July 13 16

I’m determined by nature and limited by finances and the Toronto nosebleed season of bad weather from November through June.

Also, I’m what you’d call a little bit unemployed (read: not only a little bit) and I’m down 2/3 of my noisemakers and food consumers — one is off having the time of her life in Camp Moshava and one is off having the time of his life in Green Bay Packers camp —

(look at that face my goodness)

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so in between photoshoots and loads of laundry and runs and carpools and feeding Emily actual meals and not frat food, my brain is full of ideas of things I want to do next.

Today’s great idea: Turn my garage into a photo studio. 

It’s a good one, isn’t it? Look, I’m not one to take GREAT IDEAS lightly — remember what happened when Kristy Thomas had a great idea? I mean there’s a good chance that at the end of the day I’ll have chosen to clean out the front hall closet and watch Halt and Catch Fire while editing a shoot and trying to figure out what Amazon prime day is instead of designing a photo studio and my garage will still only be filled with bikes and barbecues but baby steps. I also want to choose the music for shows for teenagers.

I turned down a client yesterday. As a YES (WO)MAN, you could probably guess that this was really difficult for me. Typically, when a client comes to me with outside-of-the-box requests, I do everything in my power to make it work. Not so much because I need the business — although I love love love love photographing all the livelong day — but because the business end of my business is where I have worked hard to stand out. I try to make newborn sessions and mitzvahs and parties and family sessions as easy peasy and stress-less as possible. I work hard to make sure my clients walk away with smiles on their faces. {Side note to people who love to take photos: a photography business is very much a business} But sometimes you have to weigh the needs of your client and the needs of you as a professional and the most professional thing you can do in that moment is say that this just isn’t a good fit for everyone.

It was the right thing to do. I’m still feeling it today, though.

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I assume this will get easier, as I continue to grow in my technical skills and in my businesswoman skills.

I have tried to figure out why saying no is so hard for me, why I consider myself to be a pleaser. I mean, I’m sure it’s all part of my whole anxiety situation. I had a very good therapist for a while {until she abruptly left the practice to go on medical leave, which was when I abruptly decided to stop seeing a therapist, but this is probably a story for another time.} and she was practically obsessed with the idea that I needed to learn to say no. There was homework and worksheets and a game that involved dimes (no, really) and deep conversations about my parents. I’m a true work in progress and am definitely getting better and learning how to value myself and yes, sometimes I can say no now.

It’s actually a shame that my husband has zero percent problem saying no…especially to things like garage photo studios.

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  1. I never say no either. I’ve been trying to get better and man, sometimes it just feels so right. I have to think about me first sometimes!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on July 13, 2016
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