Here’s the thing about suddenly having a commute. I could get annoyed by the fact that I have to drive twenty minutes from my house to the subway; I could get annoyed that I have to pay to park at the subway and then still have to walk 10 minutes to the subway; I could get annoyed that during rush hour the subway is, erm, rather cozy. Or, you could be like me and realize that this, friends, is what they call
It’s true. Sometimes I am actually jealous of my pregnant friends because, seriously, is there anything better than getting the gift of nine months of posts that essentially write themselves, and that’s not even counting the posts once the baby is born. It’s almost worth having another baby. Almost. What did Jon Armstrong say? That Marlo was good for business? He is telling the truth, friends. Well, let me tell you what’s good for my business…THE SUBWAY and/or the rather colorful neighborhood in which my office building is located.
Because just today there was the girl I sat beside who played her red DSi XL while smacking her gum like a damn cow chewing its cud. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. Smack. Smack. Pop. Pop. Smack. I did the glaring thing. I was about to get all Cell Block Tango on her little arse. You pop that gum one more time...I made the WTF face at her 17 times.
Yes. That one.
There was the dude who started shouting expletives including the f-word. Why, you ask, because surely someone wouldn’t audibly start cursing on a crowded subway unless something really horrible happened, right? Well, as it turns out, someone was standing too close to him. On a crowded subway. Imagine that.
There was the lady in the man’s suit with the painted-on eyebrows and no eyelashes.
There were the two women traveling together who I so desperately wanted to give just a wee bit of advice to. “Ladies. One word: THONG.” Really? Are they honestly, legitimately, blissfully unaware of that little thing called panty lines?
…and this was only after one day.
What’s that you say?
OH. You wanted to know about my job? (and by wanting to know, what I really mean is that you are all EnoughAlreadyWithTheVaguenessAliMartell, SpillItDammit!)
Senior Online Associate Editor at Canadian Family.
My first day was filled with all sorts of good things. I met lots of people who all seemed very sweet, but who I really think should wear name tags from here on out. I learned about secret entrances that require passes. I wore heels all day for the first time in over a year and didn’t get blisters. I discovered a super convenient but ridiculously out-of-my-measly-budget coffee shop. I was kind of surprisingly productive work-wise. And I ate a red velvet cupcake.
Yes. I’m full-time fancy now.