February 10 12

I’m not even 100% certain of what just happened here.

All I know is that last night I went to sleep at 8pm, before any of my children.

I woke up at 7am, hoping to feel refreshed and ready to kick this sick’s asshole. Only, well, I didn’t. Coughs, sneezes, runny nose, aches, pains, chills, sweats, post-nasal drip, nausea. They are all still here, firmly planted in stick-around mode. I tried to take something, only my mom took what was left of the Tylenol cold (daytime and nighttime) with her. I don’t really begrudge her for this, since she did clean up Isabella’s vomit this week. Eye for an eye, or something.

Knowing that no productivity of any kind would happen today without the aid of sweet, sweet drugs, I threw on my jacket and boots and headed out to find a Shoppers Drug Mart that was open at 7:30 in the morning. I went to three. Closed, closed, closed. All three.

And that was how I ended up at Walmart at 7:50 in the morning on a Friday.

I’m my goddamn snowman pajamas.

This goes against everything I stand for in life.

I am a big believer in two very important things.

1. Leggings are not pants.

2. Pajama pants (particularly those made of flannel) are not pants.

Pants are pants. Leggings are leggings. Pajamas are pajamas. They are all worn differently. Pajamas, by design, are meant TO SLEEP IN. I will even go out on a limb to say that pajama pants are appropriate as lounge-wear, but really this depends on who could possibly drop by while you are  partaking in said lounging. If, say, your bff is coming over, pajamas are okay. If, say, the POTUS is coming over…pajamas are NOT okay. So, there’s a scale there. From BFF to Obama.

But out in the fresh air? NEVER OKAY. Not to school, not to the mall, not to the movies. Only, that’s all I seem to see these days—teens replacing actual clothing with their PJs. Why? Why do they do this? Are real clothes that constricting?

And yet, here I am, in my toque and coat and greasy hair and Uggs…AND PAJAMA pants. And not just any pajamas, oh no, these ones are covered in snowmen in colorful scarves and giant snowflakes. (Merry Christmas!)

*Hangs head in shame*

I’ll probably end up on that people of Wal-mart website now.

But at least I have my drugs.

So that’s something.

  1. I do agree on the pajama pants thing … I see lots of girls in my son’s school wearing them! Feel better soon!

    Comment by Laurie on February 10, 2012
  2. Oh no, you were WAY too over dressed for the People of Walmart site!
    PS..I have blue ones with Santas on them. I’ve had them for six years and I wear them all the time. And just to make you feel better, if I was sick and in need of drugs I would march myself right into the store and if anyone looked at me sideways I would cough in their general direction.

    Feel Better!

    Comment by Kelly on February 10, 2012
  3. First off, your pajama wearing was totally acceptable and appropriate. If you are sick and on the search for drugs then by all means, wear your snowman pjs! I do not understand how/why so many people wear pajamas, leggings, and slippers outside to do normal everyday things, like go to work, or school. I’m a grad student so I see a lot of pj and slipper wearing on a daily basis because undergrads apparently do not know how to put on a pair of jeans or tie their shoes. Even my fellow grad students wear pajamas and slippers to go to class or do their research. It’s absolutely ridiculous and pisses me off on a daily basis. My mother taught me how to dress when you go out in public. If you’re sick then you’re allowed to wear whatever keeps you comfortable, but if you’re healthy, then put on some real freaking pants and tie your goddamn shoes! *end rant* I apologize for this, it’s been bothering the hell out of me lately lol. Hope you feel better soon!

    Comment by Andrea on February 10, 2012
  4. Hehe. I think you get a pass. I don’t own any pajama pants (don’t wear ‘em), but I’ve been bringing Liliana to school in my sweats lately because my one pair of jeans that fits got chocolatey fingers on them and if I had to choose between chocolatey jeans and sweats, I’ll choose sweats every time. Also, I need to go shopping.

    alimartell replied on

    WAit. What do you sleep in?

    Avitable replied on

    You know, a lot of people just sleep in underwear or naked.

    Mrs. Wilson replied on

    That is exactly what I sleep in. (Boy shorts) underwear and a tank top or sports bra. I can’t stand being too covered up when I’m sleeping.

    Comment by Mrs. Wilson on February 10, 2012
  5. Pajama pants and Uggs. I think I just read a post about that somewhere. Hmm. But at least you can self-medicate now.

    Comment by Kat on February 10, 2012
  6. Wearing pajamas when you’re sick as a dog is okay. Then it’s very obvious that this is not the normal state of affairs, and everyone knows that if you weren’t dripping snot and feeling like barf you would definitely be wearing real pants. Also it was before 8:00. There’s some loophole about that too; if it had been noon, that would be a whole different story.

    Comment by Jessica on February 10, 2012
  7. You guys have had a rough week! Feel better!!!!!!!

    alimartell replied on

    I don’t know what you’re talking about. My week was AWESOME. hahaha.

    Comment by adina on February 10, 2012
  8. “Kick this sick’s asshole” made me laugh.

    alimartell replied on

    This is why we are friends.
    Because you notice the things most people just skim over :)

    Avitable replied on


    Comment by Avitable on February 10, 2012
  9. Once, a few months ago, when my kids and I were all sick…I did this. Except it was at 9pm and I took all three kids in PJ’s too. It was the first time in my life I’d done it.

    I’ll be honest, I almost went to Target, because that is where I shop. But I looked at us and I figured if I was going to go out past bedtime with three coughing kids in PJ’s, well then we belonged at Walmart. Ha.

    I hope you get to feeling better soon.

    Comment by Issa on February 10, 2012
  10. My mom does this. All the time. It is a good thing I never go out with her like that.

    I am embarrassed when I leave my house Sunday mornings to go down to the lobby in my PJS pants to get my newspaper. Not embarrassed enough to change, but still. But I justify it because I don’t actually go outside.

    Comment by Kristabella on February 10, 2012
  11. I *MAY* have worn leopard-print leggings and a cut-up Los Angeles Raiders sweatshirt (that’s right, I said LA – I was historically accurate in my 80s gear) to Wal-Mart before a Halloween party one year. On the one hand, Halloween wasn’t for another week so I should NOT have been wearing that in public … on the other hand, I kind of felt like I fit in.

    Comment by Jen on February 10, 2012
  12. Well at least you fit right in? ;)

    Comment by Loukia on February 14, 2012
  13. [...] And I make no apologies for judging you if you are wearing flannel PJ pants as pants. [...]

    Pingback by » To Be Immediately Stricken From Lexicon: Dirty Mom Cheaper Than Therapy on February 16, 2012
  14. [...] Like that time I went to Wal-Mart in my red snowman pajamas. [...]

    Pingback by » Emergency Cereal. Cheaper Than Therapy on March 7, 2012

The comments are closed.