February 8 13

My kids typically choose the most inopportune times to have the most brain-bending conversations. Usually breakfast. I mean, it’s not uncommon for Josh to have questions about the process of being hanged, drawn, and quartered over a morning bowl of Cheerios. Sometimes we discuss the differences between macaroons and macarons (and my desire to eat exactly neither of them)—yes, Virginia, there *is* a difference as all Passover-celebrating Jews can attest to—while trying to fix the broken toaster that’s not so much broken as a little bit under the weather because a certain second grader melted her daddy’s compression shirt whilst trying to make a toaster waffle. Just this past week we had a full discussion about how eggs work and the differences between all the different types of eggs and how we can be sure that we won’t crack open an egg and find a baby chick inside…WHILE I AM FRYING EGGS IN THE MORNING.

My kids, man.

This morning, though. Those poor, sad not-snow day faces. They went to bed with visions of snow fights and snow angels in their heads. And they woke up to their wicked mother pulling the warm blankets off of their hibernate-y, snuggly bodies.


But *why* do we have to go to school today?

Because school is open. It’s not a snow day.


Yes. There’s lots of snow. But you can walk to school. And the district school board has announced on CP24 that it’s open. School’s open, you are going.

But the buses aren’t running.

But you don’t take the bus. In fact, I can see your school from our front porch.

But it’s going to be cold and wet.

You spent hours out on your backyard ice rink getting both cold and wet. AND you have boots, hats, mitts, snowpants, and coats.

But think of the teachers and their snowy, dangerous commutes!

But think of your mother, who basically hasn’t worked a Friday since 2012 on account of all of your strike days and PA days.

But Harry won’t be there. He gets a snow day.

Harry’s mother loves him more, obviously.

Does she ever.

Go to school. Make good choices. Smile more. At the very least, after school you can ask Harry if his mom is looking to adopt.

I just might.


This is the face of a suffering child. Clearly. 

I wish you could see my face right now…

Looks an awful lot like this.

high five!

  1. OH MY WORD. “But Emily’s mom lets her ____, so why can’t you let me?!” (Kaylie’s BFF’s name is Emily.) Something I hear ALL THE TIME. Sheesh.

    You are clearly a horrible parent. It’s written all over Josh’s face. And I’m just as horrendous. Just ask my girls. (I’m enjoying the time in my life where Preston thinks that the sun basically shines out my butt.)


    Comment by Jen Wilson on February 8, 2013
  2. You are an awful mother, sending children into the cold wetness of nature to get…cold and wet INVOLUNTARILY. The horror!


    ali replied on

    I know. I really am the worst. Heh.


    Comment by Arnebya on February 8, 2013
  3. Last night at a birthday party, my kid cried so hard that the other parents thought he was seriously hurt. The infraction? I had told him he couldn’t play video games after the party because we had to go home. The thing is, I probably would have caved if he hadn’t made such a SCENE, but at that point I had to stick to my guns.


    Comment by Megan @ Mama Bub on February 8, 2013
  4. Oh man, thinking there will be a snow day and there isn’t is the WORST! I’ve have that happen to me as an adult with work and been super disappointed. And pissed about the bottle of wine I drank the night before in celebration.


    Comment by Kristabella on February 8, 2013
  5. Gotta love those boys!

    Great Tina Fey face.


    Comment by Linda on February 8, 2013
  6. Did they walk barefoot uphill in the snow both ways? Because then it would be REALLY BAD.


    Comment by jodifur on February 8, 2013

Allowed tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>