March 13 13

I may have told you once—or possibly a hundred times—that I do not dance. I’m basically Brandon Walsh. It’s not that I wouldn’t enjoy dancing, I’m sure. It’s that I have been blessed with the natural rhythm of Carlton Banks and Elaine Benes combined.

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I speak the truth.

Normally, this doesn’t really mean much other than the fact that I say “she doesn’t get it from me” quite an awful lot when people tell me how rhythmically-inclined my oldest daughter is because she most definitely does not get it from me. She gets her love of shopping and black boots and Les Miserables from me. And her good hair too. But dancing? PSHAW.

There is one dance I know how to do.

And it’s because one quiet afternoon when my babies were little and napping I thought to myself, “SELF! Do you know what would be more fun that laundry and cleaning and working? Learning The Thriller Dance!” So off I googled and one thrill the world website and a few hours later, I knew how to Zombie walk and shake it up and shake it down. Like a boss.

So it made sense—in my head—to plan a Thriller flash mob for Emily’s Bat Mitzvah. I got the idea about 2 years ago, and, well, some clumsy planning and some weird emails and a hilarious practice and, well, THE FACT THAT I LEARNED THE ENTIRE DANCE BACKWARDS BECAUSE IT WAS MIRROR IMAGE, I think it turned out pretty freakin’ hilarious. And it’s certainly something Emily will never forget, and possibly never stop being mortified about.

EXCELLENT.

(Thanks for the video Ray!)

But I’ll have you know this.

The Thriller flash mob was not the only dancing I did at the Bat Mitzvah.

Oh no. It was not.

I was on that dance floor, with my white man’s overbite, and a pink tutu skirt, and evidence that I had visited the photobooth, and mustache on a stick, and shoes that look 8 sizes too big.

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There is a story here, you guys.

Over the weekend—the one that was filled with lots of family time and lots of shots of Irish whiskey and lots of time with the lovely @kristabella—I casually mentioned that a huge Bar and Bat Mitzvah song back in my day was Motownphilly. to which my husband of 15 years said, “WHAT? I DO NOT KNOW THIS SONG?”

To which I replied, “Oh My Heavenly Days, Husband. First you reveal you pronounce the word ‘mustache’ and now you don’t know what Motownphilly is? YOU THINK YOU KNOW SOMEONE!”

To which he repled, “uh.”

To which I promptly proceeded to sing the entire song from beginning to end.

With a giant smile on my face.

CUT TO THE NIGHT OF THE BAT MITZVAH and Kristin, who knows me way too well, requested a song for me.

Motownphilly.

It came on.

And I danced.

Like I was 12.

With a giant smile on my face.

And a mustache on a stick.

Pronounced the right way, of course.

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  1. Gav just got knocked down a few pegs on the cool scale for not knowing Motown Philly. What right and proper GenXer does NOT know that song?!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on March 13, 2013
  2. I have to admit, I am not familiar with Motownphilly and I consider myself a bit of an expert on 90s pop culture. You really do learn a new thing everyday!

    I love that dress!

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    WHA?

    It’s BOYZ II MEN!

    [Reply]

    Danielle replied on

    I guess Boyz II Men didn’t quite make it to small town Ontario. I remember End of the Road, but it seems we missed out on the rest!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Danielle on March 13, 2013
  3. Oh my days, I love you so.

    [Reply]

    Comment by sam on March 13, 2013
  4. That was adorable.

    And how does he pronounce it? Like moo-stache? Or muss-tache? Or mouse-tache? I’m confused.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    like…uh…m’STACHE.

    [Reply]

    Avitable replied on

    Hahaha! Okay, that’s bizarre.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Avitable on March 13, 2013
  5. Gee, thanks. Now I’ve got Doin’ a little east coast swing playing over and over in my head. Great.

    And as expected, the dress looks FABULOUS.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Oh thank you! I was so happy with the dress. I’m in love with it a little bit.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Arnebya on March 13, 2013
  6. I dance like Carlton, too. Only worse. That flashmob was rad. And I’m with you with m’stache.

    I remember spending hours and hours with my friends rewinding and replaying the very end of the Men in Black VHS so we could get that dance down. And, likely, we did it backwards.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen Wilson on March 13, 2013
  7. LOVE ALL OF THIS. The flash mob was adorable, and while watching the video from my desk at work, I had to restrain myself from doing the dance, too. And as soon as you mentioned Motown Philly, I started singing it in my head.

    When are you guys moving back to Atlanta?!?!?!

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    …from your mouth, my dear.

    I WISH.

    Sigh.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Darcey on March 13, 2013
  8. I can’t believe you married him! Come on?!!! Motownphilly?!!! I too had a lot of fun with that song in my youth. I’m totally kidding though, I think your huz is great. (I pronounce it Muss-Tash.) Also: looks like y’all had a blast!!! Woohoo! So glad it went well, but I’m a little sad to say that I was looking forward to you in pink shoes. ;)

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    It was my chucks that were delivered in pink…but I switched ‘em for black ones for the family portraits. Hee!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sandy on March 13, 2013
  9. OMG – the ‘WHAT’ at the beginning was a riot!! and goddamn I love the Motown Philly!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sara on March 13, 2013
  10. Love.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on March 13, 2013
  11. I had to google Motown Philly but as soon as I heard it I knew the song. Does that make me cooler than Gav?

    The flash mob was excellent – so bummed i couldn’t be a part of it because thanks to that mirror image video, I too know how to get my Thriller on.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Really? I mean…boyz II men. How do people not know this???

    (knowing thriller is a good party trick…even if you didn’t get to do it this week. STINKIN’ BACK)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sharon on March 13, 2013
  12. Awesome.

    And I am completely blown away (GAV) by the people who don’t know Motownphilly. I’m sad for them.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    I KNOW.

    I’m sad for them too.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Meghan on March 13, 2013
  13. Mowtown Philly! Oh, man.

    Love the flash mob, and you guys. SO wish I wasn’t on the other side of the country and could have made it. xo

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angella on March 13, 2013
  14. first, I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, GAV. VERY VERY VERY.

    second, i’m not sure i’ve mentioned it before, but Ali, that dress is amazing.

    [Reply]

    Comment by kat on March 13, 2013
  15. So, so awesome. xo
    And your dress was amazing.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Loukia on March 13, 2013
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