You guys, YOU GUYS, the podcast has dropped officially.
You know, the one where 5 guys and I sit around and talk about Dawson’s Creek and other pop culture ridiculousness?
Episode 2, actually.
Episode 1 is well, well, it’s gone. (With the wind.) We had a little situation with the audio. I’m a first-timer y’all. It’s a shame, truly, since our pilot episode was nothing like most actual pilots. It was actually hilarious. But we sounded like we were in a fishbowl, so it wasn’t worth gurgling through our drivel about ’80s rapping and whether or not it’s legally okay to have a thing for either Joey or Jen.
In Episode 2, Dawson barely mentions his love for how Spielberg doesn’t love sex. He wants to kiss Jen AND MAKE HIS BOTTOM LIP DANCE. Joey thinks he’s dramatic (He is). Joey doesn’t want to kiss Pacey. Miss Jacobs doesn’t think she kissed Pacey (She did). Dawson gets permission to sit in Mr. Gold’s class. Jen decides to go to the dance with Cliff because she’s from New York where things move fast — and also because he asked her, unlike Dawson who asked her to watch movies about John Travolta going to the dance. Dawson asks his dad how to kiss girls. The world hurls. Joey loves it and then tells Mrs. Leery that she knows about her and Back-to-you-Bob. Joey dies on film and Jen cleans the fake blood off of her and they chat nakedly about the weird things their hips do, how Jen looks like a duck (she does!) and how Joey has nice breasts (unconfirmed). Everyone goes to The Enchantment Under The Sea dance in giant pantaloons. Dawson’s makes a bad decision and embarrasses Jen. Everyone meets up on the dock. Except for Joey. She just resting bitch faces there.
Since Jake is still wrapping his head around the fact that podcasts are just audio and you won’t be able to watch this… (What? Forgive us, we grew up in the ’90s, guys, where things were weird and pants were large) … we are adding a few visuals for your viewing pleasure. Or for fits of giggling. Whichever.
Oh fake Joey head. Are words really even necessary here? SHE WILL SEE YOU IN YOUR NIGHTMARES.
I hope you’ll join us next week—we are sure Dawson will be dramatic.