May 16 12

“I can’t believe I’m sending my child to school dressed like a ragamuffin!”

“I am so perturbed right now, Ali, I’m going to sell you to the gypsies.”

“Do you know how many hours I have to work to pay for this closet full of clothing that you never wear?”

“I have been working like a slave all day!”

“Do not make me pull this car over!!!”

“Were you raised in a barn?”

“Because I said so!”

“If [insert friend name here] jumped off a bridge, would you do that too?”

“I have had it up to HERE!”

“You cannot go out with wet hair—you will catch a cold!”

—Ali’s mom, circa anywhere between 1978 and today.

 

I always laugh about the go-to Momisms. My mom isn’t just the person who fixes my bra straps, you know. She was the queen of the one liners!

Apparently, I was a cold-catching wet-haired ragamuffin who was getting sold to the gypsies. Also, I never wore any of my clothes—and I was clearly raised in a barn.

Sold to the gypsies?

Really?! Is that a thing? Did people actually get sold to the gypsies? I remember that once my mom told me that I had to change my outfit because I looked like Omar the Tentmaker, and I’m still—to this day—scratching my head over this one.

Omar? Is that you?

So, I laugh.

And yet.

I found myself sending Miss Isabella to school this morning in a green sundress, a pair of purple-flowered sandals, a giant orange headband, a too-small white cardigan, and a too-large polka dotted hoodie. Of course, at age 6, she is allowed her freedom of wardrobe, and so I don’t make too much of a fuss over what she chooses to wear.

And then, it just poured out of my mouth.

“I can’t believe I’m sending my child to school dressed like a ragamuffin!”

I guess I better brush up on my one-liners.

And figure out who the heck Omar the Tentmaker is…

Because, well, apparently I am my mother.

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  1. The other day I actually said to Chase, “do you want me to paddle your butt right here in front of everyone?”

    Then I promptly fell over and died because I am also my mother.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on May 16, 2012
  2. LOL. I so get it.

    What is it with gypsies? My mom always used to say that too.

    [Reply]

    Comment by OHmommy on May 16, 2012
  3. Those gypsies apparently need a LOT of bodies. Disturbing.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sweetney on May 16, 2012
  4. Oh, the wet hair one. My Gram will still say that to me. At almost 35. Like I haven’t learned anything about how you get a cold.

    My favorite is that we were always told not to sleep with a fan blowing on you because you’d get a stiff neck.

    What now???

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    I have not heard the fan blowing one. That’s a GOOD ONE. As in, ridiculously absurd ;)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on May 16, 2012
  5. Do we have the same mom?

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    It’s possible. I mean, we are basically twins.

    [Reply]

    Avitable replied on

    I know!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Avitable on May 16, 2012
  6. Ok I’m pretty sure my mom never used the word ragamuffin all of the rest I got some very similar variation on myself. Sadly I find myself saying some of them to my kids. OK not the gypsy one, but some of the others…

    [Reply]

    Comment by Corey Feldman on May 16, 2012
  7. “Ragamuffin” was something my grandmother used to say, and I always thought it was the most hilarious thing!

    I tend to crack up after I say a “momism,” and I kind of love it a little. It help put things in perspective a little, and take myself a little less seriously.

    Plus, I’m pretty sure “Because I said so!” is a rite of passage!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on May 17, 2012
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