I’m meeting a friend for coffee today. I’m up, I’m dressed, and save for the messy top bun, I’m almost mostly presentable.
And I’m looking forward.
Mostly because I don’t have to cancel.
Because I’m kind of a chronic canceler.
I’d like to say that it’s through no fault of my own, but it’s entirely my fault. I own it. You see, my life is busy.
Oh there’s that awful buzz word—busy. Apparently, we aren’t allowed to say it anymore because everyone is busy. But, I’m not saying that my life is any busier than yours—I don’t play the busy olympics. I don’t participate in any one of these types of “I’m more xxxx than you” games. Except for maybe the Jon Hamm and Mindy Kaling olympics—I love them more than you do. But it’s really just a fact—a fact that’s necessary to provide context to this conversation. So, yes, I’m busy. I said it, dammit. My life is amazing, it really is, and it’s filled with dance and swimming and auditions and preparing for auditions and driving to auditions and spending days on sets and baseball and more dance and skating and more skating and a more-than-40-hours-a-week day job and a side job and, well, the cooking, cleaning, homework overlording, cuddling, playdate arranging, the wearing of many hats, if you will.
I chose this chaos and I wouldn’t trade it for a boring old life. Ever.
But sometimes certain things trump other things.
“Mama! My history diorama project is due tomorrow and I still need that fake grass you promised me and an extra poster board and I can’t get the printer to work to print out my report—I’m pretty sure it’s out of ink.”
“Well, I guess I will cancel my coffee date so we can go to the dollar store and go and get some more printer ink.”
“Mama! I have an extra dance practice tonight and it goes until 10pm. I need you to drive me and pick me up.”
“Well, I guess I will cancel on my book club.”
“Mama! My stomach/head/heart/toe/back/throat aches.”
“Well, I guess I’m not going to the movie premiere.”
“Mama, you look really tired.”
“Well, I’m just going to close my eyes for five minutes because I have to head downtown for an event in a few….zzzzzz……”
“Mama, I lost my cast at school. And I forgot my lunch on the kitchen table.”
“Well, I guess I’m canceling my lunch meeting.”
Things come up. Work emergencies, family emergencies, homework emergencies, dance emergencies. (And sometimes I simply collapse on the couch at 7:30 at night and then can’t get up.) I have every intention of making it to every thing you invite me to—coffee dates, lunches, events, movies. Trust me, there’s nothing I enjoy more than eating a meal without having to trade with a small child who doesn’t like what she ordered. And there’s little I like more than getting together with ladies who love books. And I want to see movies that have nothing to do with Walt Disney. And I really, really want to see the preview of what Target is showing in its spring line. And I would love to just sit and enjoy a coffee.
But sometimes I just have to cancel.
But today! Today I’m going for coffee with my friend.
I’m just not picking up the phone or checking my work email before I go. Just in case.