July 27 11

Sometimes I feel like I’m a colossal fraud in the lady department.

Sure, I love dresses (hoo boy do I love dresses) and skirts and cardigans and sweaters and I could spend an entire day trying on 126 different outfits at anthropologie and I could drool over dresses online for hours on end and whine about how much I absolutely need yet another J.Crew striped shirt to add to my collection of, um, 12, and I could go out and buy something uber-trendy like colored jeans, and I may give you tips about not wearing leggings as pants and not wearing capes and not wearing white pants or manpris, but at the end of the day, I am not as put-together or fashion-forward as you might think or as I may have led you to believe.

Imelda Marcos was rumored to have upwards of 2,700 pairs of shoes. I often wonder, though, if she actually wore all of them. You see, I probably have in my possession, I don’t know, 80 pairs of shoes, but I wear about 15, maybe. And the pairs I wear? I assure you, they are not exciting. They are from Aldo and Gap and DSW. I like shoes, but I don’t love shoes. I live in ballerina flats or tasteful pumps. I appreciate a beautiful-looking shoe, but, in reality, I would rather spend my money on camera equipment than on a new pair of shoes.

I probably have in my possession, say, 20 purses, but I carry exactly ONE. Actually, this is untrue. I carry two: Furla in the summer and anthropologie in the winter. And I occasionally toss my $11 H&M purse into the mix, just for shits and giggles. I like purses, but I don’t love purses.

I wear makeup, obviously, but my routine is basically the same every day and it’s minimal at best. Concealer for raccoon eyes. Shadow. Lipstick or gloss. Mascara. Occasionally I throw in some eyeliner and red lipstick, but I usually end up looking a little bit too lady-of-the-night for my tastes and I don’t want to frighten my coworkers. I have bronzer but I have no clue what to do with it.

I don’t wash my face because I have lovely skin and when I do wash it, it becomes Sahara dry, so I avoid the process altogether.

Hair products? I use shampoo and conditioner. I use a hair dryer and an iron. That is all.

Accessories? I own four belts, but have absolutely no idea how to wear them. I wear my princess-cut Bat Mitzvah diamond studs every single day of my life. I occasionally wear a necklace or two, when I remember. My sunglasses are all from Old Navy and I have never spent more than $12 on a pair.

I can count on one hand the number of pedicures I have had in my lifetime.

Sephora scares the everloving crap out of me.

Sometimes I wear jorts.

But I can’t help but think…maybe if I keep wearing the red lipstick I can just keep continuing to fool all of you into thinking I’m a girly-girl…

DEAL?

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  1. Dude, if you’re a fraud I don’t even know if there is a word for what I am. Trust me, I’m way more misguided than you. :0)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on July 27, 2011
  2. You can’t be a fraud if you’ve found a red lipstick that looks good on you (you have) AND you’ve found a way to apply it that doesn’t make it look like clown makeup (you have).

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    CONFESSION: I got it for free in a swag bag from fashion week!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Thinktink on July 27, 2011
  3. Well I was fooled. *yanks up yoga pants*
    Course, I think Adam is more of a girl than I am.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Karen Sugarpants on July 27, 2011
  4. Who wants a girly-girl? You’re a woman. With a great ass.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Avitable on July 27, 2011
  5. I feel like a fraud unless I’m in a t-shirt and yoga pants or jeans. I will always be a tom boy….

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on July 27, 2011
  6. I’ve spent a lot of time (and posts) trying to convince myself that I like certain things (makeup, accessories, shoes being some of those things) but lately I’ve let go of that and it’s been sort of freeing! I am a jeans and t-shirt, athletic wear person and that’s what makes me feel good. I for one, think you look GREAT in everything you wear so keep it up, whatever you’re doing! :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kaleigha on July 27, 2011
  7. Yes, yes blame it all on red lipstick :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Michael on July 27, 2011
  8. I want to be your type of non-girly-girl because girl, you’ve got it going ON.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Redneck Mommy on July 27, 2011
  9. I love you to pieces, but the fact that you don’t have to wash your face makes me hate you a little bit.

    Also, you look AMAZING in red lipstick. And jorts.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Meghan on July 27, 2011
  10. ya know, I think every girl has a specialty that they focus on. For instance, for me it is shoes. I am a girly girl in every sense of the word but my focus is shoes-my clothes are seriously lacking.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sensibly Sassy on July 27, 2011
  11. I’m totally with you with most of those things, which is why I got rid of most of my shoes because I only wear, what, 5 pairs? And one of those pairs are my winter boots. I’ve worn the same 3/4 inch hoop earrings for the past 9 years so exclusively that anything bigger makes me feel like a cheap hooker. And I don’t remember the last time cleanser (other than a good ole washcloth) touched my face.

    But I can never put together an outfit like you, let alone have the savvy you have to buy the right pieces! I just manage to pass because I wear either jeans or my black/white sarong that any top will go with.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nenette on July 28, 2011
  12. I actually love your red lipstick and you look beautiful.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Ashley on July 29, 2011
  13. Do you want to know how to get 30-50% how to most effective lip plumper? check that most-effective-lip-plumper

    [Reply]

    Comment by Arun Singh on August 7, 2011
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