November 21 11

I don’t remember where I first saw it being referred to as Twilight: Breaking Hymen (Videogum, maybe?), but I haven’t been able to think of it as anything else since. Jesus, I wish I had come up with that. Twilight: Breaking Headboard is a fairly decent runner-up as well. Just as I had done with the three movies before it, I saw the latest Twilight film in the theater, armed with a large popcorn dinner and a strong urge to punch some teenagers in the face. “Seriously, I feel, like, oh my god, so bad for Barbie. She’s totally got a REP now.” I didn’t punch them, but I did manage to shush them three times. Oh yes. I am a shusher. And, if we’re being honest here, I’m pleased as punch that I am.

I almost feel  like calling it a FILM was a misnomer, because, truly, I believe there’s a difference between a movie and a film. And you should really trust me on this one, as I was raised in the Church of TV Screens and Movie-Theater Saints.

Film= The Godfather, part II

Movie= Dirty Dancing

Film= Casablanca

Movie= Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Are you feeling me on this one?

Yesterday, interestingly, I saw a tweet pop up where Miss Jonniker asked what your favorite movie was…if you had to pick one. I shot back with a quick Almost Famous answer. Because it is, in truth, my answer. Always. Now, I’m sure there will be arguments here. But—to me—Almost Famous is a little piece of Cameron Crowe perfection, even down to the handwritten opening credits.Epic, I say. Each scene is a little piece of magic. I am a golden god. Someday you’ll be cool. Rolling Stone. THE BUS SCENE. The music. Frances McDormand. Lester effing Bangs. I’m telling secrets to the one guy you don’t tell secrets to. Zooey Deschanel before she was Zooey Deschanel.

THE BUS SCENE.

I’m never as good as when you’re there. 

I can’t even, you guys.

Either you get it or you, well, don’t.

Film.

100% FILM.

I’m fairly certain that I don’t need to explain to you that Breaking Hymen is a guilty pleasure movie.

You put on your I-Don’t-Expect-Much-Out-Of-This hats and sit and enjoy the show, even down to the campy scene where the werewolves have a conversation. This should never have happened. Werewolves, in wolf form, having a conversation with their human voices. It was like watching Alvin and the Chipmunks or something decidedly more awkwardly comical and uncomfortable. But that’s the thing, the Twilight movies are just so ridiculous that they are great.

With the exception of the name Renesmee. Because, sweet lord, there has never been a worse name in the history of ever. Only now I just know that there will be little Renesmees popping up all over the damn place. Note to pregnant mothers out there: Do Not Name Your Baby Renesmee. No. If you feel compelled to use a name from the film, I highly recommend Alice. Your daughter will probably hate you less.

(Also, I’m totally on Team Edward.)

I think we need a third category here. Guilty Pleasure.

Film: Fargo

Movie: Some Kind of Wonderful

Guilty Pleasure: Center Stage

(Oh, like you never.)

Film: Sleepers

Movie: Say Anything

Guilty Pleasure: She’s All That

(Oh, like you never…again…)

So. What’re yours?

Film. Movie. Guilty Pleasure.

GO!

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  1. Don’t hate me? I really liked Almost Famous but I just can’t separate it from Kate Hudson, who I. absolutely. loathe.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    I actually really, really don’t like her at all.
    Like. AT ALL.
    And she was probably the weakest character in Almost Famous. But I totally bought her in it. Totally.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on November 21, 2011
  2. Love it. I also saw Breaking Hymen this weekend and strangely enough I was shocked at the wolf scene… my mouth was open and I couldn’t speak (odd for me you would HATE watching movies with me)I actually liked it even though it reminded me of the Power Rangers and I kept waiting to hear “take me to your leader”. Weird and unexpected, but that’s why I liked it. I like the campiness of this ‘guilty pleasure’. The headbord scene was so ridiculous. As a Portuguese girl I was impressed with Rob’s go at the language. Overall I have to say it was my fave of the bunch (that doesn’t mean much).

    I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Almost Famous. I also LOVE Trainspotting. One of my all time faves. Also Rush. This list could get very long… kind of like my comment. Sorry! ;)

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    Comment by Sandy on November 21, 2011
  3. Film: Memento, Movie: 50 First Dates, Guilty Pleasure: Year One. (Yes, Really.)

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    Comment by Jessica on November 21, 2011
  4. Film: The Changeling (the 1980 one)
    Movie: The Jerk
    Guilty Pleasure: Blast from the Past

    I think about 95% of my movie watching falls under the guilty pleasure catagory.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Danielle on November 21, 2011
  5. Film: The Sound of Music
    Movie: Dirty Dancing
    Guilty Pleasure: Twilight (all 4 of them!!)

    O.M.G. – I’m on Team Headboard for sure. I’m also Team Edward, Team Alice and Team Kellan Lutz shirtless!!

    Loved Breaking Dawn, minus the wolf talking scene. It was very transformer sounding.

