December 6 16

Okay, here’s the thing. I love Timehop and Facebook memories. It shows me some wonderful photos of my friends and my kids and really helps me understand that time Don Draper pitched Kodak’s carousel with this: Nostalgia. It’s delicate, but potent. Teddy told me that in Greek, “nostalgia” literally means “the pain from an old wound.” It’s a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn’t a spaceship, it’s a time machine. It goes backwards, and forwards… it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It’s not called the wheel, it’s called the carousel. It lets us travel the way a child travels — around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know are loved.

I mean look at what showed up this morning:

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NINE YEARS. Oh the twinge. 

But, this morning something else came up. An old post from three years ago. There are few outdated things — like google readers and Tweetdeck and Vine things. (What?) But it still holds up. And the funny thing is, last night I was bouncing around a post idea in my head…and it was almost exactly this, only insert. I’m fatigued by ALL OF THE ELECTION THINGS on Facebook. Here’s the thing. It’s truly comforting to know that many of my people are feeling what I’m feeling. It’s less comforting, and eye-opening of course, to see that some of my people are feeling very different things, sharing different things — makes me wonder how they were ever my people, and makes me wonder if maybe they are not. I have stopped commenting — I’m sitting on my hands reminding myself, out loud, to not engage— and that has been very good for my headspace, but I’m still reading, still getting so fatigued.

I miss your stories.

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Every morning I open up my various social media channels.

That’s a lie, really.

They are still open from the night before. They are never, ever closed. My computer is slow and cantankerous and I have exactly no one to blame but myself and I’m not sorry about it. My friend Jen suffers from this same disease and showed me a plugin that allows you to have multiple rows of tabs open so there’s no need for left and right scrolling across the toolbar. It’s a thing of beauty. It’s also a thing of judgement at our house.

Him: Any guesses how many tabs you have open?

Me: 26?

Him: 60!

Me: Is that a lot?

Anyway, back to my social media channels.

There are so many shares.

I really like the shares, If I’m being honest. It’s like I don’t even need a reader anymore! Google reader, who misses you? Not this girl! All of the funny, sensational, listy, heartwarming, outrageous stuff out there on the internet? It’s all neatly showing up right in my Facebook feed and Tweetdeck columns. And these things get shared more and more and more and get pulled up to the top of my Facebook feed and so I’m reading it all. I know lots about knitting out of lady places and the worst autocorrects and the best vines (why is everybody afraid of love?) and all of the hilarious ways you set your elves on shelves and what side of my brain I use more than others and all of the cat photos that were ever taken.

And because I like them, I share them too. Videos of Benedict Cumberbatch reciting song lyrics, lip-sync dance offs with Joseph Gordon Levitt, English people filling out maps of the 50 states, things that only anxious people understand.

I see your shares.

And you see mine.

And it’s a thing of beauty.

Because we are all laughing and crying and smiling and awwwwing at the same time.

But there’s something missing.

Something that’s not getting shared, something that’s getting lost behind all of the viral shares.

The stories, the blog posts, the funny thing your kid did last night, the hilarious conversation you had with your grandmother when you tried to teach her how to check email, that time you had your first kiss, that piece you wrote about being a work at home mom, that time you tried on 126 pairs of skinny jeans before you decided that you are a bootcut girl for life, that sad person you saw sleeping atop of the grate downtown, the rage you have for traffic, the scavenger hunt you made for your son’s fifth birthday, that shoebox of bershon-filled photos that you found in your parents’ basement, the day you realized that you have become your mother, that time you danced like Elaine Benes at your company’s holiday party.

They are not viral. They are not top ten lists. They are not sponsored. They are not telling me what to do. They are not telling me what not to do.

But they are equally brilliant, if sometimes not more.

They are your words, your truth, your story.

I would love it if you could leave me a comment today and share something with me.

It could be something you wrote, something you read, something you love.

A blog post.

A photo.

A video of your kid dancing like no one’s watching.

A great story.

A funny tweet.

I’ll go first.

I really, really liked this post. It’s about working from home. It really resonated with me, since my kids seem to have amnesia every single day at 3:30 and I need to remind them in a daily moment not unlike one that might be seen in Groundhog Day that the thing I do at home in front of my computer? It’s called working.

Well, it’s not always working, I guess. Last night while I was at the Media Profile holiday party wearing a dress that was too small and drinking Jack Daniel’s with THE Jack Daniel (or, you know, a fake replica of him) and fighting with superhero costumes in the photobooth, my kids were at home baking brownie cupcakes in my kitchen. It was genius really, because it was both math homework AND science homework in one.

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And I got to come home to brownies, which really makes it like Home Ec homework too, then.

And a house that didn’t burn down.

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  1. I could tell a recent story, but this post reminded me of a favorite story, one that to this day brings tears to my eyes. It’s about our first Make-A-Wish trip to Disney for my littlest. I’m going to give you the link…because it must be told with pictures.

    http://redefiningperfect.com/t.....ke-a-wish/

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah Cass on December 6, 2016
  2. Oof, man I could have written that old post. I’ve been wanting to get back to blogging. Really have. But, I’m nervous. Like I feel like an old lady with the viralness of it all. I liked it better when I could just blog in my own world and I didn’t think about any of that.

    Of course, then I also got fired because of my blog because of that, so maybe not. HA!

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Who cares about viral. NOT ME! :)

    Don’t be nervous. Just do it.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on December 6, 2016
  3. I met my crush of 32 years – Bruce Springsteen last week! I’ve tried to attach the picture – but no success. You will just have to take my word – it really happened and it was one of the best days of my life.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    That is amazing, even photo-less!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Regina Spears on December 6, 2016
  4. https://www.facebook.com/abby.berg2/posts/1264969593575647

    That’s my share to make you laugh!!!! Or cry! I did both that night!!!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Abby on December 6, 2016
  5. Hey Ali – I remember when you posted that original photo of your kids (way back in the day).

    Last night, I took Miranda to see The Nutcracker here in Perth with her friend and her friend’s mum and brother. It was wonderful – eating out at a grown-up restaurant (it’s been a while), getting dressed up in REAL clothes and shoes (not just the flip flops and shorts I’m currently cruising around in because I work st home) and seeing the sure wonderment in my nearly 12 year-old’s eyes as she watched the show. Ok it wasn’t the Canadian Ballet Company’s version choreographed by Karen Kain at the Four Seasons Centre (we did that in 2011) but she’ll remember it for life. And it actually was amazing and an interesting interpretation of the story newly choreographed for the WA Ballet Company and not a standard one they do every year. She saw it with her duo partner and we mums got to kick back and drink Shiraz all glammed up and take pride in our nearly teen daughter’s:))

    [Reply]

    Comment by Heidi on December 8, 2016
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