April 5 13

My oldest daughter is the proud new owner of an iPhone5. The resourceful little thing prepaid us for an entire year. We tried to tell her that Blackberry would probably give her a phone for free since no one wants them anymore, but alas, no. iPhone.

She is actually quite responsible with it, and I will admit that having a child with a phone is far more convenient than having a child without a phone. I’m almost ready for her to go to the mall unaccompanied. I feel more comfortable sending her down the street to Starbucks to get me a latte when I can reach her during those 7 minutes it takes her to walk there.

WHAT?! I’m teaching her responsibility and letting her test her freedom boundaries. If I happen to get a caffeine fix out of it, well, that’s just gravy. It’s about her, obviously. OBVIOUSLY. I also sometimes send her to get the mail. Now you want to tell me that it’s all about me. Well, a lot you know—nothing ever comes in the mail for me except for pizza coupons and fliers for people who want to clean out my ducts.

We have an open-door social policy with her—which means we can read her texts and emails and Facebook messages and have access to all of her passwords. So far I have read exactly nothing exciting. But I do know that my daughter texts “kk” more than any human alive should ever do.

But yesterday, you guys.

But yesterday we hit the first problem.

And it’s a big one.


Emily has an instagram account. And for the most part, she takes photos of what you’d guess a 6th grader would take photos of.


Right? The circle of boots, the candy shot, the dramatic tree, the show she’s watching on television. Totally what you’d expect and hope your child was photographing.

I was so pleased and so smug. My kid is THE BEST and look at that tree—she might even be taking after me with her love of the the camera!

And then.


Oh my heavenly duck face.



Have I taught my child nothing at all? Where did I fail as a parent—where did I go wrong? Get me my fainting couch. And the smelling salts. We are going to need them.

Obviously, I took to instagram to set her straight.


And then we had a long conversation about what’s appropriate and not appropriate to share online.

I know that we’d have a conversation like this.

I just didn’t think this was what we’d be talking about…

  1. LOL. You are a good mother. And I am counting the days until I can send a kid out on a coffee run.


    alimartell replied on

    It’s amazing, really, if not making my kind of poor. :)


    Comment by Rebecca on April 5, 2013
  2. Oh dear.


    Comment by Meghan on April 5, 2013
  3. I had a craving for a can of coke the other day and totally thought about sending my 7yo up the street… ;) Why do they like the duck face so much?!


    Comment by Sandy on April 5, 2013
  4. I’m so SO sorry for this misstep in your child-rearing.


    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on April 5, 2013
  5. The worst part is that she said the duck face one was better than the one I took! I THINK NOT, EMILY!


    Comment by Kristabella on April 5, 2013


    Comment by Heather on April 5, 2013
  7. Make her watch Zoolander. No good ever comes from duck face.


    Comment by Sharon on April 5, 2013
  8. My little one wants to get a cell phone I dunno if I’m ready for her to grow up.


    Comment by Grace on April 5, 2013
  9. Hopefully those’ll go away fast ;-)


    Comment by monstergirlee on April 5, 2013

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