May 24 11

Well, here I am all sucked back into another installment of the Bachelorette because, I mean, how can I not? It’s in my genetic makeup to watch crappy reality tv. I mean, dude, I was one of the three people on that planet who watched Temptation Island. Yes I did. No, I am not proud, but I mean, the heart wants what the heart wants. And my heart wants to sit and be perplexed by men who wear masks and men who get drunk and pass out and snore for a good 5-minute segment and women who always choose the wrong men and oh That JP. God, I hope that JP sticks around for the long haul. Also, is it just me or are there exactly three men who look exactly the same. No, it’s not just me…I just looked it up and yes, they all bear a striking resemblance to weird Jason Schwartzman/Josh Groban/Dax Shepard hybrid. And not really in a good way either…even though I like all three of those guys. Maybe I will be able to tell the three of them apart next week.

THAT JP

In other news, I expressed a pet peeve of mine today on facebook and twitter. I am completely and totally against the double space after a period. I am an editor by trade, and a corrector of grammar by nature. I spend a lot of time with the “find and replace” keys getting rid of that damn extra space. I get that people were taught to use a double space…on typewriters. TYPEWRITERS, people. Back when on typewriters a mere single space was not enough space and so the double space was born. But now! Huzzah! We are in modern times (of computers!) where typewriters are obsolete and so is the double space. I get that there’s debate over it…but I am an editor, and according to most style guides, it’s a single space. So, I tweeted and facebooked this today. And I swear to you, I haven’t gotten this much response to anything on social media ever in the history of ever. People are passionate about spacing issues. Maybe tomorrow I’ll take about how I feel about the Oxford Comma. I mean, I wonder if the haters have been attacking Vampire Weekend for this.

Perhaps this is a good time to get it all out in the open and tell you about some other pet peeves of mine…

I really can’t stand people who loiter around in shopping malls or, say, in the subway station. I might be wee, but I walk with a purpose, and I spend many an afternoon feeling like I am in a game of frogger trying to maneuver my way out of Finch station. There are people everywhere, moving like molasses. Hallways should be built like highways…slow traffic should stay to the right and the people who want to move should be able to move quickly on the left.

I really don’t like cryptic or passive aggressive tweets. “I really cannot believe you have done to this me. Again.” Really? Is that really necessary to share in a public forum? Instead, why not either not tweet that at all OR, here’s an idea, give us a little more detail. “I really can’t believe that my mother in law has called me fat. Again.” See? Much more satisfying.

I really can’t handle people who keep me waiting. I am an early-to-ontime person, but I get that not everyone is like this. I get that some people are just late people. I GET IT. But if you are going to be late…call me, text me, email me, gchat me. I am easy to reach. There’s no reason that you need to keep me waiting. The two worst offenses? Movies and restaurants. If we are meeting for coffee at 10am, do not show up at 10:15 or 10:30 or 10:45 without giving me a little heads up. Don’t have me buy you a movie ticket and then show up during the previews. I show up early or on time so I can see the previews. They are my most favorite part; I really don’t feel like spending them waiting outside so I can give you your ticket.

I don’t like close-talkers.

I can’t handle when someone’s pants are too short.

I don’t understand people who use white fonts on black backgrounds. Do they not understand that this makes me click the X button on the corner of the page quicker than I can polish off a bag of Swedish fish? *MY EYES*

I hate when people don’t use their turn signals; or when they don’t turn off their turn signals.

I can’t handle when this is not done correctly:

I have a really hard time understanding why people hork and spit on the sidewalk. Is excess saliva really that big of a problem for people? Really? You can, you know, just swallow like normal people?

I hate word verifications. The reason for this is that mostly I get them wrong and have to do them at three four times before I get it right.

What about you? Pet Peeves?

 

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  1. I LOVED JP and I too, watched Temptation Island. Where’s the 3rd person?

    I kept thinking Jason Schwartzman when I saw that dude but have heard josh Groban several times today. The Dax Shepard reference completes it. How is she ever gonna tell those guys apart?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Leah on May 24, 2011
  2. People who don’t dim their brights for oncoming traffic. Being able to hear your (general “you”) chewing or swallowing noises. That LOOK that my teenage son gives me. Bad customer service. Being called honey/baby/sweetie by the drive thru workers (is this a southern thing?). Improper pronoun usage: Here’s a photo of him and I. I had better stop before I have to go locate a Xanax.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Cyndi on May 24, 2011
  3. I really need to know your opinion of the Oxford comma.

