March 23 12

My sense of smell these days, you guys.

I swear to god, if I didn’t absolutely/positively/without any possible room for doubt KNOW for sure that I wasn’t pregnant, you might be able to convince me that I was pregnant.

(I am not.)

But right now? Everything smells. The world is a smelly, smelly place.

My neighbor—when she was pregnant—used to gag every time it rained. She claimed that she could smell THE WORMS. I was pretty sure that she was batshit out-of-her-mind crazy.

And now I totally get it.

Because I can smell it all today, after the rain. The grass, the gross old water smell, and, yes, the worms.

I can’t drink the water from the fridge because it smells like stale water. I can’t eat off of our dishes and use our silverware because they smell like…something I just can’t put my finger on, but it’s gross. And I seriously cannot even be in the same room as my dog. I’m frightening everyone in my family right now with tales of how the backyard smells too much like tobasco and how the Tide is making my clothing smell like old people, and my nanny is starting to wonder why I am constantly sniffing the plates and the glasses.

I’m also about thisclose to becoming a vegetarian.

(Not pregnant. I swear.)

This would totally be my superpower.

I can tell you what child has recently eaten Cheerios. I could sniff out every woman at the supermarket who wears Chanel #5. I can tell you when kids have been playing outside.

That I-just-played-outside-sweat-smell on kids? Oh my god. 

Gag.

I’m OLFACTORY GIRL!

What?!? It’s not any lamer than Wonder Woman or The Green Lantern…

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  1. There is a Stones song there
    “Waiting for a girl who’s got curlers in her hair
    Waiting for a girl she has no money anywhere
    We get buses everywhere
    Waiting for (ol)factory girl”

    I know exactly how you feel. I can smell crazy things like heat, like when my in laws had the wrong electrical sockets in their house, I could smell it. Yes,my husband (and now probably others) think I am nuts but it stinks..ahah literally.

    Embrace your power, get a cape, save the world from stinky thing! Go!!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Suzanne on March 23, 2012
  2. The other day, my whole neighbourhood smelled like melty cheese whiz. Only to me though. I bet you would have smelled it too, and then my husband would have had to stop looking at me like I was crazy. You know… for a little while.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jessica on March 23, 2012
  3. I am totally your sidekick, Aroma Mater!
    The other day I almost choked on the ‘banana smell of a drycleaner shop’.
    See you later at the Halls of Justice. xo

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kat on March 23, 2012
  4. You and my hubs can go annoy each other, because he is olfactory-man. Also, I sometimes smell burnt toast. But, that’s not good, right?

    [Reply]

    Comment by mara on March 23, 2012
  5. I am with you only I’ve never seen it as a super power. I’ve always seen it as a curse! Glass 1/2 empty I guess .

    [Reply]

    Comment by K on March 23, 2012
  6. OLFACTORY GIRL – cracking up over here!

    I was one of the pregnant women with super smell. I almost passed out on a streetcar when a person who hadn’t bathed in about a month, stood beside me.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sharon on March 23, 2012
  7. Atlanta smells like worms when it rains. I’m glad it’s not just me who recognizes this worm smell. I was starting to worry.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on March 23, 2012
  8. I just spit.. SO funny. I’m with you though. I can…unfortunately…smell when someone has a cavity. *shiver.
    Don’t get me started on when I was pregnant! Ok, now I’m started. I could smell water and having a shower was torture. I still can’t use Herbal Essences shampoo.
    Try putting your favourite smelling hand cream on your upper lip. I think I saw that in a cop movie once…ya know, before they entered a murder scene. lol.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Suzanne on March 23, 2012
  9. Been there – so not pleasant. It first happened during my pregnancies, but since having my second, I’ve experienced my souped-up smeller a couple times. Thank GOD it only lasts a day or two. My thought is always, “THIS is how my dog has to live EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE?!”

    [Reply]

    Comment by Larita on March 23, 2012
  10. so pregnant. Stop denying…

    [Reply]

    Comment by designhermomma on March 23, 2012
  11. Olfactory Girl! You could be part of the Mystery Men superheroes. My husband sees colours when he hears loud noises. It’s all about out of the box powers nowadays.

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    Comment by Kat on March 23, 2012
  12. Isn’t it a kind of smell disorder or something? he, he

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    Comment by Maricris @ SittingAround on March 25, 2012
  13. I think i can understand you! My friend, is pregnant, and she can smell like everything! She is making her husband crazy, and as for i think it is cool. Very nice of you to share this with us!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sally Thompson on March 26, 2012
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