January 16 12

There’s this couple in my neighborhood. I don’t know who they are or what their names are or what street in Pleasantville that they actually live on. All I know is that they run together—a lot. They run in the mornings, afternoons, and evenings. They run when it’s cold, when it’s hot, when it’s raining, when it’s snowing.

Instead of being impressed and *gulp* envious of their determination and commitment, I do what I do best. Because sometimes I can be kind of an asshole.

You see, this couple that runs together? I cannot see the “Oh, isn’t that so sweet? They are doing something great for their bodies and for their marriage!”

No. Because all I can see is their matching outfits.

I speak the truth, you guys. Whenever the two are out running, they are wearing the same thing. Morning, noon, night. Jackets, Lululemon hoodies, night-time reflectors (so jerks like me don’t hit them while I’m lazily driving while they are out getting exercise, obviously) neon track pants, red spandex pants, SHOES. Matching shoes.

Matching shoes.

Well luckily for them, they can’t possibly the worst offenders in my life.

They aren’t the Ed Hardy family.

Nobody tops the Ed Hardy family.

Want more pearls of wisdom (or something)? Come on over here and see what I had to think about the Golden Globes last night. I’ll give you a hint: I was partially confused by a bedazzled belt buckle.

  1. I don’t get men that wear the lulu. Of course, I don’t get runners, either.


    Louise replied on

    then you haven’t seen a man in lulu underwear ;)


    Comment by karengreeners on January 16, 2012
  2. Bahahahahaha! I love the Ed hardy family. Nice pic, slick. ;)


    Comment by Sandy on January 16, 2012
  3. That Ed Hardy guy is totally on to you. He’s looking right at you.

    I bet those matching outfit runners share an email account.


    alimartell replied on


    a Facebook account!



    Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] replied on

    If you ever find out that they have a shared Facebook account, you have everyone’s permission to hit them with paintball.


    jack replied on

    you can get
    ed hardyhere


    Comment by Kristabella on January 16, 2012
  4. I always joke with Noah that when we’re old, we’ll have matching track suits. Even though we most certainly will NOT.

    That photo is awesome. Especially since you got Emily to “pose” for it.


    Comment by Mrs. Wilson on January 16, 2012
  5. Matching shoes? That’s too much. And I think just the fact that they’re running everywhere makes them worse than the Ed Hardy family. I used to live just north of a Running Room, and the freaking groups would run past my window all damn day. I never once felt like I ought to join them. Instead, I wanted to pelt them with stale muffins and order them to jog elsewhere in all that spandex. Because I too, can be a bit of an asshole.


    Comment by Jessica on January 16, 2012
  6. Your post made me laugh. We, too, have a couple who run in the neighbourhood. I have never seen them before until about two weeks ago. I couldn’t help but snicker the other day (yes, even though they are out exercising and I’m not) because the wife was way ahead of the husband (presuming they are married). Now today he is way ahead of her. What’s the point in running together, if you don’t run together? No matching outfits though. Thank God.


    Comment by Anne Rodrigues on January 16, 2012
  7. People who run in “gear” are tools. Put on a pair of shorts, a tee shirt, and shoes and just go run (alone, preferably). I am proud to say I’ve never stepped foot in a running store.


    Comment by Alison on January 16, 2012
  8. That is such a travesty.


    Comment by kdiddy on January 16, 2012
  9. I love that you used your kid to get the stealth shot. I’ve never done that ;)


    Comment by Jana A (@jana0926) on January 16, 2012
  10. OMG, am blushing just looking. Fashion statement faux pas. My dogs (by chance have matching reflector jackets and I’M embarassed about that. Oh, the shame. ;-)


    Comment by Dahlila on January 16, 2012
  11. I just don’t get the couples dressing as twinsies. I mean you’re married, right? Not 6 year old twin siblings? Ick. Also, what does that make shopping like? You can’t just go in to Lululemon and pick out something you think is cute, you have to consult at every step of the way. Sounds like a lot of work only to look creepy at the end of it all. No thanks.


    Comment by Jen on January 17, 2012
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    Comment by david on July 6, 2012

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