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    Okay. So, Oxford comma. I am inclined to use it, unless the style guide I am using doesn’t. In that case, obviously, I have no choice. (Chicago manual and Strunk & White say yes; AP says no.)

    But I LIKE an Oxford comma. I feel like it serves a purpose at times to clear up ambiguity.

    Take, for example…this sentence:

    I would like to thank my parents, Richard Gere, and Dolly Parton.

    If you don’t use an Oxford comma…then sentence looks like this:

    I would like to thank my parents, Richard Gere and Dolly Parton.

    And then…this could be taken to mean that Gere and Parton are the writer’s parents, instead of him or her thanking those three sets of people.

    Which, obviously, I will be laughing about all day.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Corey on May 24, 2011
  4. People who text smiley faces the wrong direction. My sister does it all the time and I know she’s done it to irritate me.

    I just realized I double spaced up there. You’re welcome! Old habits – nun habits – die hard!

    (:

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    I am not a big fan of the smiley, really, um, ever.
    I do use it on occasion, but I don’t love it. So…a backward one? forgetaboutit.

    [Reply]

    Comment by loren on May 25, 2011
  5. Oddly, I was taught the double space while learning to type on a computer (this was before the internet was big, however (1990), and dot matrix printers were the norm).

    I take issue with your TP roll installation though. I’ve found the “wrong” way works best in my home. It foils the 4 year old’s need to unroll the whole thing into the toilet bowl or onto the floor. My wife squeezes it so that it won’t roll freely. Drives me nuts.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Dave on May 25, 2011
  6. My mind has officially been blown – thanks for keeping me up to date on the new one space! My pet peeve is people chewing gum like a cow (and I should know I live in a place where our tagline is more cows than people).

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    Gum chewing is a tough one for me too. The cow-chewing, the popping, the smacking…
    *shudder*

    [Reply]

    Comment by Erin R on May 25, 2011
  7. I am so WITH you on the double space after a period. I work in technology, and as editor of our department’s blog I constantly have to fix the dang extra spaces.

    My other pet peeve of this nature is when people feel the need to “dress up” their flier’s fonts … drop shadow and emboss FTL.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Laurie on May 25, 2011
  8. Drives me nuts when people say, “I could care less.” No, what you mean is that you COULDN’T care less. And “supposably.” ARGH! I used to double space – I learned to type on a typewriter – but I’ve since converted to one space. Mostly. Sometimes an extra space still crawls in there.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Karl on May 25, 2011
  9. I of course watched Temptation Island. And even tried to watch the second iteration of it, but it was way too bad.

    Most of my pet peeves are all covered here. Although, I don’t get the TP thing. I don’t have to have it a certain way. I incline towards your “wrong” way because it is really easy for a cat to unravel a TP roll when you have it the other way.

    I also hate people who stand on escalators and moving walkways.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on May 25, 2011
  10. I also loathe double spacing after a period.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nanette on May 25, 2011
  11. Pants too short is my number one pet-peeve. I even dislike capri’s because I think they just look like short pants, which drives me nuts.

    **I went back and removed the extra space in the sentences above because I didn’t want to make the hairs on the back of your editorial neck bristle. I’m a huge double-space offender, taught by my editor-mother who learned on a typewriter. Sigh.

    xox

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    I cannot wear capris because I’m so short that they really just look like flood pants on me…which is really NOT a cute look.

    [Reply]

    Comment by heidikins on May 25, 2011
  12. I’m with you on most of the those, I even watched Temptation Island, too, but I have to say I much prefer the “wrong” way to install toilet paper. I think it looks better and my kids are less inclined to unroll it all if it’s not there in front. I mean, they’ll still unroll it anyway, it might just take a few extra seconds until they remember oh, hey yeah, toilet paper, this is fun!

    [Reply]

    Comment by C @ Kid Things on May 25, 2011
  13. I hate people who wear leggings as pants or (even worse,) pajama pants in public. I’m like, really? Are jeans that complicated and uncomfortable? I also hate those $1 foamy flip flops you can get at Old Navy. Sure, they’re cute for about 3 wearings, but after that they get all nasty and dirty and all I can think about is all the diseases residing in your shoes.

