July 10 11

I am so thankful for this little invention called Google. I remember back when I’d have a question that needed immediate answering and I’d have to take to the giant Encyclopedia Britannicas on the wall in my mom’s house, and even after looking through the eighty-nine pound volume, sometimes the answer wasn’t even in there and then I’d be forced to call my mom at work and ask her secretary is she had any idea if lower abdominal pain required immediate surgery. She never knew the answer, of course.

But now? It’s so different. My immediate questions get immediate answers, and I only very rarely need to call my mom’s secretary.

I wonder, though, what a peek through my google search history would tell you about me…

Danielle Big Brother Evil Dick

Foot binding China procedure

Black Stallion Alec true story

Are Kate Middleton’s  jeans 811 JBrand

Real estate Toronto Queen West

Best brunch in Toronto

Canon 60D vs 5D body

Battlefield Jordin Sparks lyrics

Anne Hathaway Emma One Day

The Wire season 1

Banks of Ohio Olivia Newton John

Ben Gay

Neville Longbottom New Teeth

Monokini

Can you use dude as an adverb

Why does Stumbleupon work for some posts and not for others

How toilets work

Mr. Bean

Selena Gomez Shia Labeouf

Google+ invites do I have them

Poor circulation hands and feet

Always cold circulation problem

I can’t believe all your porn-lovers out there work so hard to erase all of your search history, because DUDE, this stuff is gold. I mean, sure, some of this is self explanatory, such as my camera searches or my dr. google searches about circulation or searching about The Wire and wondering if I have google+ invites and where I would find them and how I needed to know if Danielle and Evil Dick on Big Brother really haven’t spoken in three years. You know, the obvious.

And there are some that baffle even me. I mean, Ben Gay? Why on earth? And How toilets work? REALLY? I do not remember why on earth I was googling this.

And some of them are still making my laugh, even days later, such as when I looked up What Neville Longbottom looks like with his new teeth. The answer? Surprisingly not what he looked like with his old teeth. He is, dare I say it…HOT, And when I had to confirm what I had already suspected…that The Duchess of Cambridge was wearing a pair of jeans (THRICE!) that I already own and love (J Brand 811s, for the record). And what about when I searched some Olivia Newton John song because my husband was walking around our bedroom singing it, which, of course, prompted this tweet:

Now, it’s very important that I publish this post.

Mostly because I have to google some very important things. Like What on earth is Gardens of Time and tips for growing out bangs.

I wonder what your google searches say about YOU.

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  1. I am scared to look at my Google search! It already was amusing (and embarrassing) which persons Google+ thought I would be interested in following based on my Google RSS feeds! EEK!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Laurie on July 11, 2011
  2. My first reaction to Matthew Lewis at the Harry Potter premiere was “oh my god, he’s HOT” because it’s second thought was then “I did not see that coming”

    Even though I saw the first part of #7.

    Also, I haven’t looked at my Search History recently.

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    As a NON-Harry Potter fan…as someone who has seen a few of the movies…in parts…it was SHOCKING to me. SHOCKING, I tell you.

    [Reply]

    Mari replied on

    As it would be (and should be) – have you seen how different the guy that plays Malfoy looks when he’s not bleaching his hair? Go ahead, google Tom Felton

    [Reply]

    Comment by Mari on July 11, 2011
  3. Good googly moogly THAT’S Neville Longbottom?!?

    Oh man.

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    RIGHT?!??!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on July 11, 2011
  4. I saw some shots online from the Harry Potter premiere and I kept thinking “why aren’t they showing any photos of people IN the movie?” Because it was a bunch of hot, good looking people!

    When I was watching The Wire, 90% of my Google searches were about it because the characters have nicknames and they can be tough to keep track of when they have nicknames like Poot.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on July 11, 2011
  5. Now I am both frightened and interested as to what my google searches do say about me.
    Back in my day we had the CD Rom encyclopedia, so that was at least something.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lindsay Dianne on July 11, 2011
  6. I realize this is on every stupid email forward ever, but I pray that my search history is erased upon my death. It’s humiliating, not (just) because of crazy porn searches, but more because I look up so many freaking words that I *should* know as an English teacher :) Also, too much Jon Hamm.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Oh, I look up a tremendous amount of Jon Hamm too…

    [Reply]

    Lindsay Dianne replied on

    We call him “Jon Jambon” in this house.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Amy --- Just A Titch on July 11, 2011
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