August 18 14

Late Saturday night I opened up my computer for the first time that day and wrote on Facebook that it was a really good day. Because it was. Old friends, new friends, lots of good conversation, lots of laughs. For all five of us—even though Isabella did end up with an awful, awful-looking ear infection from the cheap Claire’s earrings that apparently she can’t wear anymore. (#KidsAreExpensiveYo)

I should have known, really, as soon as those words poured out onto my status update.

I should have known that the shoe was going to drop and our internet would break (again) and it was going to be a tough morning for everyone and I was going to have to take to my fainting couch (Note: not an actual piece of furniture in my home, much to my dismay) and try my very best not to be Betty Draper and hold a grudge after our hour-long family meeting and after our kids all apologized and were ready to turn the day around by planting a brand-new baby Japanese Maple in the backyard and teaching Josh to hula hoop.

Fainting Couch

Kids have such an amazing way, don’t they, of being totally horrible to you one minute and then hugging you and telling you how much they love you the next minute and completely forgetting how crappy they were while you’re uncomfortable with all of the love being thrown your way because you’re still stuck on the horribleness of it all. I’m working so very hard on this…not being Betty Draper. 

So, I should have known.


Me: Good afternoon Bell guy. Thanks for coming out and being the second Bell technician to attempt to fix the internetslashtelevision in this house this week — the house where internet goes to die. I’m certain there are ghosts in the machine. Or something.

Bell guy: Don’t worry, I brought my Proton Pack.

What I wanted to say was There is no Dana, only Zuul but I wasn’t sure if it was taking pop culture references just one step too far — as I’m often apt to do — and I truly felt bad for this guy. He spent way too many hours of his day playing with my modem and my televisions and running up and down my steps and only mostly fixed things. He showed me this fancy little chart that showed how many times our internet went down today. 117. 117 times. Today.

I did my entire job today on my phone. Yes, I worked a full day using only my thumbs. That deserves some sort of medal, I think, no? I mean, it’s got to be just as tough as what Ryan Lochte does in the pool if not tougher. A medal. Or at least some vodka.


(Emily did make me homemade chocolate chip cookies and now she might be my favorite.)

I got hit with something of a wee and strange little unexpected work curveball today (Note: curveballs are my least favorite kind of balls) that I’m not really sure I’m allowed to talk about but I guess I sort of can but I don’t even know if I’m ready to or even want to VAGUEBOOKING AT ITS FINEST RIGHT HERE FOLKS! or even know how to explain it but it seems that changes are afoot. Seriously. For someone who doesn’t love change all that much, change sure manages to love me. It’s like mosquitoes in the summer. I am not a fan and tend to get eaten alive and then I will always scratch the bites until they bleed because I can’t not scratch them and truth be told, once the bleeding sets in, the itch lets up a little bit so there’s some sort of relief.

I should have known.

But this means that tomorrow is going to be a really good day. Right?

I mean, there will be chocolate chip cookies and mostly working internet. How bad could it be?




  1. I love that you have a fainting couch and I have a weird ‘cool-technician’ crush on your Bell guy because of the Proton Pack reference. Xo


    Comment by Kat on August 19, 2014

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