December 14 11

Well THAT just makes my heart sing.

I’d love to be able to tell you that there are so many wonderful Hanukkah movies but truthfully, there’s not really even a single one I can endorse. I mean, sure, there is that ONE Adam Sandler song that is hilarious the first four times but then just turns into what every single Adam Sandler movie becomes—the same tired shtick. And Eight Crazy Nights just isn’t going to cut it.

But luckily for us at Casa De Martell, not only do we partake in our self-monikered winter holiday mash-up called Chrismukah (and don’t even try to tell me that Seth Cohen invented it because we were spinning dreidels in front of a Christmas tree many, many years before The OC was even a kernel in Josh Schwartz’ creative head.

Merry Chrismukah, yo!

My favorites are tried-and-true, and probably unsurprising.

Elf.

“I’m a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.”

“First we’ll make snow angels for two hours, then we’ll go ice skating, then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie-dough as fast as we can, and then we’ll snuggle.”

“I’m singing…I’m in a store and I’m singing…I’M IN A STORE AND I’M SINGING!” 

Love Actually.

“Now which doll shall we give Daisy’s little friend Emily? The one that looks like a transvestite or the one that looks like a dominatrix?”

“The trouble with being the Prime Minister’s sister is, it does put your life into rather harsh perspective. What did my brother do today? He stood up and fought for his country. And what did I do? I made a paper maché lobster head.”

“Let’s do it. Let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love.”

Scrooged.

“You’ve got a promo featuring America’s favorite old fart reading a book in front of a fireplace! Now I have to kill all of you!”

“No, you are a hallucination brought on by alcohol… Russian vodka poisoned by Chernobyl!”

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

“Oh, Eddie…If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.” 

“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”

A Christmas Story.

“Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl.”

“Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.” 

“Only one thing in the world could’ve dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.” 

And yes, before you get all, but no one actually LIKES A Christmas Story, Ali. I actually really like it.

It’s funny as hell, you guys.

I watch it every year when it’s on repeat on TBS.

When I asked my husband what his favorite Christmas movie was, THIS happened:

“Sixteen Candles. That one is funny.”

“…”

“With the grandparents?”

“Sixteen Candles is about a wedding.”

“With Uncle Eddie?”

“You mean National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation?”

“Yes!”

“…”

“What? It’s the same guy. Rusty!”

“Negative. The Rusty in Vacation is the the same guy from Sixteen Candles. The Rusty in Christmas Vacation is the one you hate from The Big Bang Theory.”

“Oh, well that’s just stupid. Also, then Die Hard is my favorite. Or maybe Lethal Weapon. Don’t they buy trees or something?”

Please tell me you can come up with a better favorite than Sixteen Candles or an 80s action series. 

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  1. Rusty —> Big Bang Theory guy —–lightbulb. Thank you.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Candace on December 14, 2011
  2. Favorite Holiday Movie: Muppet’s Christmas Carol.

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    Amy J replied on

    Well, darn, too fast on the typing Jim Henson’s The Muppet Christmas Carol.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amy J on December 14, 2011
  3. Elf and Love Actually and Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph (claymation) and The Town Santa Forgot (aka Jeremy Creek)!

    Gav slays me. That is the funniest answer to the Christmas question I’ve ever heard!

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    I know. I was dying when he was answering.

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    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on December 14, 2011
  4. A Christmas Story is my favourite. I own it on VHS and I cried this year when our VCR died and I can’t watch it. I keep scanning netflix to see if they add it to their inventory for the holidays.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Chantal on December 14, 2011
  5. My favorite is “The Grinch.” (the original)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Corey on December 15, 2011
  6. LOVE the original (aka: the one that Jim Carrey didn’t ruin) Grinch, and I’m adding Elf to my list. I only saw it for the first time this year, but it made me giggle.

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    alimartell replied on

    We watch Elf just about weekly around here!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jessica on December 15, 2011
  7. Elf and Love Actually, for sure.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angella on December 15, 2011
  8. HAHAHAHAHAHA. That totally sounds like something I would say. Also, my favorite (also the only one on your list I’ve actually seen – SHOCK) is Christmas Vacation. I used to hate the movie but my husband’s family’s love for it has changed my mind.

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    alimartell replied on

    Well,
    ELF and LOVE ACTUALLY are already on the list I am in the process of making for you.

    So.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on December 15, 2011
  9. I don’t actually like any holiday movies for being holiday movies. I like Scrooged because it’s funny, but none of the movies are ones I watch because it’s Christmas. Although Die Hard is probably the best choice. “Now I have a machine gun too, Ho Ho Ho!”

    [Reply]

    Comment by Avitable on December 15, 2011
  10. Love Actually, Elf, and Scrooged. My all time top 3.
    But being a sci-fi fan and all, I feel like I have to include The Star Wars Holiday Special, but OMG, I couldn’t even get past the opening credits! That show is all manners of wrong.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nenette on December 15, 2011
  11. Will you still be my friend if I say DIE HARD? My very VERY favorite is Home Alone. And Home Alone 2. I just love them.

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    Comment by Mrs. Wilson on December 15, 2011
  12. I love Elf. Love it.

    My other two favorites are White Christmas. We watched it every year when I was a kid and well I still do. Also, The Holiday is another favorite.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Issa on December 15, 2011
  13. Love Actually is my favorite, favorite.

    I was watching Christmas Vacation for the 100th time this year and I was like, “Rusty looks familiar.” My husband blinked at me and said, “Maybe because he’s on your favorite show EVER.”

    Not so observant, me.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Mama Bub on December 15, 2011
  14. The Christmas Vacation Rusty was also Darlene’s boyfriend on Roseanne. (Right?)

    My favorite to kick off the season is Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Even though he’s headed home for Thanksgiving, it still counts, yes?

    [Reply]

    Comment by alison on December 15, 2011
  15. Christmas Story is my favorite. We let it play all day long on Christmas.

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    Comment by Paige on December 16, 2011
  16. Christmas with the Kranks. I still do love Tim Allen.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amy on December 19, 2011
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