September 2 11

Clowns.

Masks.

Creepy twins.

Gefilte fish.

Mannequins.

Talking toys.

Oceans. Lakes. Bodies of water when I can’t see the bottom.

Public bathrooms.

Going bald.

Falling asleep on public transit.

Alzheimers.

The Giving Tree.

That episode of Saved by the Bell where Jessie gets addicted to drugs and is all I’M SO EXCITED!

Benjamin Linus.

Long fingernails.

Raw chicken.

Ventriloquist dummies.

Having my achilles heel cut by someone hiding under the bed.

Pool drains.

Phone calls from my children’s school.

Toddlers & Tiaras.

My babies moving out of the house.

Showering when no one is home.

That really weird boat scene in Willy Wonka. The original, of course.

Skiing.

CSS.

Ranty homeless people.

When people are whispering near me.

The old people in Cocoon.

Birds.

Boats. Ferries. Cruise Ships. Canoes. Those damn floating swans at theme parks.

Varicose veins.

Outbreak. Contagion. Overall plague and epidemics.

The girl who crawls out of the TV in The Ring. Related: static on TVs.

Vomit of any kind.

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  1. I am not scared, per se, when people are whispering near me. But I am always CONVINCED they are talking about me.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Yes. I used the word “scared” pretty loosely there. It’s more like
    PARANOID.

    Hee!

    [Reply]

    Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] replied on

    They’re not talking about you; they’re talking about me.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on September 2, 2011
  2. Having my achilles heel cut by someone hiding under the bed.

    I’d never even thought of this one! Now I have a new irrational fear.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Apparently lots of people have this fear too!
    It happened in Pet Sematary. *shudders*

    [Reply]

    MegglesP replied on

    This is the only memory I have from watching that movie. I did the running leap into bed for at least a month after it. Thanks for reminding me!

    [Reply]

    Jen replied on

    I will now return to JUMPING into bed. Thanks AliMartell. THANKS. (I’m also totally stealing this idea for a post this week)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Danielle on September 2, 2011
  3. I’m with you on all of this but Ben Linus. Like, all of it.

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    Ben Linus will always scare me.
    HIs crazy bug eyes haunt my dreams.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Maria on September 2, 2011
  4. WHY did I read this???? Ugh, Ali – you’re killing me via internet anxiety contagiousness. The Achilles heel thing? Never getting into bed again.

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    Oh don’t worry. Just make sure you check under the bed!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Karen Sugarpants on September 2, 2011
  5. That creepy things, who wouldn’t feel that towards mannequins specially when mall is almost close and your still finding way out. It’s makes me pee.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Krystelle on September 3, 2011
  6. You *should* be scared of having your achilles heel cut. Because it hurts like a mother fucker. Please don’t ask how I know.

    Also? Clowns *shudder*

    [Reply]

    Comment by briya on September 3, 2011
  7. I know you will be scared, I feel this is something we have to take care of not being afraid of these eyes is what I say,

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lola T on September 3, 2011
  8. I’m so scared from those as well…especially vomiting….I just hate that!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Michael on September 3, 2011
  9. I am so happy to see “long fingernails” up there. I. cannot. handle. when my nails are longer than the tips. It really does make me shudder. Also, open bodies of water? Forget about it. To the point where if I ever won tickets for a free all-expenses paid cruise I would be on Craigslist/Kijiji selling those bad boys in a split second.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on September 4, 2011
  10. Showering when no one is home. This is the scariest thing I have experienced this once before and it scare me to death.

    [Reply]

    Comment by allexaU on September 5, 2011
  11. re: open bodies of ocean water …
    my niece just went swimming with the dolphins off the coast of Africa – I assumed it would be similar to what we did in Dolphins Cove in Ocho Rios, with captives dolphins. But no, it was actually swimming in the middle of the ocean where the boat decided to stop by a school of dolphins .. yikes, now that would scare me! oh to be 21 and naive!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on September 5, 2011
  12. [...] in the public bathroom at the zoo. It’s about your date to the senior prom. It’s about your biggest fears. It’s about your grammar pet peeves. It’s about that man who farted on you on the [...]

    Pingback by » Lifestyle Writing. 2011 is the New 2004. Cheaper Than Therapy on October 4, 2011
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