I’m not even 100% certain of what just happened here.
All I know is that last night I went to sleep at 8pm, before any of my children.
I woke up at 7am, hoping to feel refreshed and ready to kick this sick’s asshole. Only, well, I didn’t. Coughs, sneezes, runny nose, aches, pains, chills, sweats, post-nasal drip, nausea. They are all still here, firmly planted in stick-around mode. I tried to take something, only my mom took what was left of the Tylenol cold (daytime and nighttime) with her. I don’t really begrudge her for this, since she did clean up Isabella’s vomit this week. Eye for an eye, or something.
Knowing that noÂ productivityÂ of any kind would happen today without the aid of sweet, sweet drugs, I threw on my jacket and boots and headed out to find a Shoppers Drug Mart that was open at 7:30 in the morning. I went to three. Closed, closed, closed. All three.
And that was how I ended up at Walmart at 7:50 in the morning on a Friday.
I’m my goddamn snowman pajamas.
This goes against everything I stand for in life.
I am a big believer in two very important things.
2. Pajama pants (particularly those made of flannel) are not pants.
Pants are pants. Leggings are leggings.Â PajamasÂ areÂ pajamas. They are all worn differently. Pajamas, by design, are meant TO SLEEP IN. I will even go out on a limb to say that pajama pants are appropriate as lounge-wear, but really this depends on who could possibly drop by while you are Â partaking in said lounging. If, say, your bff is coming over, pajamas are okay. If, say, the POTUS is coming over…pajamas are NOT okay. So, there’s a scale there. From BFF to Obama.
But out in the fresh air? NEVER OKAY. Not to school, not to the mall, not to the movies. Only, that’s all I seem to see these daysâ€”teens replacing actual clothing with their PJs. Why? Why do they do this? Are real clothes that constricting?
And yet, here I am, in my toque and coat and greasy hair and Uggs…AND PAJAMA pants. And not just any pajamas, oh no, these ones are covered in snowmen in colorful scarves and giant snowflakes. (Merry Christmas!)
*Hangs head in shame*
I’ll probably end up on that people of Wal-mart website now.
But at least I have my drugs.
So that’s something.