June 20 11

On Friday night I crawled into bed at 8:30pm and was asleep about 26 seconds later.

On Saturday night I crawled into bed at 8:30pm and was asleep about 26 seconds later.

This is what the professionals might consider a pattern of sorts. I mean, I’m assuming, since I’m not actually a professional at anything. Well, besides sleeping. It’s looking like I might be a professional sleeper; I could probably medal in it.

(Reenactment.)

Thanks to summer hours at work, I am waking up daily at 5:45am. The truth is that it’s 1000% worth it. The way this works is that I put in an extra hour each morning of the week and then I get to leave at 1pm on Fridays. If you work in an office full-time, you realize immediately that this extra time is a GIFT.

I can take care of important lady business, like buying Father’s Day gifts and getting unmentionable parts of my body waxed and visiting my tailor. My tailor is one of my most favorite people, and not just because he buys me Snickers bars. He is always good for a laugh, and this visit was no different. I brought him 4 skirts, 2 dresses and 1 pair of pants to have taken in. (2.5 inches!) He takes one look and me and says: “Don’t you know, Ali, losing weight is bad for your wardrobe but good for my pocket.” Don’t I know it. I had reached a point in my life where I assumed that I was going to be a solid 2, occasional 4 for the rest of the my days. And I was completely and totally good with this…and had acquired myself a very decent size 2, occasional 4 closet full of clothing. And then I went and tried to get my body healthy by exercising and cutting diet coke and some salts from my diet…and BAM, I find myself a solid 0, occasional 2.

Please know that no part of my body is complaining about this. I am the healthiest I have been in a long time, possibly ever. You won’t find me pulling a Selena Gomez all hospitalized for eating too many Kit-Kats. I am proud of myself for the hard work I have put in to get my heart healthy. But with the three squares I’m eating daily (plus also all the things I love like cinnamon-stuffed challah and cupcakes at work and all the things that I haven’t cut from my diet because I cannot bring myself to cut things like CARBS), I just wasn’t expecting the weight loss. I wasn’t expecting a $200 trip to see my tailor.

And I wasn’t expecting to come home on Fridays and feel so tired. So I crawled into bed with the intention of just resting my head for ten minutes…and then the next thing I knew it was 8:30am on Saturday morning.

On Saturday, the weather was glorious. We spent the day with my BFF and her girls and some other friends getting all pruney in her pool. Weekends around here have been so filled with freezing weather and rain, rain, rain, we most certainly had to take advantage of the SUN because I had completely forgotten what the sun even looked like and felt on my vampire-looking skin.

Apparently, my body forgot what the sun was like too, because I came home and crawled into bed with the intention of just resting my head for ten minutes…and then the next thing I knew it was 8:30am on Sunday morning.

(Viva la probably heat exhaustion.)

I have avoided Dr. Google up to this point, but if I’m asleep tonight at 8:30pm, I can assure you I will be googling the heck out of this and I will probably tell you that I have mono or anemia or fibriomylagia or arthritis or liver failure or hypthyroidism or tuberculosis or something else I have heard of but know absolutely nothing about. Because I probably have it.

Also, someone will probably need to find my husband a hobby.

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  1. The sun will do that to you. I slept A LOT in Jamaica after being in the sun. And it wasn’t like I was doing anything all day. I was just sitting in the sun/pool.

    Also, I get tired like this the week before Aunt Flo comes. Like so tired I’m convinced that I’m dying of some terrible disease. And then I remember what time of the month it is and a few days later I’m fine.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on June 20, 2011
  2. As far as Dr. Google is concerned, we’re all dying of horrible diseases. It’s when Google can’t find anything horrifying that you should worry.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Hahah. I’m pretty sure I have nothing to blame this on but having three kids and a full-time office job and spending a lot of time running around in the sun. Not very exciting, I know..

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jessica on June 20, 2011
  3. Ali, we’d like to invite you to become one of our Authors in Alexandria. Invitations have been extended to you by email as well.

    You may mirror your existing posts from here or elsewhere or produce original posts there, on anything you wish, as you desire. For your contributions and participation we will blogroll you with no reciprocation required. See our Guidelines for Authors for full details.

    Come contribute your perspectives and opinions to the ongoing conversations there or, even better, start some new – and different – ones of your own. Contact us through the site or directly by return email for full invitations and instructions.

    [Reply]

    Comment by HMS on June 20, 2011
  4. I maintain I could (and will) sleep through any sort of zombie uprising/end of the world virus scenario/Aztec-predicted apocalypse starring John Cusack and a lot of planes.

    Viva la sleep!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kerri Anne on June 20, 2011
  5. [...] my kids can be bullies and because they really don’t care about how probable heat exhaustion makes me feel and because they were pretty much against the idea that going out for brunch on Father’s Day [...]

    Pingback by » PSA: Please Think of the Children. And of ME. Cheaper Than Therapy on June 20, 2011
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