I just posted this on my daughter’s Facebook wall.
She’s just three weeks shy of 11.
And then I cried like an infant.
My daughter, who is not quite 11, came to me a few weeks ago to tell me that she and some friends were planning to perform an Adele song at her school’s talent show. She and a friend spent hours in our empty room/photo studio/dance studio choreographing. They were adorable. Yesterday after school she went to a friend’s house to practice this dance. There were five of them, so they wanted it perfect before talent day.
She came home distraught.
“My dance is a mess. We had the perfect dance and then they changed the song and the dance and now everything’s crazy.”
“What song did they change it to?”
“I don’t know. Some Chris Brown song.”
“Emily. Stop right there. We need to talk.”
AND THEN WE HAD THE TALK.
I began by telling her that Chris Brown is basically the worst human being on the planet right now and I ended by pulling up some photos of Rihanna’s face on the internet.
But it was an important lesson for my daughter to learn.
It was important for her to understand that hitting women is NEVER okay.
It was important for her to understand that one of my very good friends is a survivor. And she is out there talking to children because there’s little-to-no awareness in schools right now.
It was important for her to understand that performing a Chris Brown song is not just “about some song with a catchy tune.” It makes a statement; a statement that I cannot support.
Emily listened. She asked questions. I answered them.
And then she told her friends that she couldn’t do the song.
Because she knows. She gets it.
Unfortunately, her friends do not. Some of them told her she was being bitchy and selfish and that she should just do the song because it’s just a song. Some of them told her they were mad at her for ruining their group.
And yet, she continued to hold her ground.
She said no.
I could not be more proud of my daughter right now. And more sad that her friends are giving her such a hard time. She is doing the right thing, and yet she feels awful about it because she let everybody in her group down, and her friends are mad at her. I hope her friends come around soon.