May 29 14

Every so often I sit back and in grass-is-greener moments wonder if I’ve made the right decision to be a work-at-home mama.

Maybe it would be nice to get dressed in office attire again. Maybe it would be nice to have actual real-life  conversations. Maybe it would be nice to leave the domestic duties to someone else. Maybe it would be nice to be able to work between 3:30 and 5pm without The 3:30pm Dictator making an appearance. Maybe it would be nice to avoid that morning rush—to not have to make the school lunches. Maybe it would be nice to drop my work at my desk at night and not think about it again until the morning. Maybe it would be nice to have some extra income coming in. Maybe it would be nice to have vacation days. Maybe it would be nice to have more time to work on my exciting and awesome growing photography business. Maybe it would be nice to not have to just run to school to bring a child a forgotten pair of gym shorts pretty please Mama. 

Maybe.

But no.

I know I have made the right decision.

A short while ago, I entertained a job interview. It went as far as a phone interview. I hung up with my brain swirling with many thoughts.

And then about 8 minutes after I hung up I got a phone call from a very sick boy. “Please come and pick me up from school. I really don’t feel well. I need you.”

I need you. 

And that was that.

He needed me. They need me. There are so many stresses in my life right now. Money, time, attempts at trying to find some sort of balance. But, truth be told, there will always be stresses—they just might be dressed up in business casual office wear. They are still there, just different.

Emily came home one day this week after having had a particularly upsetting day. I was working on my bed on my laptop — because I had to rewatch the mid-season finale of Mad Men while I edited a piece of content — and she came in the room, dropped her bags, and put her head down in my lap. We discussed her day. I kissed the top of her head and listened as she talked.

It’s so very hard to see your children sad, upset, frustrated. It so very, very hard. It physically hurts my heart. But on the other hand, I’m so thankful that they come home to ME when they are sad, upset, frustrated.

These are the right stresses for me. For my lot.

mylot

Now if there could just stop being so much stinkin’ laundry. 

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  1. I’ve witnessed it in person, you DEFINITELY made the right decision!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on May 29, 2014
  2. I am in the process of making the decision you have. Tomorrow is my last day at my desk job. I have taken 3 months off and then I will begin to organize a work at home/contract/part time/I have no idea career. I can’t lie, as happy as I am to start this transition I am also scared to death of this transition. Thank you, your post is helping me feel a little bit better about the whole thing!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Chantal on May 29, 2014
  3. It’s both harder and easier to work at home, as I’ve learned over the past 10 months. But believe me, you don’t want to be stuck downtown until the next train leaves (and then a 40 minute train ride) when you get the call that someone has a fever or has fallen.

    For me, I really started to hate that someone else heard their story of the day when they came home from school. By the time I came home, no one wanted to talk about it.

    You made a good call. Now I’m off to do the laundry you just reminded me of.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Yep. I made the right call FOR ME. One’s not better than the other, goodness knows I know that…this is just the right one for me.

    Even if it comes with lots of stress.
    lots.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Melissa on May 29, 2014
  4. Yes, your kids will always remember you were there for them! I remember my mom always being there for me. I am so lucky in my ‘second’ career. I ended my 17 yr software engineer career in 2010 with the company (being closed) closing. I was home for 3 yrs which I wouldn’t trade for anything, even the money that was non-existence for half of that time (lucky to get 1.5 yrs severance). Anyway, ff to a year ago with my son starting highschool (with tuition) I had to get back to work. But I’m SO thankfull of this job I have now. It’s less stressfull (QA instead of developing…) it’s closer to home, I can work from home whenever I need to (sick child, delivery, up late watching HABS game (just kidding lol)) – so I get the best of both I feel, great insurance, vacation, get to dress up if I feel like it and also be home for sick kids. Now, I look for almost 2 yrs for this job. So I’m just saying, that perfect balance ‘can’ be found even working outside the home. Something to think about! But I completely agree with your post about being there for your kids – that’s why we had kids afterall!!

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    It’s interesting because my parents always worked fulltime (and then some) and I wonder if the right life decisions for me are because I absolutely hated that my parents were never around when I got home from school.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on May 29, 2014
  5. I’m lucky that my son and I are home at the same time, he only gets off the bus at 4:30 –
    You will never regret the time you spend with your kids, time vs. $ – I’d pick time everytime.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on May 29, 2014
  6. Oh my yes… I made this switch to work from home 14 years ago and I still feel a little twinge of doubt now and then. And then the 15yo walks through the door at the end of the day in a talkative mood. Or the 13yo sits in the rocking chair next to my desk because she just needs a quiet place to decompress. Or the 9yo barrels in and gives me a hug before bursting out to play with a friend.

    There will be days when I can work in a different capacity if I choose. Until then, this desk next to the pile of kid’s shoes is just fine.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Barb on May 29, 2014
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