August 30 11

I don’t like to set our house alarm.

I know. I know.

See, the thing is, there’s always someone in the house and when we are in the house, if a door opens, an alarm beeps. That, friends, is super fun. Actually, truth be told, it’s more comforting to me than annoying, except when, at 2am, the door to our garage spontaneously swings open and beeps while the husband is out playing hockey.

My reasoning for not setting alarm is many-fold. I am lazy. I am afraid of setting it wrong. I have nothing in the house that’s worth stealing. This is true. I mean, sure, I have nice dresses and a really lovely iMac and some TVs. But those are all replaceable. My three sets of cutlery are all stainless steel; I don’t own a set of silver than has been passed down eight generations. I have very little in the way of sentimental jewels—my engagement and wedding rings are really the only important ones and when I travel, the rings travel with me. So, no, I don’t typically set the alarm.

So, obviously, I know.

As soon as the husband sent me an email with pre-PEI trip reminders and #3 on the list was “MAKE SURE YOU SET THE ALARM!” I just knew.

“Good evening, Mr. Martell. Your alarm has been triggered and we are seeing some motion in the front hall of your home.”

Oh, goody.

There’s nothing like being awoken—while you are on vacation at the eastern tip of Canada—to find out that there’s movement in your home. You see, even though there really is absolutely nothing worth taking in our home, unless of course you count our dancing Big Lebowski Jesus and an endless supply of Tic Tacs, I forgot about the emotional effect it could have. Once upon a time I had $1,000 stolen from me from someone I know and that violating feeling? It never really leaves you. As I said back then and I’ll say it again, I lost a lot more than money that night. 

We knew it wasn’t our nanny. And we knew it wasn’t our dog, so we did the only thing we could think of—force our friend Shane to get out of his cozy bed and do a little drive-by and see if anything suspicious is happening. When he saw that the giant iMac screen was still standing unsteadily on the plastic folding table, we assumed it was a case of the phantom garage door opening or our magic Delta faucet that occasionally turns itself on, and thanked Shane for not getting killed and sent him home.

(Dude. Our house is kind of creepy.)

Seriously. I am never setting the alarm again.

If they want the Jesus, they can have the Jesus.


  1. Thanks for the lovely post and espcially for the lovely pic of the mighty bowling hero – JESUS! :D


    Comment by Kevin on August 30, 2011
  2. Well, that the other side effect of setting alarms in the house. You made me smile while reading this post. Thanks a lot.


    Comment by Sandy on August 30, 2011
  3. How did I not see your dancing Jesus when I visited you?


    ali replied on

    It was a gift…from Metalia :)


    Comment by Avitable on August 30, 2011
  4. Better safe than sorry?

    I think you just got an alarm and have the beeping to remind you of your dad’s house in Atlanta.


    ali replied on

    Ha! You are totally not the first person to say that!


    Comment by Kristabella on August 30, 2011
  5. I love a good haunted house blog post! Have you named your visitor yet? I always thought Bob was a good ghost name. Bob the Alarm Activating Ghost. BAAG for short… (and, btw, I am joking – technology is a fickle thing that just like to screw with ya)


    Comment by Wendy on August 30, 2011
  6. My grandfather used to have an alarm, but there was a big drawback – on hot nights, you couldn’t open the windows. If you opened the windows pre-alarm, it would let you set the alarm – and if you opened it POST-ALARM ON? Whoo-ee, lemme tell you that noise was loud and annoying. THey even called the house a couple times since no one could remember the code.

    He got rid of it after my brother moved back to SC (which, if you ask me, was all the more reason to HAVE an alarm).

    I still sort of missed having to set it when i was there last, since his code to turn it on or off was my birthday.


    Comment by Mari on August 30, 2011
  7. I’ve never had a house alarm, so I can’t really relate. I live on the top floor of a code-protected building with only 4 other apartments. Some nights I don’t even lock my apartment door because you have to code-in to get into the building in the first place.

    After however many years of the landlords not changing the code, I’m sure hundreds (at least) of people know how to enter my building…and it wasn’t until RIGHT NOW that I ever thought that might be a problem.

    Great. Now I have to make sure my door is locked every night before going to bed. #FirstWorldProblems



    Comment by heidikins on August 30, 2011

Allowed tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>