I wish I knew how to coupon like an EXTREME COUPONER, which, you guys, cannot be said in anything other than all caps.
I wish I had a painting hanging in my family room that contained nothing but all of the lyrics to “In the Aeroplane Over the Sea” by Neutral Milk Hotel. They are seriously the most wonderful lyrics of anything ever. I’d like to look at it every day and have it remind me to enjoy everything.
I wish it would stop raining. I would really love to see the sun.
I wish my bangs would just grow already. They are currently sitting (un)pretty at the very awkward stage of not quite long enough and not quite short enough. Bobby pins have become my very best friends in the whole world.
I wish I knew how to sew.
I wish I wore red shoes and red lipstick more often.
I wish I could sit down at a piano and play. It has been years…and yet, the fingers don’t forget.
I wish I drank tea. I just, well, can’t. When I was wee, my mom used to give me tea each time I had a sore throat. So now, just as I associate all red candy with cherry-flavored robitussin, I associate tea with having a sore throat. So, to this day, no tea and no red candy. There are exactly two exceptions to this rule:Â Twizzlers and Swedish Fish.
I wish I didn’t laugh like a total tool every time I even think about Prancing Cera. Hold me closer, Tiny Prancer indeed.
I wish I could dance. You know, something other than the Thriller dance and the Dougie.
I wish that THIS: Football > Basketball > Baseball > Hockey was not the case for me. Because, you know, I live in The Great White North: The land of the puck and the home of the stick.
I wish I could listen to the sound of my children eating. Worst offenders? Cereal and FRUIT. Oh my heck, the fruit. The spleeeeessshhhhhrurg sound.
I wish people would stop calling my land line.
I wish I could tame my backyard weed problem. My poorÂ neighborsÂ give me the stink eye every time I go outside. Their backyard looks like Mr. Miyagi’s while mine is just a field of at least 17 various types of ugly weeds…and they just *know* that weeds don’t really give a crap about fences and their yard is probably doomed. Maybe I should offer to let them use our trampoline.
I wish I could buy a pair of pants without having to have them shortened.
I wish I could properly peel a hard-boiled egg. It’s almost ridiculous. Fun weird bonus fact about me: I make really good egg salad. And I really like to eat egg salad, but I will only eat it if I made it. Anyway. When I make egg salad for myself, I can’t peel the eggs.
I wish I could wear a shirtdress and heels every single day of my life.