September 12 12

So, I saw one of these things circulating on Pinterest. Or possibly Facebook. Or maybe even Twitter. It’s impossible to tell anymore, where I see all of the infographics. They are mixed in with the plethora of someecards (full of “that awkward moment”s and “—said no one, ever”s) and political statements and pictures of delicious foods (Nutella-Stuffed Brown Butter + Sea Salt Chocolate Chip Cookies, are you kidding me?) and political statements that are maybe, possibly, usually full of name-calling and half-truths. Also, the pictures of nail polish.

But, yes, this infographic.

It said something about if you are happy, do nothing, but if you are unhappy, fix something.

WAIT.

This makes no sense without the actual photo. Off to my good pal google.

And here’s the thing. I am so blissfully happy right now. I take a look at that graphic and I smile to myself and say, well, then, just keep doing whatever you’re doing, self…and things will be forever brilliant.

Why is it so hard to say it? To scream from the rooftops “YES! I AM HAPPY!” It’s as if admitting happiness somehow means that I’m doing this whole blogging thing wrong. Or something. Surely blogging is supposed to be about self-deprecation, right? The right thing to do is to tell you about the coffees I have too late at night that always seem like a good idea but end up with me watching infomercials about the CamiSecret (turn your bra into a fake tank top!) at 3am. The right thing to do is to tell you about my shattered teeth and my TMJ and my grinding addiction (that’s what she said) and the impressions I had to get at the dentist for my brand-new mouth guard (I’m a sexy beast, yo). The right thing to do is to tell you how I’m a crappy tooth fairy and how I dropped my phone in the toilet and where I stand politically and who I am voting for come election day.

(It’s President Obama, in case it matters.)

I’m really good at blogging the ridiculous, the train wrecks, the stuff that’s worthy of internet rubbernecking.

I’m just not as good at blogging the mundane, the boring, the justis.

Maybe it’s less interesting that I go to bed smiling every night and I wake up smiling every morning. Maybe it makes me less relatable somehow?

But, this happiness that I feel right now? It’s all a product of this journey, the one I have been chronicling here since 2004. It’s *because* of this blogging thing that I am so happy right now. It took so many changes to get here. It took too many times looking at the fake infographic (ARE YOU HAPPY?) in my head—too many NOs and I *want* to be happys to finally figure out that if I want to be happy, I have to work to GET HAPPY.

I was unhappy with my job, my commute, my entire career situation. So, I made a huge leap. And it paid off, eleven-fold.

I was unhappy with my children’s school situation. So, I made another huge leap. And I am brought to tears every time I talk about how well all three of my kids are doing this year.

I was unhappy with my health, my body, my bones. So, I joined a gym and once a week at 5:30am, I allow a trainer named Antonio to kick my ass and make me do hundreds of dreaded squats and burpees.

I was unhappy to not have a passionate passion in life, so I picked up my camera, turned it off of auto, and learned the crap out of how to use it. And now it’s paying off, and not just in actual dollars.

I was unhappy that I was relying on so much medication to deal with my anxiety, and so I am learning new coping skills, and have been off of Xanax for exactly six months.

So, I hope you don’t think less of me because I’m happy. I’ll hope you’ll continue to read, even if sometimes it’s mundane, boring, and justis. Because even though some of it is boring, I still manage to have my skirts fly up to earlobes when walking over downtown grates, and I still manage to stick my feet (both of ’em) into my mouth an awful lot and I still can’t sit down on a toilet seat or walk down a flight of steps without looking like my Bubbie (damn squats).

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  1. I am thrilled you’re happy. And I’ll be reading no matter what you write about.

    Comment by Meghan on September 12, 2012
  2. Happy is good.

    I can’t honestly say I am ‘happy’ – but I try every day to find some happy. And it always has to do with the munchkin and usually has something to do with something she has said to me.

    Like “My bum doesn’t like the naughty step.”

    How can you be unhappy when you hear something like that?

    Comment by Chantal on September 12, 2012
  3. I LOVE happy Ali! 🙂

    Comment by Allison Zapata on September 12, 2012
  4. I am happy for the emotional place you are at. I admire the work in the journey to get there!

    Comment by Rae Ann on September 12, 2012
  5. Hooray for happiness! I’m happy FOR you!

    I think that is why I don’t blog as much. I feel like I have so much to enjoy in life, and that is boring to read, so I’d rather spend my time enjoying life.

    Comment by Kristabella on September 12, 2012
  6. Happiness is not overrated. I actually wrote a happiness post too. It’s an amazing feeling to be happy. I’m happy you’re happy.

    Comment by mara on September 12, 2012
  7. I don’t think happy is boring.
    I think happy is fantastic. And I get kind of tired of feeling like people have to find the worst in life to blog about.
    I love reading what you’ve been writing lately.
    In some ways I feel like you’ve figured out what i’ve been trying to figure out for awhile now (job/kids’school) but on the other hand i’m right where you are figuring out fitness (I really just ran a 13k race and typing that makes me cry) and I also kicked some anxiety meds.
    So … be happy 🙂 I like to know if you keep trying it does make sense.

    Comment by Laural on September 12, 2012
  8. I love your post and I love to hear that you are so happy. I actually got called out on facebook once because my posts were too upbeat and I couldn’t fathom why those people only seemed to enjoy hearing about the crappy things that happen. Yes some days are hard but if we can’t find even a little bit of joy to share with others then how is it all worth it?

    Comment by Vi on September 12, 2012
  9. I LOVE that you are so happy. I love even more than it inspired me to make the big changes and take a few leaps of my own.

    Comment by Jen on September 12, 2012
  10. See, it’s posts like this one here that make me feel happy just to know you. Just you watch — this one’s a difference-maker.

    Comment by Tamara on September 12, 2012
  11. Do you know what? I am happy that you are happy. I really do love reading everything on this blog, the good, the bad, and the in-between. You have been through a lot of changes the past few months (new job, new work-from-home arrangement, new school for the kids) and it sounds like it’s working out really well and I think that is wonderful. It’s inspiring to someone like me who HATES change to read about how you’ve taken the bull by the horns and made changes that have benefitted you and your family. And by the way, I too am a teeth-grinder extraordinaire. I too have a sexy mouth-guard and while it looks frightful, I have noticed that it has really cut down on the number of headaches I used to get.

    Comment by Jen on September 13, 2012
  12. First, congrats on getting off the Xanax I only recently started taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. I’d love to get off some or all of them someday. I’m doing the work to get there, so hopefully.

    Second, I read you blog almost ever day, you are always funny even on the mundane. I for one like hearing about happy.

    Comment by Corey Feldman on September 13, 2012
  13. Your happy posts are just as interesting and funny as your flushed phone posts. We’re all striving for happy.

    Comment by Kat on September 13, 2012
  14. Yay Ali! I like your blog no matter what. And to tell you the truth I like it better reading happiness. Makes me think there’s hope for me yet.
    I read the “info-graphic” and they make it seem pretty simple. Change something. Wtf do I change? I don’t even know where to start.
    I’m glad to hear how well you’re doing, you’ve always been a hard worker and I think it’s awesome.

    Comment by monstergirlee on September 14, 2012
  15. I’m so glad your happy. I won’t quit reading. If anything, it gives me hope that I too can obtain this happiness!

    Comment by Gamanda on September 18, 2012
  16. […] My life is so, so good right now. […]

    Pingback by » Blueish Cheaper Than Therapy on September 24, 2012
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