December 7 16

It’s been almost three weeks since I got on my scale.

I believe this to be the most mentally healthy thing I have ever done in my livelong days. 

Like clockwork, each morning I’d get on the scale and plan for the day. If the numbers were up, even slightly, I’d feel sad, disappointed. I’d vow not to eat anything but vegetables that day. If the numbers were down, I’d give myself a proverbial pat on the back, and then vow to replicate whatever I had done yesterday, but then begin to make excuses for the why the numbers were down and vow not to get my hopes up too much, after all, a full month on a no-carb, no-sugar diet only left me with an actual loss of 2 numbers in the tens column. Like clockwork, each evening I’d do the same.

The scale is an evil addiction.

So now it’s gone. Like any addiction, which I can tell you from when I cold-turkey quit Diet Coke, the first few days were the hardest. Muscle memory would urge me to get on the scale right in between removing my jammies and getting into the shower. It took almost three weeks, but the urge is gone.

Mostly.

I have no idea how much I weigh today.

Or how much I weighed last night, or yesterday morning. Or last week.

It doesn’t really matter. I exercise, some. I eat well, mostly. Look, I could definitely exercise more. And I most definitely could eat better. But you know something, when I was exercising daily, I was still a slave to my scale, and the numbers didn’t seem to work in my favor, which only led to sadness and disappointment. And when I was eating almost nothing, being hungry from days and months at a time, swearing off bread and other delicious things, I was indeed still being disappointed by my scale. This is called having a 38-year-old metabolism that I abused through yo-yo dieting all through my 20s and early 30s. 

And you know what? BREAD IS AWESOME.

I’m just not going to let it have that power over me anymore.

I want to love this body, since after a year and a half, I realize it’s not going anywhere. It’s mine now, it’s here to stay. And I do believe I’ll get there.

This was the first step.

And I assure you, it wasn’t a small one.

moon-landing

 

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  1. Good for you.

    I’ve been trying to lose the same 10 pounds since the dawn of time. Now, I’ve fallen in love with yoga, and Orange Theory. 2 diametrically opposed exercises. I eat a cookie sometimes, and have that glass of wine when I went it. And you know what, it’s all okay. All in moderation.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    What is Orange Theory? I’m intrigued!

    [Reply]

    Jodi replied on

    It is high intensity training. You go from treadmills to rowing machines to weights in a circuit. You wear a height rate monitor and keep it up in the “orange” zone. I’m not explaining it very well. It is very intense but you feel amazing afterward. I don’t know if they have it in Canada.

    https://www.orangetheoryfitness.com/

    [Reply]

    Tania Samson replied on

    It’s opening on steeles and dufferin -first in Toronto I think!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jodi on December 7, 2016
  2. My dear (beautiful) Ali, you know I love this so much. We should send my dusty scale and your dusty scale to the moon in a rocket xo

    [Reply]

    Comment by Louise on December 7, 2016
  3. I hate the scale. It is never my friend. I learned that a long time ago. For me, I try to get on it every once in awhile, just to see. But I always know. I go by how my clothes fit. Because, as you mentioned, getting older SUUUUCCCKKS and I can do everything right and it won’t move a pound. But then my pants will fit better and really, that’s what matters!

    I actually am in a weight loss study right now that wants me to weigh in every day and I flat out refused. I was like “that is NOT healthy”

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    a weight loss study? Why aren’t you writing about *that*????

    [Reply]

    Kristabella replied on

    Because I’m failing miserably!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on December 7, 2016
  4. The scale is the devil! Ours broke over the Summer and I decided that I was not going to replace it. Best damn decision I ever made.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Tricia on December 9, 2016
  5. Good on you! I think all women have the scale urge and weight issues. I’ve totally taken my foot off the weight loss accelerator this December, instead eating everything in sight.

    Come January it’s about being healthy. Not looking at the numbers!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Bronnie on December 25, 2016
  6. Are you a part of healthy habits happy moms? Might be your thing!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Heather on December 27, 2016
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