Confession: There is little I loathe more than getting a pedicure.

I know. I’ll just hand over my female card right now, then, shall I? Because, you know, after I confessed that I’m a colossal failure when it comes to applying eyeliner, I think people were starting to wonder. And it’s not even just the liquid stuff either. The moment I bring that pencil towards my eye I think exactly two things: a) I could never ever ever have any kind of eye surgery and b) this is going to end way more lady-of-the-nightish than I’m hoping for.

But. Yes. Pedicures. A necessary evil in order to wear sandals in the summer. I have a thing about feet—I don’t like yours {shudder} and I really don’t like mine. I don’t like people touching them and judging them in another language. Because you *know* that this is what they are doing—mocking my midget-sized toes. I have seen Seinfeld you know. I actually find the whole process too ticklish and too painful, and I can never get that stupid massage chair to be a pleasurable experience and not, you know, like a ride at Canada’s Wonderland.

It’s also something I do for my kids, because they love it.

You can put it up there with playing Clue and watching Full House and going to the park.

Speaking of Clue, last night we played an entire game before realizing that a user error (read: ME) meant that there were two rooms and no weapon in the confidential manilla envelope. The fact that none of us won was a good lesson for us to learn. At least that’s what I kept telling myself. Sure, I didn’t win—but I also didn’t lose either! It also gave us a good time to talk about our hopes and dreams for the future because the best conversations I have with my kids are when they aren’t parked in front of screens (they are experts in the art of selective hearing)

Emily was easy. She’s already on the road to fulfilling her dreams. Ever since she could use words and gestures, she has been a performer. We always thought the “I want to be a movie star!” dreams that every kid has at some point in time would just be a passing phase. And then it didn’t go away. It just didn’t. At some point in time my opinion changed from I hope she grows out of this to  I really hope I can help her make her dreams come true. Because isn’t that our job as parents, really? To help guide our children in this world?

Well, I promised her that if she got the role of Dorothy in Wizard of Oz that we would discuss the word AGENT. And then, well, I promised her that if she got the role of Mary Poppins in Mary Poppins that we would further discuss it.

And she did it.

Of course she did. 

And then somehow we found ourselves memorizing sides and performing in front of agents and signing papers and booking headshot photography sessions.

So I can help make her dreams come true.

Isabella’s dreams are a little trickier.

“I would like to be the Cake Boss.”

“But there already IS a Cake Boss.”

“Maybe I can be his assistant. But I will be different. Like, I could dress like Sophia Grace and Rosie, but bake cakes and cupcakes and pies and Cannolis. Mmmm. Cannolis.”

“So, like, Toddlers and Tiaras meets Cake Boss.”

“Yes, Mama, Tiara Boss!”

And Josh’s dreams…well.

“Mad Scientist. Obviously.”

“I’m not sure that’s a real thing.”

“OH IT’S REAL, MAMA.”

“Right. Of course it is. Maybe you’ll invent a time machine out of our minivan.”

“OR OUT OF A DELOREAN.”

Meet my children, will you?

The Actress, the Tiara Boss, and Doc Brown.