    Also? You’ll notice that I double space after all periods. It may be grammatically correct, but you explain that to my thumb. Some habits just aren’t worth killing myself over.

    Also also? I do spit on the sidewalk when I’m running. But somehow I feel that when I’m in the middle of a 10 mile run, I am entitled to spit wherever the hell I like as long as it doesn’t land on anyone.

    [Reply]

    Comment by MonsteRawr on May 25, 2011
  14. I have recently noticed a handful of people that have made the effort to use their turn signals but have actually used the WRONG signal. Like, they have their left indicator on and then turn right. WTF?

    Also, I hate when people open the door of their parked car into traffic when they are parallel parked. Or just blindly step out from in between cars to get IN to their car. I’m so confused why it doesn’t occur to them that this might be EXTREMELY ALARMING to the people coming at them at 30 mph.

    [Reply]

    Comment by meanliving on May 25, 2011
  15. Usage of the un-word “alot.”

    Chicken on pizza.

    Whiners.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on May 25, 2011
  16. Aside from not caring about Bachelorette and a die-hard double space after the period fan, I loved all your other pet peeves because I’m THE SAME EXACT WAY.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nellie on May 25, 2011
  17. I somehow missed your original tweet because I would have jumped all up in that discussion to say, “OH HELL TO THE NO” to double-spacing after periods. It’s almost comical (ALMOST) how much time I spend on any given day eradicating my company’s correspondence of superfluous spacing.

    My only other HUGE pet peeve is the “I could care less” comment. You COULD care less, you say? Then why don’t you? COULD NOT CARE LESS, PEOPLE. Could NOT care less.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kerri Anne on May 25, 2011
  18. I am SO with you on using the Oxford comma. It makes lists make sense.
    My major pet peeve is people who are completely oblivious to others around them in public situations. For example: people who stop at the bottom of a stairway to check their phone, not realizing that there are others behind them also wanting to get through to their destination; people who walk in trio’s (or more) down a busy sidewalk, preventing anyone from passing by; smokers who smoke right outside the entrances of buildings; and oh how I could go on…
    I guess it all comes down to common courtesy for me!

    [Reply]

    Comment by K-Tee on May 25, 2011
  19. My husband and I are on opposing sides of the period-space issue. (I’m with you, by the way… on the space issue, and everything else you mentioned.)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Anna on May 25, 2011
  20. I use the Oxford comma always.

    I cannot stand: eachother (two words, isn’t it??), should of, would of, could of (it’s should’ve, would’ve, could’ve, people! ), and people who don’t RSVP.

    [Reply]

    Comment by alison on May 25, 2011
  21. P.S. People who have more than 10 items in the express check-out. I have been known to count and flash the stink eye.

    [Reply]

    Comment by alison on May 25, 2011
  22. 1) Windshield wipers that are not going the correct speed for the amount of rain. Or worse, still on when it’s not raining.

    2) When people forget to turn off their turn signal.

    3) clingy people

    4) When my dog follows me incessantly around the house.

    5) When somebody asks me a question and then doesn’t wait for the answer. Don’t ask me how I’m doing today if you don’t want to know.

    6) When people slow down to merge onto the interstate…use the gas pedal, go the speed of traffic.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    YES>
    To all of those things. :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Rebecca @ The Reluctant Housewife on May 25, 2011
  23. Totally with you on the double space issue, hallway traffic flow, and the toilet paper installation diagram. My top peeves: when I see a foot mark used instead of an aphostrophe in advertising or signage; when my mom says “I saw (fill in the blank) and she looks great. She’s so tiny.” (ok, Mom, I get it… I need to lose weight. Noted.); hearing anyone else smack or snap or chew something such that it makes a sound that I can hear (OMG this is huge for me), and when people type in all caps. And I’m in agreement with some of your other commenters with the smokers smoking and capris that look like floods,outside the doorways.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Michele on May 25, 2011
  24. Hmmm, pet peeves, pet peeves.

    Can I just say “everything people do, all the time?”

    And if we ever have a style editing war, I fear that you and I will be on opposite sides.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Avitable on May 26, 2011
  25. I don’t watch Temptation Island,so I know nothing about JP, but was busy nodding my head about everything else EXCEPT for the double spacing issue. How can I get out of that habit that has been built in for around 30 years?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lisa on May 26, 2011
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