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    Comment by AmazingGreis on November 21, 2011
  6. Almost Famous is definitely one of my most favorite movies ever. The bus scene. I LOVE the bus scene. I ALWAYS get chills and then I can’t get the song out of my head for days. LOVE :)

    Breaking Dawn Before the Spawn, as I’ve heard it called, was good. I hated the wolf talking part (Transformers anyone?) but I loved everything else. Except of course the baby’s name, which I will not utter here. I really hope people take your advice and name their children Alice instead of the other name *shudders*

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    Comment by Andrea on November 21, 2011
  7. Breaking Hymen- 102.1 the Edge last week or the week before referred to it as that. Unless they are again “stealing” fantastic lines and claiming they made it up themselves.

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    Comment by Steph on November 21, 2011
  8. Film: Godfather II
    Movie: Big Lebowski
    Guilty Pleasure: Nacho Libre

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    Comment by Gav on November 21, 2011
  9. Film: Searching For Bobby Fischer (‘see the move/I can’t see it!’ – gets me every.single.time!)
    Movie: 17 Again (Zac Efron makes me feel so wrong it’s right:))
    Guilty Pleasure: Bring It On!

    How do we not hang out more?

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    I TOTALLY THOUGHT OF YOU DURING THAT SCENE! OMG.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kelli on November 21, 2011
  10. Does Sliding Doors count as a Film or a Movie?

    I think all my favorite movies are guilty pleasures. Like Coyote Ugly and Center Stage!

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    Comment by Kristabella on November 21, 2011
  11. Film: Saving Private Ryan
    Movie: Sixteen Candles
    Guilty Pleasure: Zoolander. That movie is so damn dumb but it gets better every time I watch it. Blue Steel!

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    Comment by Lisa on November 21, 2011
  12. Film: Either Mary Poppins or The Sound of Music. I love both equally.
    Movie: Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.
    Guilty Pleasure: 13 Going on 30. Or maybe X-Men. Hard to say.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Issa on November 21, 2011
  13. Film: One Week. Canadiana perfected.
    Movie: Benny & Joon. Johnny Depp perfected.
    Guilty Pleasure: Because I Said So. Mandy Moore’s hair perfected.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kerri on November 21, 2011
  14. I want to do this with every movie I’ve ever seen!

    Film: Scarface
    Godfather (all, even III)
    American Beauty
    Goodfellas

    Movie: Dazed and Confused (My favourite!)
    Blow

    Hovering between film and movie, but most probably movie:

    Cruel Intentions.

    Guilty pleasure, also best movie ever:

    Clueless

    P.S. I love Almost Famous beyond beyond beyond.
    P.P.S. The werewolves talking? I wanted to fall into a black hole.
    P.P.P.S. Mmm… popcorn….

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Even III??!?!?!?

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    Loukia replied on

    Okay. I’m going to say yes. Because I saw Godfather III on the plane and that scene where Sofia Copploa dies? That scene traumatized me. And made me forget about my fear of flying for three minutes. And at the same time, that movie made me want to be in the mafia. (I have since changed my mind. About being in the mafia.)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Loukia on November 21, 2011
  15. Film: Lord of the Rings (trilogy)
    Movie: Benny and Joon or Fried Green Tomatoes
    Guilty Pleasure: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the teenager inside me is still in love with Luke Perry. Oh, yes, she IS.)

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Buffy the movie! OMG!

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    Comment by Cara on November 21, 2011
  16. Film, Movie AND Guilty Pleasure….
    The Notebook.
    I’m not even THAT type of girl, but come ON.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Suzanne on November 21, 2011
  17. Hmm.

    Favorite Film: The Professional (aka Leon)
    Favorite Movie: Airplane
    Favorite Guilty Pleasure: Back to the Future (trilogy)

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Back to the Future is definitely not a guilty pleasure.

    2 and 3 are, though :)

    Hee!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Avitable on November 21, 2011
  18. Film: Shawshank Redemption. I always cry. Or maybe The Departed. Hmmm…

    Movie: Bridget Jones (the first one) because I love the wussy man fight scene. And how Hugh Grant yells out “f*ck me” when he sees her enormous panties.

    Guilty Pleasure: Bridget Jones (the second one) because I hate it and think she didn’t pull off the fatness / cuteness, but I have to watch them as a set.

    [Reply]

    Comment by loren on November 22, 2011
  19. Film: Ever After
    Pride and Prejudice by BBC (which is technically a mini TV-series, but it’s the only version of that book that is accepted by me and hence a Film in my world)
    The Sound of music

    Movie: A Cinderella Story
    Enchanted (and many more of Disney)

    Guilty Pleasure: Overboard

    I could name a thousand more, as I am a flick-oholic, but these top my list most days.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Hallie on November 22, 2011
  20. Oh this is a tough one.

    Film: The Sound Of Music

    Movie: Zombieland

    Guilty Pleasure: Toy Story

    Man, it’s tough to only write one each. I also realized many of my favorite films are Coen Brothers movies. O Brother Where Art Thou, Fargo, Raising Arizona. etc. Oh I do love watching the cinema.

    [Reply]

    Comment by monstergirlee on November 22, 2011
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