January 25 12

“You never finish anything you start!”

“What about the PTA?”

“You quit!”

“Well, that was just because it conflicted with Save the Whales.”

“Uh huh. Then what happened?”

“Well, I, uh, thought Hands Across America was more important.”

“Well I rest my case!”

I’m really awesome at the whole starting part. Because, well, that is the easy part; the fun part. I get pumped about joining the gym, looking at all the shiny equipment that it going to give me Jessica Biel’s arms. I get pumped about all of the great upbeat music I am going to download. I get pumped about water bottles and spandex and sports bras and tank tops that say witty things like “I am a slave to pilates!”

Pumped, of course, until.

The first cold.

The first heel ache.

The first blister.

The first time my favorite yoga pants are in the wash.

The first flu.

The first snowstorm.

The first time I find myself in the kitchen standing at the counter eating 5 pancakes, 2 pieces of 12-grain bread, 4 scrambled eggs and 9 slices of fake bacon.

I am not even kidding. 

I started exercising again. For my heart. For my body. For my kids. 

I know you’re thinking, “Well, here we go again. This is going to end like, well, like that time or 14 you joined the gym and quit or that time you did the 18-day shred or that time you even almost ran a half-marathon and trained until the bitter end and then, well, just didn’t run because of something like bleeding feet or that time you went and got yourself a full-time job and couldn’t figure out how to fit regular exercise into your routine. WE HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE, ALI. JUST CUT THE SHENANIGANS RIGHT NOW.”

But, well, remember what happened with Phyllis?

That’s right. She found her groove in the form of a khaki-colored silk shirt and a hunter green kerchief. She was a goddammed awesome troop leader to those girls from Beverly Hills.

(Beverly Hills, what a thrill!)

So, that’s that.

It’s the elliptical. 40 minutes. 4 times a week.

It’s working. I feel great. I am less anxious. I am less tired. I am less lethargic. I burn more calories each time.

I just really wish I wasn’t eating every single piece of food in my kitchen that wasn’t nailed down. You guys, it’s beyond ridiculous. I can’t even make it to dinner. Last night I was eating the whole grain lasagna noodles faster than I was able to put them in the 9×13 pyrex. String cheese, a handful of peanuts, yogurt, celery and hummus, carrots. I cannot stop. My appetite is insatiable.

Someone please tell me that this stops.

Because I’m fairly certain that the scale is moving in the wrong direction. 

Also, can someone recommend some good music for me. My iphone yells at me every time I try to ellipticize to MY MUSIC. Apparently, singer-songwriter indie rock isn’t the stuff of great workouts (Who knew?) and there’s only so much Glee music a girl can listen to before her dog starts running for the hills.


  1. You need to drink more water. That explains part of the starving-ness.

    Also, protein helps. Nuts, cheese, etc. I find that sometimes I’ll be ravenous and then some days I don’t want to eat.


    ali replied on

    I drink TONS of water.

    Also..see my snacks. FULL of protein – cheese, hummus, nuts.


    Comment by Kristabella on January 25, 2012
  2. I am you…different but the same. I trained for a half marathon, and ran, and gained 10 pounds….was always eating! I don’t have a solution but I can tell you, I’ve been slowly re-introducing myself to my treadmill. I try to drink lots of Green T, except it keeps me up at night. I drink mineral water to replace my Diet coke binges and when i feel the urge to eat….i lock myself in my room. It gets easier because energy comes back and determination sets in. I do eat a heck of alot of Protein and I treat myself to thick protein shakes at night when all else fails.
    Keep us posted…I will keep on keeping on if you do!!!


    Comment by Justika on January 25, 2012
  3. Hmmm… My ellipticizing music is a bit ridiculous and I’m not sure I really want to share this publicly. I will share with you two songs that I like (I like to do a different incline, resistance, speed for each song – kind of like circuit training. Yes I’m a WEIRDO.) Here are two of my favourites: Coldplay’s Viva la Vida – I love this one to do on a high incline and resistance, I also keep my abs nice and toight. Bedouin Soundclash’s Mountain Top works best on a slightly lower incline and resistance but it gives me pep so get’s me going & very sweaty. :)


    Comment by Sandy on January 25, 2012
  4. I do the EXACT SAME THING. I am the queen starter … and I suck at finishing ANYTHING.

    I have no music suggestions, as I rarely listen to music (am I allowed to admit to that?), but I hope your exercising continues to go well!!


    Comment by Mrs. Wilson on January 25, 2012
  5. Music, eh? I’d recommend Ke$ha’s Cannibal album, The Millionaires, Christina Perri, Amanda Palmer, and Childish Gambino.


    Comment by Avitable on January 25, 2012
  6. Don’t worry about all the eating. This is good. You’re body needs it as it gets used to all the activity. And if you’re eating healthy food, you’ll be ok. If you’re eating lots of protein and the the scale is going up, then it sounds like you’re building muscle. Once your body gets adjusted, the eating will slow up. Don’t give up. You’re doing awesome!

    Sorry I can’t recommend workout music. I too love the indie music.


    alimartell replied on

    haha. But I’m not eating only healthy food…I’m eating EVERYTHING.


    Tamara replied on

    Ok. Well then THAT would be a good thing to quit. :)


    alimartell replied on

    I cannot. I can’t stop eating. EVERYTHING.

    It really makes me hate exercising.
    When I don’t exercise, I have complete control over my calorie intake…when I exercise, it’s like a gong show.

    Comment by Tamara on January 25, 2012
  7. The best advice I ever got was to try to find music that matches your heart rate. REALLY made working out more enjoyable!

    Now, I KNOW there is an incredible site out there that lets you type in your target BPM and it comes up with some great options for songs … but of course I quit exercising before I used it enough and now I can’t find it. But there are lots of lists out there like this: http://runningmusicmix.com/ that give options based on your target heart rate.

    Good luck!


    Comment by Jen on January 25, 2012
  8. I’m sorry, my interest in music does not allow me to make recommendations. I suck.

    I eat all the time. Unless I really convince myself that life will be better if I don’t. That usually involves some sadness so I would say, eat and be happy!


    Comment by Heather on January 25, 2012
  9. Can you believe I paid money to see “Troop Beverly Hills?”

    I can’t!

    Music: if you are wanting to pound the crap out of someone, some Nine Inch Nails.

    Florence and the Machine? XX? Muse? Yuck? (They are my new favorite) 80′s Rock?


    Comment by gorillabuns on January 25, 2012
  10. Flo Rida – Good Feeling
    Robyn – Call your girlfriend
    Enrique Iglesias – I Like It
    Linkin Park has some good beats

    Sometimes the smooth sounds of City & Colour is enough to take my mind off of running.. I was sceptical at first, but my husband trains a lot and gave me the tip of not always trying to find upbeat music, but soothing brain music. I felt great after!!

    Good Luck!
    P.S. Apples… lots of apples.. lol.


    Comment by Suzanne on January 26, 2012

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