I am so thankful for this little invention called Google. I remember back when I’d have a question that needed immediate answering and I’d have to take to the giant Encyclopedia Britannicas on the wall in my mom’s house, and even after looking through the eighty-nine pound volume, sometimes the answer wasn’t even in there and then I’d be forced to call my mom at work and ask her secretary is she had any idea if lower abdominal pain required immediate surgery. She never knew the answer, of course.
But now? It’s so different. My immediate questions get immediate answers, and I only very rarely need to call my mom’s secretary.
I wonder, though, what a peek through my google search history would tell you about me…
Danielle Big Brother Evil Dick
Foot binding China procedure
Black Stallion Alec true story
Are Kate Middleton’s Â jeans 811 JBrand
Real estate Toronto Queen West
Best brunch in Toronto
Canon 60D vs 5D body
Battlefield Jordin Sparks lyrics
Anne Hathaway Emma One Day
The Wire season 1
Banks of Ohio Olivia Newton John
Neville Longbottom New Teeth
Can you use dude as an adverb
Why does Stumbleupon work for some posts and not for others
How toilets work
Selena Gomez Shia Labeouf
Google+ invites do I have them
Poor circulation hands and feet
Always cold circulation problem
I can’t believe all your porn-lovers out there work so hard to erase all of your search history, because DUDE, this stuff is gold. I mean, sure, some of this is self explanatory, such as my camera searches or my dr. google searches about circulation or searching about The Wire and wondering if I have google+ invites and where I would find them and how I needed to know if Danielle and Evil Dick on Big Brother really haven’t spoken in three years. You know, the obvious.
And there are some that baffle even me. I mean, Ben Gay? Why on earth? And How toilets work? REALLY? I do not remember why on earth I was googling this.
And some of them are still making my laugh, even days later, such as when I looked up What Neville Longbottom looks like with his new teeth. The answer? Surprisingly not what he looked like with his old teeth. He is, dare I say it…HOT,Â And when I had to confirm what I had already suspected…that The Duchess of Cambridge was wearing a pair of jeans (THRICE!) that I already own and love (J Brand 811s, for the record). And what about when I searched some Olivia Newton John song because my husband was walking around our bedroom singing it, which, of course, prompted this tweet:
Now, it’s very important that I publish this post.
Mostly because I have to google some very important things. Like What on earth is Gardens of Time and tips for growing out bangs.
I wonder what your google searches say about YOU.