February 9 12

It should come as no surprise to any of you that I often partake in things that are just so ridiculous.

I’m that person. “Only you, Ali. Only you.”

So, the fact that I found myself this week with half of my body inside of my mini-van and half of my body running beside my mini-van as it flew backwards out of my driveway and onto my street really shouldn’t be shocking to you. Yes. That happened. It was a move only Nadia Comaneci could pull off. It was really contortiony, I swear. I actually can’t even be certain HOW it happened. One minute I was hoisting Isabella out of the car (even though she is six years old and doesn’t need hoisting of any kind but she tends to be super sluggish and I have zero patience when it comes to car dismounting, so hoisting it was) and grabbing my coffee that was bigger than my head.

And then the next minute my car—that had been safely in park—had moved (ITSELF. Since when are cars allowed to make their own decisions?) into neutral and was moving backwards out of my driveway.

With my body still inside of it. 

(Whee! A ride!)

So, I rode it out until the van hit the curb on the other side of the street.

I realized that all of my body was still intact, and my giant coffee was still in my hand.

And then I saw her out of the corner of my eye.

The woman—in the fur coat—who had witnessed the entire thing. She stood on the sidewalk and watched my minivan try to escape my clutches whilst pulling me along with it.

AND THEN JUST KEPT ON WALKING.

At first I was annoyed and was all, “Hey! Why isn’t she holding up one of those perfect ten cards? I mean, I nailed the shit out of that dismount! And why aren’t they playing Nadia’s theme?”

And then I was really upset and was all, “Wait a minute. This woman just watched this happen. Just stood there while all of this was going on. And then walked away. She didn’t even ask me if I was okay.”

She just kept on walking.

WHO DOES THAT?!

She’s was probably going home to tweet and facebook about the wee woman she just watched van-surf down the street of her neighborhood…

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  1. Maybe she thought you were rehearsing your routine. Or she was really jealous of your giant coffee. And grace.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kat on February 9, 2012
  2. She was probably overcome with emotion at the athletic brilliance she just witnessed. The question is, was the emotion joy, humour, bewilderment, fear… Maybe she was calling her realtor to get her house on the market fast. :)

    Glad you, the Kidlette and the coffee were ok.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Steve aka @greenleafwood on February 9, 2012
  3. She was probably running off to blog about it. That, or she was high on goofballs.

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    Comment by DogsOnDrugs.com on February 9, 2012
  4. Seriously, only you. Or me. Because my parking brake was not working once. I started my stick shift car, with the parking brake on and got out of the car to scrape ice off the windows. And as I was standing there, the car started rolling backwards and ROLLED OVER MY FOOT.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on February 9, 2012
  5. Did you say fur coat? That right there says it all ;-)

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    Comment by CinnamonGirl on February 9, 2012
  6. No. Really? She didn’t even ask you if you were ok? What a piece of work. One day my mom was walking our family dog and she came across one of our neighbours lying on the sidewalk, clutching her ankle. It turned out the neighbour had slipped on ice and fell while walking her dog and had actually broken her ankle. While she was lying there, in pain and unable to move, FOUR cars passed by, and not a single one of them offered to help. There was no question that they had seen her, because all of them slowed, but quickly sped off as they made eye contact. Disgusting!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on February 9, 2012
  7. At least she wasn’t recording it on her phone and posting it on YouTube.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Danielle on February 9, 2012
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