When it comes to New Year’s Resolutions, last year I made only two: More sleep. Less Candy Crush.
So, I feel mostly good about being 50% successful, I guess. I didn’t play Candy Crush once in 2014. Not one single time. I even stopped updating the app, thinking *that* would tempt me. But no, what I seem to lack in self control when it comes to delicious baked goods (I’ve got 5.5 pounds of holiday cake proof to show you) I hold strong with time-sucking iphone games. Even when my brother taunts me with his, “You know I passed you in Candy Crush…” Staying strong, I tell you. Yes. The sleeping though. Did not happen. Sleeping and I, we just, don’t. Last night, for example, we got home after spending basically two full days in the car. I mean, I didn’t drive for any minutes, but I passengered for a full 18+ hours. You would assume that I would fall asleep the way my husband did — 1.4 minutes into the movie we put on, mid-sentence. You would assume this, but you would be really wrong. No, I would stay up to watch the entire movie, which was pretty decent, and also pretty sad because it had James Gandolfini in it. And then I watched Zach and Miri make themselves a porno, so. I went to sleep at around 2am.
Surely I can do better than a 50% success rate in 2015.
Here’s what I plan to not do in 2015:
1. Not let my gas tank get down to completely empty. I often drive on fumes and prayer, and I really need to cut that out and stop playing the gasoline chicken game with my husband, hoping that he’ll give up first and visit the gas station. Why can’t I live in New Jersey or all the other places where they only have full-service gas stations? (hashtag lazyandIdon’tlikemymittenstosmelllikegasoline.)
2. Not let my bike gather dust. I love my bike, and I love riding it, but sometimes I love Netflix just a wee bit more.
3. Not feel obligated to make an online purchase every time a 40% off sale email comes into my inbox. (Read: Every day) (See also: unsubscribe, unsubscribe, unsubscribe)
4. Not let my phone go to voice mail every time it rings.
5. Not be quick to get annoyed, irritated, bugged by things. Not sweat the small stuff. Take life advice from women like Leslie Knope, and not Betty Draper.
6. Not take it personally when someone doesn’t love the shows, movies, songs I love. Newsflash: The Wire and Mad Men aren’t for everyone. Tragically.
7. Not say no to dessert. Dessert is awesome.
8. Not skip the tights when it’s freezing out. I have been dressing inappropriately for the weather since 1978. It’s time I try to stop freezing my keister off. Try.
9. Not visit the grocery store hungry.
10. Not go a day without taking a photo — even in the cold, dead of the dreary winter. There’s beauty to be found even in the bare and the brrr.
What won’t you be doing in 2015?