February 27 12

Well, this is a fun 2012 Oscars game.

Perhaps not quite as fun as the Scorsese drinking game, but this one leaves you feeling a little less woozy and pukey on the other end. Bonus!

So, it’s no secret that I always have high hopes for fashion at the Oscars. It’s THE most important night for you if you work in film. It’s about glam, it’s about beauty, and it’s about walking that red carpet without getting doused with ashes by The Dictator. I was kind of, well, underwhelmed last night.

Octavia Spencer and Viola Davis were stunning, I thought.

And I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who didn’t like Rooney Mara’s sososososevere look and I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who kind of DID like Berenice Bejo’s mint green dress and bang-braid emsemble.

Mostly though, with the exception of Angelina Jolie’s leg, it was a night of Bat-Mitzvah dresses (See: Natalie Portman), Bridesmaid dresses (See: Maya Rudolph), and Mother-of-the-Bride dresses (See: Sandra Bullock). It was a night of NEAR-MISSES.

Cases in point:

I wanted to love Michelle Williams, but I found the midsection of her dress to be just a wee bit problematic for me. I mean, WHAT WAS IT? Why was it there? Was it a skirt? See Also: Tina Fey. She seemed to have a matching mid-section frilly tutu-like addition to her dress. I really hope this doesn’t become A THING.

I wanted to love Gwyneth Paltrow. BUT SHE WORE A CAPE. And she’s not a superhero. Also, her hair was not okay. Had she just gone to the gym before she arrived on the red carpet?

I wanted to love Emma Stone, but I was too confused by the giant bow that was eating her face. The color was fabulous, the fit of the dress at her waist was lovely. But the bow. THE BOW.

I wanted to love Natalie Portman, but I’m fairly certain she was channeling Natalie Portman in 1990. Was this her Bat Mitzvah dress? I have two words for you that probably should never accompany your Oscar dress: POLKA DOTS. Also, it looks like she stole the necklace from her mother’s jewelry box. In 1984.

I wanted to love Kristen Wiig. I REALLY did. Because I think the shape of the dress is just perfect. It fit her perfectly—there were no signs of her hipbones (I’m looking at you, Rooney Mara) or her Spanx (I’m looking at you, Cameron Diaz). But the color is just so drab. She could have chosen A COLOR or gone with white, like everyone else.

What about you?

Who did you like?

Who did you hate?

Who did you REALLY WANT TO LIKE BUT?

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  1. I actually loved Kristen Wiig- I thought she looked amazing. Wish I could pull off a dress like that!

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    I think had it been in any other color than EXACTLY HER SKIN TONE I would have loved it.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Gemini-Girl on February 27, 2012
  2. I am trying to ignore the diamond old fashioned necklace that didn’t really go with Natalie Portman’s dress, because I voted her Best Dressed in MY Oscar’s last night. And I said the SAME THING about Michelle Williams in my Oscar post, TOO!!! OMG.
    And I hated Sandra’s dress!

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    BUt, but, but…POLKA DOTS.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Loukia on February 27, 2012
  3. That whole shirt thing in the middle of the dress is a thing on at least one dress every award season.

    Also, it’s a Caroline Herrera thing, which was who Tina was wearing. I will never understand it. EVER.

    I was underwhelmed by everyone, really. Kind of blah.

    [Reply]

    Kristabella replied on

    shirt = skirt

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    It’s disappointing…because I think I would have liked both Tina’s and Michelle’s dresses without the skirt thing. NAY. I would have loved Michelle’s.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on February 27, 2012
  4. I just realized I loved how Tina Fey looked but not Michelle and their dressed are similar! Huh. I am weird.

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    HA! That’s so interesting, actually!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Loukia on February 27, 2012
  5. I really really wanted to like Emma Stone, maybe if the bow was a bit smaller. I don’t know.

    I kind of loved Natalie Portman’s polka dots.

    I am still unsure about Viola Davis and her ensemble. I think I liked it.

    Angelina Jolie is an idiot. A bland, dull idiot.

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    I just don’t think polka dots belong at The Academy Awards.
    save it for the SAGs or the Golden Globes, yanno?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on February 27, 2012
  6. I didn’t get to watch any of it – the kids made me watch Superman with them instead. :(

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angella on February 27, 2012
  7. I’m with you on Rooney Mara’s dress. I did not like it at all.

    I think my favourite dress was Judy Greer’s.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Danielle on February 27, 2012
  8. Esperanza Spalding. I could have worn that dress. Would have shown off the cutest part of my body…my collarbones! She was ethereal in dress and in song.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Louise on February 27, 2012
  9. Haha, I didn’t watch them, but I just read another blog that was all “I love Emma Stones dress and need one exactly like it with a bow just as big” … to each their own I guess!
    Just from the pictures on here, I really like Kristen Wiig’s. Even if it matches her skin!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amy on February 27, 2012
  10. I loved Tina Fey’s and Natalie Portman’s dresses and I haaated Berenice Bejo’s mint green dress.

    And this is why you’re the fashion maven and I ask YOU for advice.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on February 28, 2012
  11. The “skirt” thing on Michelle Williams dress is called a peplum, and I thought she was lovely. I didn’t catch Tina Fey. When I saw Sandra Bullock, I told my husband it looked like some rhinestone studded spiders crawled up on her shoulders to die.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Corey on February 28, 2012
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