May 16 12

“I can’t believe I’m sending my child to school dressed like a ragamuffin!”

“I am so perturbed right now, Ali, I’m going to sell you to the gypsies.”

“Do you know how many hours I have to work to pay for this closet full of clothing that you never wear?”

“I have been working like a slave all day!”

“Do not make me pull this car over!!!”

“Were you raised in a barn?”

“Because I said so!”

“If [insert friend name here] jumped off a bridge, would you do that too?”

“I have had it up to HERE!”

“You cannot go out with wet hair—you will catch a cold!”

—Ali’s mom, circa anywhere between 1978 and today.


I always laugh about the go-to Momisms. My mom isn’t just the person who fixes my bra straps, you know. She was the queen of the one liners!

Apparently, I was a cold-catching wet-haired ragamuffin who was getting sold to the gypsies. Also, I never wore any of my clothes—and I was clearly raised in a barn.

Sold to the gypsies?

Really?! Is that a thing? Did people actually get sold to the gypsies? I remember that once my mom told me that I had to change my outfit because I looked like Omar the Tentmaker, and I’m still—to this day—scratching my head over this one.

Omar? Is that you?

So, I laugh.

And yet.

I found myself sending Miss Isabella to school this morning in a green sundress, a pair of purple-flowered sandals, a giant orange headband, a too-small white cardigan, and a too-large polka dotted hoodie. Of course, at age 6, she is allowed her freedom of wardrobe, and so I don’t make too much of a fuss over what she chooses to wear.

And then, it just poured out of my mouth.

“I can’t believe I’m sending my child to school dressed like a ragamuffin!”

I guess I better brush up on my one-liners.

And figure out who the heck Omar the Tentmaker is…

Because, well, apparently I am my mother.

  1. The other day I actually said to Chase, “do you want me to paddle your butt right here in front of everyone?”

    Then I promptly fell over and died because I am also my mother.


    Comment by Jen on May 16, 2012
  2. LOL. I so get it.

    What is it with gypsies? My mom always used to say that too.


    Comment by OHmommy on May 16, 2012
  3. Those gypsies apparently need a LOT of bodies. Disturbing.


    Comment by Sweetney on May 16, 2012
  4. Oh, the wet hair one. My Gram will still say that to me. At almost 35. Like I haven’t learned anything about how you get a cold.

    My favorite is that we were always told not to sleep with a fan blowing on you because you’d get a stiff neck.

    What now???


    ali replied on

    I have not heard the fan blowing one. That’s a GOOD ONE. As in, ridiculously absurd ;)


    Comment by Kristabella on May 16, 2012
  5. Do we have the same mom?


    ali replied on

    It’s possible. I mean, we are basically twins.


    Avitable replied on

    I know!


    Comment by Avitable on May 16, 2012
  6. Ok I’m pretty sure my mom never used the word ragamuffin all of the rest I got some very similar variation on myself. Sadly I find myself saying some of them to my kids. OK not the gypsy one, but some of the others…


    Comment by Corey Feldman on May 16, 2012
  7. “Ragamuffin” was something my grandmother used to say, and I always thought it was the most hilarious thing!

    I tend to crack up after I say a “momism,” and I kind of love it a little. It help put things in perspective a little, and take myself a little less seriously.

    Plus, I’m pretty sure “Because I said so!” is a rite of passage!


    Comment by Jen on May 17, 2012

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