it, still hoping that someone out there is listening to my [...]
Greatest Love of All
As I watched my Twitter stream explode this evening with talk of Whitney Houston’s passing, as I watched as people reminisced about seeing her in concert, about what their favorite songs were, about how tragic this news is, I was doing some reflecting of my own, but it wasn’t about my favorite Whitney Houston song [...]
The People of Wal-Mart
I’m not even 100% certain of what just happened here. All I know is that last night I went to sleep at 8pm, before any of my children. I woke up at 7am, hoping to feel refreshed and ready to kick this sick’s asshole. Only, well, I didn’t. Coughs, sneezes, runny nose, aches, pains, chills, [...]
Bela Karolyi Never Would Have Allowed This
It should come as no surprise to any of you that I often partake in things that are just so ridiculous. I’m that person. “Only you, Ali. Only you.” So, the fact that I found myself this week with half of my body inside of my mini-van and half of my body running beside my mini-van [...]
Caffeination
Me, forever ago: OH MY GOD! We have a to get a Keurig! It’s the best invention ever! It makes just one cup of coffee. It’s perfect! Since I’m the only one who drinks coffee and I only drink one a day…think of all the money we’ll save! And it’s so inexpensive too. A look [...]
Raising Successful Bloggers
You guys, my kid. I realize I have three, but two of them are not MY kid, but instead they are some sort of DNA hybrid of their father and me. (Imagine!) I see traces of me sprinkled all over Isabella and Joshua. When Isabella makes piles of outfits and labels them with the days [...]
It’s, Like, Beyond Comical At This Point.
My husband is away and my children are sick. We have been here before. Exhibit A. Exhibit B. Exhibit C. Exhibit D. I will stop exhibiting because a) I’m fairly certain you get the point and b) I am just getting more depressed with each added hyperlink. It’s like they have this sixth sense. They [...]
Of Sonic Videos, Folgers Commercials, and Jonathan Safran Foer Movies.
It doesn’t take much to get me tailspinning about what I miss about living in Atlanta. All it takes is mere mention of THE HOLY LAND to set me off. The holy land is Target, for those of you who don’t already know…or who have regular access to one and don’t realize how much of [...]
Babe. I Got You Babe.
It’s apropos, somehow, that today is Groundhog Day. I re-watch the Bill Murray classic at least once each February. It’s tradition at this point. Babe. I got you Babe. And if you have seen the movie, you know. If you haven’t, well, what in the what are you sitting around reading my drivel for (Get on that, [...]
