Being an adult is so hard. Sometimes I just don’t want to do it. I want to sit around in my snowflake flannel pjs and taste test every Reese’s product and ask twitter whether or not people are supposed to wear underpants underneath tights. Because this is a very important question that I need answered.
(Underpants under tights? YES or NO.)
Yesterday, I tweeted out into the ether.
This is, by far, my most favorite part of twitterâ€”when you tweet and no one responds. When I am simultaneously tweeting about something kind of SERIOUS and IMPORTANT while trying to be funny and well, they both backfire.
I guess it’s my own fault really. I sort of fell victim to my #1 rule on twitter: DO NOT PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELYÂ TWEET. You know what I’m talking about.Â Sometimes people disappoint me so much. I should just take the high road.Â UGH. I absolutely loathe this.
For the record, twitter rule #2: Do not tell me you have news that you can’t share. The most amazing thing in the world is happening to me but I can’t tell you until next Thursday.
#3: Do not send me auto DMs after I have followed you. Thanks for following me! Check out my website for new and exciting updates! This results in an automatic unfollow from me.
#4: Do not cross-tweet Foursquare check-ins. @xxx is the mayor of Ikea. That person is the mayor of being not-awesome. Look, I use foursquare. ON THE FOURSQUARE APP. Because that’s where that is meant to go.
#5: Do not pimp your own post more than twice a day. It’s too much.
#6: Do not tweet inspirational quotes.Â Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all.Â ~ Og Mandino.Â What? I really don’t even understand the concept of tweeting inspirational quotes. Are you trying to inspire others with someone else’s words? Are you trying to inspire yourself? RT the hell out of Og Mandino; this I get. This: RT @OgMandino: Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all.Â Or this:Â I absolutely love the shit out of Og Mandino? That makes sense to me.
(If you do tweet inspirational quotes. Can you explain this to me. I seriously,Â legitimatelyÂ don’t understand.)
(Also, I will totally still love you.)
(We all break the rules sometimes.)
So yes, where was I. Oh, yes! I wrote about something that I didn’t really tell you about. And I apologize for this. But, really, big-girl panties are the worst. And last night I had to put them on. And really, my night was going to be a wonderful cozy night spent watching crappy tv and hanging out with my little bunnies. Instead, I went to meet a friend who I haven’t spoken to in months. A friend who used to be a best friend, but instead has become a person who doesn’t make eye contact. A friend who now sees me and superficially says an awkward hello. A friend who made some big mistakes and hurt someone very close to me.
But, I put on my panties and I went to talk to him. To hear what he had to say, to really listen. I went to talk to him. To tell him some thing that I needed to say, to really make him listen.
And you know what?
It was really hard to do.
But today? I’m feeling really good about it. I listened to what he had to say. And he listened to what I had to say.
I feel like we have a really long road ahead of us, and while some things may beÂ unforgivable, there is a way back. There is a way towards a new normal.
Especially because he isn’t even on Twitter.