May 17 11

I wish I knew how to coupon like an EXTREME COUPONER, which, you guys, cannot be said in anything other than all caps.

I wish I had a painting hanging in my family room that contained nothing but all of the lyrics to “In the Aeroplane Over the Sea” by Neutral Milk Hotel. They are seriously the most wonderful lyrics of anything ever. I’d like to look at it every day and have it remind me to enjoy everything.

I wish it would stop raining. I would really love to see the sun.

I wish my bangs would just grow already. They are currently sitting (un)pretty at the very awkward stage of not quite long enough and not quite short enough. Bobby pins have become my very best friends in the whole world.

I wish I knew how to sew.

I wish I wore red shoes and red lipstick more often.

I wish I could sit down at a piano and play. It has been years…and yet, the fingers don’t forget.

I wish I drank tea. I just, well, can’t. When I was wee, my mom used to give me tea each time I had a sore throat. So now, just as I associate all red candy with cherry-flavored robitussin, I associate tea with having a sore throat. So, to this day, no tea and no red candy. There are exactly two exceptions to this rule: Twizzlers and Swedish Fish.

I wish I didn’t laugh like a total tool every time I even think about Prancing Cera. Hold me closer, Tiny Prancer indeed.

I wish I could dance. You know, something other than the Thriller dance and the Dougie.

I wish that THIS: Football > Basketball > Baseball > Hockey was not the case for me. Because, you know, I live in The Great White North: The land of the puck and the home of the stick.

I wish I could listen to the sound of my children eating. Worst offenders? Cereal and FRUIT. Oh my heck, the fruit. The spleeeeessshhhhhrurg sound.

I wish people would stop calling my land line.

I wish I could tame my backyard weed problem. My poor neighbors give me the stink eye every time I go outside. Their backyard looks like Mr. Miyagi’s while mine is just a field of at least 17 various types of ugly weeds…and they just *know* that weeds don’t really give a crap about fences and their yard is probably doomed. Maybe I should offer to let them use our trampoline.

I wish I could buy a pair of pants without having to have them shortened.

I wish I could properly peel a hard-boiled egg. It’s almost ridiculous. Fun weird bonus fact about me: I make really good egg salad. And I really like to eat egg salad, but I will only eat it if I made it. Anyway. When I make egg salad for myself, I can’t peel the eggs.

I wish I could wear a shirtdress and heels every single day of my life.

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  1. I wish Toronto was a lot closer to Santa Barbara.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Meghan on May 17, 2011
  2. I just got done getting all my coupons ready for a trip to Target tomorrow. After years of dumping all my money at my heaven, the day has come for that place to start paying me! Of course, at this point, I’ve got so much free shampoo in my house, I’m screwed if we all suddenly go bald.

    [Reply]

    Comment by fadkog on May 18, 2011
  3. So, I used to have the peeling-hard-boiled-egg issues, too; I was lamenting to a friend, who told me to: (a) add a tablespoon (or “metre,” in Canada) of vinegar to the water, and (b) put the eggs in the pot with the water when it’s cold, and let it come to a boil WITH the water, and it would be a snap. She was right!

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    I do the letting them come to a boil with the water thing…but I have never tried the vinegar. I will try that next time.

    Metre.
    HA!

    [Reply]

    Comment by metalia on May 18, 2011
  4. I wish I could control my weed problem too. I’m sure my neighbours cringe when they see my dandelion patch.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Danielle on May 18, 2011
  5. The trick to a super easy to peel egg is to immediately rinse wth very cold water after they are done cooking, and then straight in to the fridge..

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    See…I do all the right things….but the peeling just NEVER works for me. ARGHG.

    [Reply]

    Tammi Marie replied on

    Are you running it under the cold water for like a good five minutes? Otherwise I put the eggs in cold water, bring to a rolling boil, put lid on, turn off heat, set timer for 15 min.

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    I am, indeed.
    I am married to a chef. I do this the right way. I assure you. Eggs just hate me.

    Comment by Tammi Marie on May 18, 2011
  6. I boil my eggs the same way every time. Always do the cold water/ice bath thing afterwards. Sometimes, they peel like a dream. The other times they don’t. I think it is the eggs! Not us! IT IS THE EGGS!

    Also, my hair stylist highly recommends taking prenatal vitamins if you want your hair to grow out. It works really well for her.

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    it’s totally the eggs. I agree! because I do everything right, dammit!

    Ohh. I would totally do that if prenatal vitamins didn’t make me barfy inside. heh.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on May 18, 2011
  7. Best way to peel the eggs? Get your kids to do it.

    We can’t EXTREME COUPON in Canada :( I got all excited after the first time I watched that TLC show; I could totally do this! I’ve got nothing but time! Sadly though, it’s just not the same – we don’t have double coupon days or grocery store loyalty cards. Sucks, but true.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jessica on May 18, 2011
  8. I love tiny prancer, and am commenting as commanded by twitter. And I don’t answer my land line. Occasionally faxes come in, and I am destined to only answer the phone when it’s a fax, so I’ve just given up.

    [Reply]

    alimartell replied on

    Did you click the link to see ALL of the Prancing Cera goodness??????? It’s pure gold…pure gold.

    [Reply]

    Comment by mjb on May 18, 2011
  9. I do NOT wish I couponed like the Extreme Couponers, because being on Extreme Couponers is just a brief pit stop before being a candidate for Hoarders. Seriously, the woman bought 65 bags of cat treats AND SHE DOESN’T OWN A CAT!

    I, too, wish I could drink tea because it’s so good for you. I’ve tried and tried, and so far I can only manage it if it’s one of the fruity varieties.

    [Reply]

    Comment by MonsteRawr on May 18, 2011
  10. Now, I wish I had egg salad.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Stacie McDonald on May 18, 2011
  11. I also wish commentluv would cooperate with me on your site. Damn you, commentluv. I even wrote about getting naked this week.

    http://alotoflayers.blogspot.c.....alert.html

    [Reply]

    Comment by Stacie McDonald on May 18, 2011
  12. I wish Apple would invent the iTeleporter.
    I wish I make a salary like I did when I worked in Los Angeles, but I could still work from home.
    I wish summer fruit would hurry up and get here.
    I wish it would stop raining too. Three weeks straight is more than I can handle.

    Um…on the weeds, try spraying vinegar on them. It worked on mine. I got a sprayer and one of those huge five gallon things of white vinegar. My backyard smelled like a salad for a day or two, but the weeds retreated.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Issa on May 20, 2011
  13. Many thanks. Appears searching for this data. Excellent information and facts We’ll visit with regard to info on Paleo Diet program.

    [Reply]

    Comment by berliner on January 29, 2014
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